Dear College Love,

Hey Ladies & co, So I’ve been talking to this boy for about for two year now. We’ve had sex, and he’s told me plenty of times it’s not about the sex. We both attended the same college and now that school has started back, I’m wondering if he’s talking to someone else or even having with someone else. I’ve asked him because its always a “No Babe,” but he’s a football player. And he’s also very handsome. So I know he’s getting some action at school. I’m confused I don’t know if he even seriously likes me like I do like him. I also don’t know how to ask him if he’s talking to or having sex with anyone else because as of now we do have something good, I think. – College Love?

Dear College Love,

So as a point of clarification, you said that you and this boy have been “talking,” not dating. You and him are in a situationship. According to Aidan Neal  a situationship is basically a pseudo-relationship. A placebo masking itself as a formative relationship. It smells like a relationship, it sorta looks like a relationship, and it may even feel like one, but it’s not. Now being in a situationship sucks, because it’s a pretend relationship. And you’ve given a piece of yourself to him by way of intimacy. So while you feel like you have some sort of “claim” on him, you don’t. He’s allowed to (and probably is) talking to and being intimate with other people. You guys have something good, but is it really what you want? It seems like you want something more exclusive from him, which as of right now you are unsure if that is being reciprociated.

The easiest way to find out if he is talking to someone else is to ask him.The best way to find answers to all of your questions is to straight up ask him. I’m not saying this is going to be easy because it is not going to be. It’s going to take every little bit of courage you have to go forward. I suggest you and him go somewhere to talk, like the cafeteria on campus, or somewhere neutral and you talk to him and ask him everything you want to know. Keep your head up.

Love Always & Keep It Classy,

– T. Renae

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