So I guest blogged over at The Kiss of Joy. So here is my post & I hope it helps you, or someone in a long distance relationship. Be sure to share it. Also be sure to check out her stuff! She has some awesome posts!
Hi, So for my post I am going to write out all the things a long distance relationship need to survive and flourish. First some background. To be honest every “some-what success” relationship I have ever had been a long distance relationship, and also my father is in the military and he deployed a lot so I grew up watching his and my mother’s relationship through the stints of long distance. So I am a self-proclaimed expert. Long-distance relationships are a special breed of relationships but I don’t think they’re any harder or any easier than any other “normal” relationship. Long distance relationships have some strong points that normal distance relationships don’t have, and visa versa.
So if you know me, I am always saying that it takes a “hand with five fingers” to make a relationship work, especially a long distance one. What I mean is Relationships take five important components: Communication, Time, Commitment, Effort, Consistency, and Fun.
Communication: Just because your significant other lives a million miles away doesn’t mean that you guys shouldn’t talk it as much if not more than other people in their relationship. To avoid falling into the “we text every day about the same dang things,” trap, you’re going to have to have a plan. I wouldn’t say plan out every conversation, but just set aside time to spend with your significant other. Especially if you both are busy college students, trust me from experience! Maybe have lunchtime phone calls, and then calls at bedtime, discuss the plan with your significant other, so that you’re both on the same page of communication. So if you are having communication issues early in your relationship, it could be simple to correct early. It just requires you both to be open and honest.
Time: When you are in a long distance relationship, everything done together is special. Even if you are not physically together you can do fun things together. You can share a meal together via Skype. Or spend hours on the phone, or anything. My favorite part of being in a long distance relationship is when I fly 1,056 miles to see Andrew, or when he flies to me. While Skype dates, gifts, and 3 hour-long phone calls are wonderful, the best part is when we see each other. Even if all you do is sit in the room and watch movies, it’s never the same. Andrew and I always watch TV and movies together, and he says that every day is a new day with each other. So even if we watched TV yesterday, it’s not going to be the same as watching it today. It’s always worth it because it is your significant other.
Commitment: Your significant other must be committed to the commitment. Trust is what every relationship needs, its like the foundation of a house. If you feel like you cannot trust your significant other around the opposite sex, then you need to take a step back and reevaluate things. To build trust, avoid temptation. If you know every hot young men was going to be a party, don’t go and Skype your man instead. I’m not saying do this every time, but make sure significant other feels like they can trust you. And if your significant other does not tell you every single thing they are doing at every moment, it is OKAY, a little space in relationships is healthy. If you are worried about your significant other finding someone else, you should talk to them about it, especially if it a relationship you are want to be long-term (which should be all relationships right?). they should be able to put those worries at ease, because you shouldn’t have to worry all day and night about some random person taking them away.
Effort: This must be shown consistently. Both parties are involved in this. Relationships in my opinion are 100/100, and I refuse to be giving 100%, and he’s only giving 50%. It makes no sense and leaves one person hurt, usually ‘ the person who is putting forth the effort. Relationships where you are giving your all, and your partner is giving their all creates this beautiful indescribable harmony within your relationship. Trust me. Effort is just as important as commitment, the effort is like the determination to make it work. Effort defines everything that you are trying to. It’s just like one of your fingers, you need all of them to be fully functioning hands. You can be committed and not have any effort, and it not work.
Fun: Lastly, being in a relationship can be serious, but it also HAS TO BE FUN. Make time to relax, and let down your hair, and just really enjoy one other. Be sure to make it a priority in your relationship.
I think these are the ultimate relationship tips, and I hope each and every person who reads this experience an abundance of love and happiness, and continues to read the rest of the 14 Days of Love Series. Also Happy Anniversary to my wonderful, thoughtful, and handsome boyfriend. I love you Stud Muffin.
Keep it Classy,