Dear Trying to Help a Friend,

Hola Ladies & Company, one of my very best friends wants to tell her guy best friend (not her boyfriend or anything, just good- er GREAT friends). She’s always going to him with her problems, and he’s never failed to be there for her. He’s such a great dude, overall. Well, about a week or so ago, she told me that she realized that he’s the one. Like “THE ONE.” She said that she realized it as she was sleeping over his house and he was talking about his GIRLFRIEND and all the problems they’re having. She said that she realizes that the only person who would be good for him would be her and that she wants them to break out. Honestly, I don’t even think her guy best friend realizes she has feelings for him. They’ve known each other since they were 7, but nothing has ever happened intimately with them. Should she tell him, how she feels? or wait until the time is better (and he is single)? – Trying to Help a Friend

Dear Trying to Help a Friend,

Well, first I commend you for trying to help and seeking out advice. That’s such a great friend thing to do. There should be more friends out there like you.

So to your friend: it is normal to have feelings for someone you’ve known since 7. Just because you’re in close proximity with that person. Psychological research has shown that being in a close proximity with someone physically plays a huge role in attraction. For example, if you see a good looking guy at the mall, and then never see him again. Most likely you will forget about him in a few days. However, if you keep seeing this good looking guy the more attractive he will seem. You won’t forget about him because the stimuli (the good looking guy) has been reinforced in your mind. Now, what physical proximity does is that it ensures that continues exposure (of the good looking guy) keeps happening until attraction intensifies. Now, just because you are attracted to your friend, does not mean you should pursue him. In my opinion, you should respect the fact that he has a girlfriend. If it’s true love, it’ll show itself when the time is right. I think you should hold on to your feelings, for now, and when the time is right, you can tell him. Honestly, if you love him as much as you say you do – his happiness should be the ultimate goal even if that means with his girlfriend.

Keep It Classy,

– T. Renae

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