How I Gained My Confidence Back

When I entered freshman year I was so excited to be going to this great university, where it was one of the top HBCUs (Historically Black College/University). On top of that, Hampton University is known for having the most beautiful and smartest girls, well I knew I had the smart part down, beauty not so much. By the middle of first semester I basically compared myself to everyone at the school, and fell so short. I felt terrible about myself, because boys weren’t approaching me like they would my friends, no one would dance with me at the parties, etc. I was ready to transfer by the end of fall semester. My mentor told me to “stay at HU, and work on being Tanesha and the rest will fall into place.” So I took her word, and I did exactly that, because I didn’t want to let her down, and I’m not a quitter.  2013, I started completely fresh, I decided I was tired of feeling like I was not good enough. So I took back what was rightfully mine, my confidence.

Here’s basically a summary of what I did to gain my confidence back.

  1. Happiness Only Rule. I only did things that I wanted to do. If it didn’t make me happy, I didn’t do it. Life is entirely too short to waste time doing things that do not make you happy (outside of things I was obligated to do, like school work). Only be around people who make you happy. If somebody hurts you or you don’t like being around him or her, then don’t be around him or her. This rule seems really simple, but it takes a lot of dedication. To me, it is like you have to be a little selfish.
  2. No Comparisons. Do not under any circumstances compare yourself to somebody else. You are not in their shoes, and you don’t know the entire back-story of their life. Stay focused on you, nothing more, and nothing less. You are a precious and wonderful gift to the world. Life would not be the same without you. (Place this mantra around so that you will see it a lot, and believe it.)
  3. Relax. Not everything is going to be perfect. So go with the flow. Do not stress over things that you have no control over. Enjoy the little things in life (like a laughing child, class being cancelled, etc.). Always look for the good in situations, and it will make for happier situations.
  4. Believe in Yourself. You can do anything you put your mind to. If you don’t believe in you, who will? Do not get cocky, that is the biggest way to make your life miserable. Humble, yet Confident.

I will say that self-confidence is at least for me, always a work in progress. Since gaining this newfound confidence, I am much much happier. So I will leave you with this quote

Screen Shot 2014-01-04 at 8.00.49 PM

Keep it Classy,



2 thoughts on “How I Gained My Confidence Back

  1. Bhavika says:

    I’ve found that self confidence is always ‘work in progress’ for me too! I was never naturally confident – if there is such thing – I always have to build it everywhere I go. Sometimes I lose it and I actually follow very similar tips to yours to regain it. A different tip which has worked for me is to challenge myself and throw myself into situations I can do but just don’t do because lack of confidence. Some people wouldn’t do that because it would pressurise them but I think it helps me the most! Although, when I’m not challenging myself, I do find myself going back to square one.

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