So hi Ladies and Company, I just graduated [from high school]. And there’s this guy and he has been my boy best friend the whole way through my senior year of high school. He was talking to my friend and having sex with her. But he didn’t want a relationship with her. She thought that she could keep him that way, you know with sex. And me and him being “best friends,” we workout together, go bike riding together, talk on the phone for hours and are always there for each other. I like him a lot but considering the fact that he was kinda with my friend, i dont know. My feelings don’t have an on and off switch. Am I wrong for wanting to be with him, since I’m pretty sure he likes me back but he’s been with my friend? – Best friends or more.
I don’t think that your feelings are wrong, but I would not act on these feelings, for numerous reasons. The first reason is because this is your friend, your boy best friend. You don’t want to jeopardize/ruin your friendship over these feelings, that may or may not be reciprocated. The second reason is because even though they (your boy best friend and your friend) aren’t in a committed relationship, they are still engaging “activities,” which could potentially grow into a relationship (It also could not – we never know with these things). Even though he says doesn’t want to have a relationship with the friend, he’s already smashing. As a woman, and young lady you really only have two options: (1) approach your friend and tell her how you feel and ask her to back off, or (2) tell her how you feel about the best friend and tell her you want her to be happy so you are backing off.
If it was me, honestly I would pull a Frozen and just let it go. You just graduated high school, and there will be plenty more (better) fish in the sea for you!
Keep It Classy,