Hi, I’ve been in a rollercoaster relationship for YEARS now. It started off so promising! As most relationships do. We both fell in love, or atleast I did, and he says he did. But then after a while, he says he just fell out of love with me. We’ve walked out of each other’s lives a few times, but always seem to manage to hold on to the physical part, not necessarily sex, but cuddling and all that good stuff. My wants never change so I don’t understand why he keep coming back. Like thinking I would be okay with just sex! What should I do? I am still very much in love with him, and every time he comes back, I literally relive the memories and times of when we were good… – What should I do?
Dear What should I do,
If he is not giving you what you want or need then I would let it go. You may have to fight to let it go, but I’d let it go. There is no reason to wait around and keep trying to make the same thing work over and over again. Odds are it will be painful to let go off the thought of you two being together. When you let him go you won’t be letting go of those feelings with him so it may hurt a little. But that is the price we pay when we fall for the wrong guy. Love is a gamble, we win some and we lose some. When we lose it hurts like crap, but when we win it’s unimaginable.
And if you let it go, let it go for good. Don’t hold on to the physical stuff, no cuddling, no sex, no constant communication. I would just cut everything off so that you can start to rebuild yourself completely separate from him and with no distractions.
Let the memories remain memories and build yourself the future that you want. Don’t dwell on the past, but build a new thing.