Hello Ladies and Co, Recently I have gotten in to this pretty amazing relationship, with my crush (who I have been crushing on forever!). We have been dating for a little while now, and he finally introduced me to the people he hangs out with. We kind of run in different circles. I was so excited and a little nervous to meet all the people he hangs out with! I thought our first party together went really well, until my boyfriend told me that one of his friends didn’t like me. While he didn’t defend me, do you believe your mate (boyfriend, boo, or husband) should have a friend of the opposite sex that isn’t very fond of you? He could’ve just been scared to lose his friend of so many years. Would you trust or would you worry about their intentions? – Friends or more?
Hi Friends or more,
Men are very sensitive creatures and change is no one of their strong suits. If it was me in the situation. I would just ask him about it. Relationships are supposed to have open and clear communication pathways. It obviously hurt your feelings because of his lack of defending you. I think its absolutely okay for my significant other to have a friend who isn’t fond of me, because she doesn’t have to be. He does. It would bother me if her not liking started to hinder my relationship. Like she was all up in his ear saying negative things about me, and he agree with her. Because that’s not cool at all. I mean if you are concerned about his intentions, then maybe you shouldn’t be in a relationship with him to begin with. In a good, healthy relationship you shouldn’t have to worry about his intentions because they should already be clear to you. I hope that this works out, and your relationship is prosperous.
Dear Friends or more,
There will always be someone who doesn’t like you in this world. This person just happens to be a friend of your boyfriend. At this early stage in the relationship I wouldn’t “worry” too much about it but keep an eye and ear on the situation. Because your boyfriend did not defend you the first time may just mean he doesn’t know how to react to the situation, but if it seems to become a habit and he lets this person get away with saying anything negative about you, thats bad for the relationship. But don’t jump the gun and break up now. You all just need to have a serious talk as with every other bump in the relationship. Your boyfriend needs to know how you feel about being talked about and he also needs to value you enough so that no one will be able to speak badly about what it is that he treasures (you, hopefully). If he seems to value the opinion of his friend over the reputation of you, this might not be a relationship you want to pursue further.
Dear Friends or more,
You just started dating this guy, so I wouldn’t worry too much about one of his female friends not liking you. (It is probably because she likes him) If he is still with you after her expressing this to him, then she probably doesn’t have much of a say on who he dates. As long as boundaries are not crossed, (i.e. talking long hours on the phone after 11pm, or something else you just don’t feel comfortable with) let him worry about her. If it is really bothering you then I would suggest ways that you all can hang out in a non party 1 on 1 setting, so that she can get a feel for you. That is depending on how strongly you feel for him. You are probably very young, so try to have fun. Don’t let other people rain on your parade.
Peace, Love, and Harmony,
Hi friends and more!
I myself have come across a similar situation with my boyfriend and I learned men can be very gullible and naive. Your boyfriend probably didn’t think much of the situation honestly BUT you guys need to have a serious conversation and set boundaries early on so he can understand that that’s not acceptable in the relationship. If his friend doesn’t respect or like you that means they don’t respect or like the relationship so they can’t be friends. If he feels it’s a harmless friendship and she stands as no threat, allow time to play out because everything comes out eventually! Don’t lose sleep over it and allow him to handle the situation .