Live Better, Feel Better

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Back at the beginning of the year, I had decided that my only New Years’ resolution was to be a better person all the way around – mentally, physically, emotionally.

For years, I’ve experienced low self-esteem as well as many years of verbal assaults. “Fat girls shouldn’t wear this.” “You’re too big to wear that.” But, I decided that I didn’t want that to be who I was. I didn’t want to allow other people’s thoughts and opinion to play such a huge factor in my life. I wanted to gain back control of how I view myself and now allow other’s opinions to taint how I view myself.

So on April 16, I decided to start back hitting the gym. I am a plus sized girl, so hitting the gym came with a lot of anxiety. I was afraid of what people would think about me being a bigger girl working out, not really knowing exactly what I was doing, or people thinking that I’m just doing this to get skinny. None of that is the case, I am literally just trying to gain control of how I feel about myself.

So, I started working out. It’s not about the weight-loss or getting skinny, it is more so about me gaining control and loving who I am. I was afraid, but now I feel more empowered. Which has made me want to live my best life. So getting healthy has made me start living my life a little bit better. I don’t worry as much about what I am wearing, or how I look.

Once you start living your life to your fullest potential, unapologetically – you will ultimately feel so much better. Your insides will begin to be reflected in your outward interactions and life.

In what was are you going to start living better – share below in the comments! I want to start improving other aspects of my life as well (such as my living in love (with actions), or spiritually, mentally, etc.)

Love Always,

– Tanesha J.

SoapBox: Don’t Take It Personally.

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People sometimes suck. Being the kind-hearted person I am, I am always expecting people to treat me the way I treat them. But that’s not always the case. People will hurt you, slander your name and not even think twice about it. Which is so strange to me because in school growing up we were always taught – “Treat others the way you want to be treated.”

But maybe that’s how they pull it off – the people who treat you poorly, never expect to be treated badly or are ever actually treated badly. When people don’t treat you with the same decency, respect or kindness that you have shown them, you could get super angry, irritated and upset. OR you could not take it personally. The way people treat others has everything to do with them, and hardly anything to do with the people receiving the actions. For example, if my friend Sally treats me terribly, that says more about Sally than it does about me – especially if I know that I’ve continually treated her kindly or with respect.

At least that’s how I look at it. So continue to treat people kindly and with love – it’s honestly the only way to live with a clear conscious and also it just feels better. 🙂

Love you all bunches,

– Tanesha J.

 

 

Man Crush of the Month: Quenton Jordan

Happy  June!!! I know you all have been waiting so patiently for this month’s man crush! This month’s crush is Quenton Jordan. He’s a major heartthrob from Chicago, IL – he’s 22 years old and single (!!!). We both attended Hampton University and he is a person I definitely look up to. He has this crazy work ethic and natural intelligence that I admire so much.  He embodies the “grind day is everyday” lifestyle. He is currently juggling two careers: one as a business and technology integration analyst at one of the world’s largest consulting firms (fancy lol) and the other as the Co-Founder of a non-profit organization geared towards revitalizing the concept of financial literacy and spreading it to underrepresented groups throughout the U.S. His main hobby is to give back to those who’ve paved the way for myself and others and to those less fortunate than myself. He also enjoys long walks on the beach, candlelight dinners, and other overly romantic activities (“ladies, peep the relationship status”). He truly enjoys trying new foods, watching movies, arguing about sports, and learning new things.

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What makes Quenton most unique is that he is extremely fun to be around and that’s not something everyone can honestly say. He came from a difficult background and now he’s making it to where he is today, puts him in a great position to where he is relatable to people from, almost, all walks of life. He tends to have a different perspective than most people on a number of topics, which makes conversations with him very informative and just great overall. Everyone walks away with some additional knowledge. That’s unique because most people can’t tell you the last thing they learned while in a random conversation.

Now on the rest of the interview!Quenton 6.PNG

Do you have any interesting fun facts about yourself?

I’m the funniest person I’ve ever met.

How would you describe your personality in three words?

Dope Ass Individual

Which do you prefer to listen to your heart or your brain? Why?

Brain – I’m a logical person

Who is your celebrity crush?

Draya

Who do you think should make the first move males or females? Why?

Ladies first, as any true gentleman would say.

What’s the longest relationship you’ve been in? What did you learn?

3 years – Working relationships are all about sacrifice and timing.

What motivational words would you tell someone on the come-up?

If you don’t plan on giving 100% just stop while you’re ahead. Half-ass effort breeds half-ass results. You’ll be beaten by someone who’s fully committed every time.

What’s the most awkward date that you’ve ever been on?

I went out with a girl who was extremely attractive, based on appearance, but she couldn’t hold a convo about anything relevant. I hate wasting words about dumb stuff, so I cut the date short.

Where do you see yourself in the next five years?

In the next five years, I’ll either be in my final year of an MBA program (Harvard or NYU, fingers crossed) or I will have just obtained my MBA. My nonprofit will have tripled in size and quadrupled in impact. I’ll be working on becoming a life coach, and hopefully, my first child will be here making me the happiest man in the world.

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What do you usually do to let a girl know that you are interested in her?

Like pictures from months ago on IG.

What is your favorite and least favorite thing about yourself?

My favorite thing about myself is that I’m fully aware of my strengths and areas that could use improvement. My least favorite thing about myself is that I don’t take the time to really appreciate small things, achievements, etc. I’m always looking for what’s next as soon as I complete the last thing. I don’t celebrate myself enough.

Who has been the most influential person in your life?

My grandfather.

What’s your personal theme song?

Turn My Swag On – Soulja Boy aka Big Draco

How are you changing the world?

I’m directly and indirectly challenging every person I interact with to step their game up and become the best them they can be.

Why do men often look over the average girl?

Because if you’re ‘average’ then that means there are millions more like you, and I already know everything I need to know about you without you having to tell me. There needs to be something unique that attracts me to you over the tons of other ‘average’ people walking around. I don’t think anyone should refer to themselves as ‘average’ or ‘typical’ or anything of that sort. Makes you sound dull. If I ask you to tell me about yourself, you should be able to go on forever because you know yourself better than anyone else and should love talking about how great you are. I know I’m not average, so why would I settle for that?

Why do guys tend to hide your feelings and not fully express them?

This has traditionally been viewed as being feminine. Most men, including myself, still live with this mindset in certain situations.

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How do you seize and take advantage of every single day?

I set daily goals – what do I want to get accomplished today, what do I need to ensure that it happens. I set long term goals with incremental steps in between and work on achieving them daily. I ensure that I leave every day with a new piece of knowledge on at least one topic.

What do you feel men aren’t recognized enough for?

People, in general, aren’t recognized enough for their individual contributions to making the world a better place. I wouldn’t categorize it based on gender. I actually wouldn’t categorize it at all. I think this is better when looked at on an individual basis.

What’s one thing you want the world to know about you and who you are?

I don’t have any talents that others can’t acquire. I simply take advantage of every learning opportunity and train myself mentally to be able to tackle any obstacles in my way. If everyone did the same, the world would be a better place.

Do you have a brand? Share what it’s purpose, mission, and goals here –

RichBefore25 has been my personal brand for the last few years and has recently developed into a business concept, which is in the beginning phases of building its own brand. RichBefore25 is a nonprofit agency focused on spreading financial literacy to members of traditionally underrepresented groups throughout the United States, motivating individuals to pursue their passions, and providing mentorship to those in need. Acting as a connector, linking forward-thinking firms, organizations, and individuals to members of the target demographic, RichBefore25 seeks to leave a lasting impact on communities across the country.

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Want to connect with Quenton – Here are his social media:

To check out all of Quenton’s pictures follow his Instagram

Also, Check Out Rich Before 25’s Website

 

I’m Dealing With Loss…

TW: SuicideDealing With A Loss

 

So recently, about two weeks ago on Wednesday (On May 17), my dearest and most beloved friend took his own life. Literally to know this young man was to love him. He sort of had this magnetic pull about him, where as soon as you met him – you just wanted to be around him more and more. That’s exactly how I felt in high school when I first met him – and even to a week or so before he died and I saw him at the gas station. The feeling never goes away. It’s hard to explain to someone who has never felt the pull of him.

The days following when I found out, I literally stayed up until four am crying and almost hysterical. Why is my friend gone? Why couldn’t he stay here on earth with me? Why couldn’t I save my friend? Why wasn’t my love enough to reach him? Questions that have no answers – the only person who could possibly answer them is now gone.

My Heart was and is very broken over this. I was so fond of this young man, and as were so many other people. At 24 years old, he was/is so loved. Every day, multiple times a day – I find myself wandering back to his Facebook page and reading through every single post that has been made. “RIP my battle buddy” “I cannot believe my friend is gone.” “You were such a great friend, and definitely gone too soon“ “You were so loved…” etc.

After my “hysteria” of losing my friend, I’ve since calmed down and attended both his funeral and wake. But deep down, I’m still hoping that this is some bad dream that I am about to wake up from. As I looked at what used to be the body that housed the most beautiful soul, I felt sort of at peace. The young man in the casket was not my friend, it was just a body… A body that used to hold the spirit and soul of the most amazing person. Everything that made my friend who he was, was gone and what was left was this body. The body didn’t hold the love I felt from this young man, or the happiness he gave other people – it was just a body.

The sun lived in his smile – so I’m often wondering where do I go now without his sun anymore. Grief is a crazy thing. It’s made me lash out at people I care about, become closed off and emotionless and even feeling like my life is meaningless without him. But I know that’s not true, and more importantly, my friend would have been so hurt by that fact. My heart is slowly but surely healing and I know that God has a plan for my life. And within that plan, that this experience was necessary.

If you know someone who is experiencing deep hurt – make sure you are absolutely there for that person. Even if you feel like your efforts are going unnoticed or unhelpful – trust me your efforts are valued. Especially if that person is grieving a loss of a loved one. It means so much to me that so many people have reached out (called and texted), prayed for me, and just had me in their thoughts over the loss of my beloved friend.

If you know someone or if you are suicidal – please reach out to someone. Suicide is not the answer. If you are or someone you know is struggling with depression – Reach out to me, someone you trust or love or call the suicide hotline they are so very helpful and are there 24/7. The number is 1-800-273-8255. They handle both suicide and depression. If you don’t want to talk on the phone try the crisis text line – just text this number 741741.

Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Matthew 5:4 NIV. 

Love Always,

– Tanesha J.

(This post is sort of all over the place – but that’s exactly how I feel, all over the place. I slowly but surely I’m getting back into the swing of things.)

if you are interested in hearing more about my friend, I posted a video on my youtube channel. Click here.

 

Let It Be Done In Love!

Let It Be Done In Love

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“Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us and offered himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God.” Ephesians 5:2 NLT

A few weeks ago on my YouTube channel, I talked about how to be a better person and one of the things I said to do is to do things with love. In the video, I didn’t go into a lot of practical ways to live in love so that’s what this blog post is about.

  1. Love yourself. This is first and foremost! I mean, honestly think about it – how can you live in love and let love follow freely from your heart if you don’t even love yourself first. Your heart should be filled to the brim with love and once you start to love yourself more it will overflow and pour out into everything you do and touch.
  2. Be Considerate. For me, this is done by considering other people’s feelings and what they might be going through in their lives. For example, if someone is being a poor friend to me, instead of lashing out, getting upset, or even cussing them out – I always first try to give the person the benefit of the doubt. Maybe my friend is under a lot of stress and pressure these days, or maybe this person doesn’t know they are being unkind.
  3. Perform Acts of Kindness. This one is pretty self-explanatory. You don’t have to go all out or even spend money (such as paying for the car behind you foods/Starbucks behind you). You could just hold the door for someone and say “I hope you have a blessed rest of your day,” or if you see someone frowning tell them hello! You never know what people are going through, and your smile or hello, or “have a great day,” might help them get through those tough situations in their life.
  4. Love encourages more love. The more you outwardly live your life with love, I firmly believe that the more love will return to your life. I honestly feel like the more I’ve been intentional about being kind and living in love – the happier I have been. I no longer allow people to upset me, and just love them in spite of themselves.

I hope this encourages you to live in love! What are some ways you will begin to live your life in love? Share below in the comments!

XOXO,

– Tanesha Renae

Man Crush of the Month: Christian

This month’s man crush is none other than Christian Faber-Kinney. He is a single, 23 years old from Williamsburg, VA. He is currently in his first year of graduate school at Hampton University in pursuit of a Master’s degree in Sports Administration. He also has a bachelor’s of science degree in Aviation Management. He choose Aviation as his major because he believed it would put him in a good position to make money. However, as Christian matured and got older, he realized it isn’t about the money. That’s why he changed his focus to Sports Administration. He wants to be able to coach the sports that he loves and help shape others. He states, “That is really what life is about.” Christian has been homeless since he was 19 years old and he realized that it is a cold world out there. He believes that people need to love and uplift one another more. What makes Christian unique is that he is super competitive. He wants to win at any and everything. He knows that if he wins in different facets of life, something is going to change his circumstances in his favor. He loves to listen to music, workout, play chess and hang out with his family and friends.

Now on to the interview portion!

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Do you have any interesting fun facts about yourself?

Honestly, I’m a simple guy. You get what you see. But one fact that most people don’t know about me is that I’m super goofy. I try to play it off, but I know I’m not the smoothest guy. I like to laugh at myself and with friends about the most random, simple things.

How would you describe your personality in three words?

Determined, Competitive, Empathetic

Which do you prefer to listen to your heart or your brain? Why?

My brain, definitely. Sometimes in life, decisions need to be made by putting emotions aside. Sometimes temporary feelings can lead you astray from the absolute goal.

Who is your celebrity crush?

Definitely. Taraji P. Henson. Black don’t crack, man.

Who do you think should make the first move males or females? Why?

Males, always. Men have had to follow a social norm where we are supposed to be courageous and confident. You should be able to approach a girl, first. Call me old fashioned, but I don’t question it.

What’s the longest relationship you’ve been in? What did you learn?

I was in a relationship for 1 and 1/2 years. I learned a lot about communication. As a generation, we aren’t very personable. Sometimes we fall back instead of being assertive and communicating problems or feelings with one another. It’s cliché but holds universal truth.

What motivational words would you tell someone on the come-up?

Keep the faith. God won’t put you through any situation that He knows you can’t handle. He has a plan for you.

What’s the most awkward date that you’ve ever been on?

I’ve never really been on an awkward date. I’m pretty good at making people comfortable with me and the moment. I’m not hard to warm up to and vice versa.

Where do you see yourself in the next five years?

To be honest, I’d love to be playing in the NFL and at the top of the punting statistics. But who really knows? So many opportunities, but God has my back. He’ll put me where he believes I need to be.

What do you usually do to let a girl know that you are interested in her?

I’ll be pretty upfront. I’ll just tell her. I’m 23, so I don’t like to beat around the bush. I expect the same in return.

What is your favorite and least favorite thing about yourself?

My least favorite thing about myself is that I’m flirtatious. I know that I’m a guy, but I feel like gotta be more reserved sometimes. My favorite thing about myself is my optimism. I always take the positives out of any situation. Life could be way worse.

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Who has been the most influential person in your life?

Hands down, my father. He’s shown me how to act, how not to act, and how to be a man. I’ve learned so much from him, sometimes without him even knowing.

What’s your personal theme song?

Definitely “Love Yourz” by J Cole. I remember sleeping in my truck overnight or in shelters and just trying to keep myself strong. “Love Yourz” just exemplified that I’m not alone and that I can get through anything life hits me with. “There’s beauty in the struggle”. I learned that first hand. Adversity built character and taught me to love my life and circumstances.

What are your lifetime ambitions?

I would love to make it to the NFL and start up or improve homeless shelters in my area. A lot of people don’t know but shelters aren’t provided in most areas, outside of the winter time. So many people go through hard nights without places to sleep or eat.

What are your career goals?

I want to be happy. It’s that simple. It’s not about the money. I’ve done without it. I just want to see people around me happy and I want to be right there with them.

How are you changing the world?

I participate in reading days at local schools and I also help coach youth football and track. The youth is really where the change starts. Those are the minds that will grow to change the world one day.

What’s one thing you want the world to know about you and who you are?

I just want the world to know that I’m just another kid starting from the bottom and building a dream. I want the world to know that; with God, faith, and hard work, anything is possible in this world.

Why do men often look over the average girl?

There’s no average person, much less an average girl. We’re all unique. I do believe that as men, we need to take our time and be more observant of character over looks, though. That may be part of the problem.

Why do guys tend to hide your feelings and not fully express them?

I know personally, it could do with relationships. I didn’t have a mother figure in my life. I was raised by my father. Didn’t really experience an emotional figure in my life. In turn, this made it difficult for me to express my feelings. I was very hardened. However, the older I get, I realize that emotions are necessary and need to be communicated so that relationships can work.

What do guys do to make them feel better after a long day? What are your forms of self-care?

Honestly, a haircut and shower. You look good, you feel good. Simple as that. My biggest form of self-care is my consumption of water. Water is the best thing for your skin, energy, etc.

What are you most afraid of living in today’s society?

I would say war. I don’t believe in confrontation and I hate to get involved with politics, but I feel like that’s where the US is heading. Especially with Trump as our leader.

How do you seize and take advantage of every single day?

I try to win in anything I do. It’s that simple.

What do you feel men aren’t recognized enough for?

I feel like we’re well recognized. I mean look at this interview. That’s a blessing in itself.

What’s the most discouraging part about being a man? How do you deal with it?

I think our dependability. Everyone depends on the man in the family or situation. I have to constantly keep everyone encouraged and motivated. Give them a secure feeling. This presents a challenge. Some live up to it, some don’t.

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Want to connect with Christian – Here is his social media:

To check out all of Christian’s pictures follow his  Instagram

Christian’s Adventures Via Snapchat and Via Twitter

Or Add him on Facebook – Christian Faber-Kinney

 

3 Tips On Spring Cleaning Your Life!!

3 Tips On Spring Cleaning Your Life!!

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Spring time is a time to start new! Flowers are blooming, new little animals are being born, pollen is everywhere in the air and it just such a happy time. Many people (including my mother) love this time of year because it means spring cleaning. Spring cleaning is not just for the physical things but you can also use it as a time to clean up some of the non-physical things in your life. Here are three quick tips on spring cleaning your life!

#1 – Evaluate friendships. Now, this doesn’t mean get rid of every single person in your circle – but rather evaluate the people you’re calling friends. Consider the following questions: Does this person have my best interest at heart? Do I have their best interests at heart? Does this person tell me the truth or comfort me with lies? Do we encourage each other to do the right thing? Do I trust this person without hesitation?

#2 – Declutter your social media/spaces. I personally love to change my phone background as a way of “freshening” up my phone. Lately, I have been into bright and airy photos for my phone background. I also would suggest clearing out old apps that you no longer use, or just cleaning up how apps appear on your phone/iPad/whatever device you use. I would also suggest clearing out some of your old things on social media, such as that old photo album you created on Facebook when you were 16, old tweets about a fling, or even IG pictures that are more than three years old. Take time to also purge your Facebook friends list – I hardly ever do this, but this year I am really going to evaluate the people that are coming up on my timeline and decide if I really still want/need them around.

#3 – Physically clean up! For me, this not only means to clean up your surroundings such as getting rid of old clothes and junk but also for me to clean up my act. Maybe you’re perfect, but I know that I am not and there are areas of my life that I want to clean up. Such as I want to stop allowing so many things to trigger my emotions as well as I want to love people the way that God loves me. So in order to do that I have to intentionally focus and work on changing these aspects of my life.

What are some ways you are going to spring clean your life this year? Share below in the comments because I would love to hear other ideas!

Love always, XO

–  Tanesha

Life Update & Changes Coming to Ladies & Co!

thankyou.jpgLife Update & Changes Coming to Ladies & Co!

Hey, my loves! I know, I know – I haven’t been on here very much because my life has literally been all over the place with starting new projects, me trying to get a better handle on things that are within my control, and practicing better self-care by only doing things that make me ultimately happy.

# 1 – I started a YouTube channel! I have literally been saying I was going to start one for years it seems like. I really started it as a way to document my life and growth as I am getting into “real adulthood.” Thus far I really love it – creating content, editing videos, and all that is really awesome for me to put my creative juices to work. I also like just being able to have a tiny bit of a following is super cool because I want my channel to be a place of love, happiness and real life experiences that others can learn from. The Channel’s name is Renae’s Corner. If you wanna check out my channel (no pressure!!) – do so by clicking here (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCkriYtzji7NRUw7fsmL-HNQ) and if you want to stay up to date with the things happening in my life be sure to subscribe (again, no pressure!!). Oh! And for the month of April – I will be posting every single day!

#2 – I have decided to stop killing myself trying to post three times a week on Ladies & Company. As many of you all know, it is just me writing – and has been for the past year or so. I was literally driving myself insane trying to post so much. I know, I haven’t even been doing the three times a week as we have gotten into the new year, but I was still literally trying. I felt like I was talking about the same things and not really giving you all my best work. So to correct this situation, I am going to scale back my writing to once a week. I feel like not only will this give me more time to come up with good (italicized) content (and promote this new content properly) as well as be able to live my life without feeling as guilty.

#3 – I am going to disband the Ladies & Company Instagram page. Honestly, I was not posting enough on the page, and it kinda died. So I am going to merge both Ladies & Company and Renae’s Corner into my personal Instagram as a way to just consolidate everything and not have a billion accounts (I know, it’s only three but it feels like so many). So be sure to follow me on Instagram by clicking this link here (https://www.instagram.com/tdotrenae). If you already follow my personal account, no my page won’t be bogged down with advertisements for my blog posts or my new videos! Be sure to connect with me on Instagram – I will be starting to do Insta-Stories and Insta-Lives. (Starting after April 17th)! (Quick note: my IG is going to be in transition for a few weeks, so don’t be alarmed if you don’t see hardly any pictures up – I’m working on rebranding my page).

#4 – I just want to thank you all for your continuous support of this blog. Ladies and Company is literally my baby that I share with the world. I promise I will continue to post and encourage and motivate you all, as I encourage and motivate myself. I appreciate every single viewer on this blog and I love you all soooooo very much!

Love you all! Be sure to check back next Monday for a new blog post 💕

XOXO,

– Tanesha

Man Crush of the Month: Jabril

This month’s man crush is none other than Jabril!!! Just a little back story, Jabril is my Hampton U Big Bro and was VERY influential in me coming to Hampton. He convinced not only me that I needed to be at that great university, but also convinced my mother (who is not easily won over…). Jabril is a 26-year-old from Los Angeles, California, he’s single. He is a sociable, kind-hearted gentleman who loves sports, movies, reading, video games, and a big cup of Chick-fil-a lemonade.  He is the son of two incredible parents who have molded him, transformed him, and given him the strength to endure the most impossible situations. He is also a friend, a mentor, a mentee, and a cultivator of great experiences. He currently works with an outpatient mental health agency as a Therapeutic Behavioral Services Coach. He works with young children in helping them develop tools to better increase the youth’s social and community competencies by building and/or reinforcing daily living skills that will assist the youth in living successfully at home and in the community. In addition to that, he is a full-time graduate student at The University of Southern California obtaining his Master’s Degree in Social Work. He believes that everyone deserves an experience that exceeds their expectation, he believes in going the extra mile, and he believes in fostering a team atmosphere.

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How would you describe your personality in three words?

sociable, driven, caring

Which do you prefer to listen to your heart or your brain? Why?

I tend to listen to my heart. I trust my brain, but when I follow my gut instinct I typically end up making a choice that I am confident in. 

Who is your celebrity crush?

Jhene Aiko

Who do you think should make the first move males or females? Why?

Typically I do believe the man should be the one to take initiative and make the first move. But I also believe that there’s nothing wrong with a woman shooting her shot! The few times that I’ve had a woman approach me and make the first move, I found the confidence extremely attractive and it was a turn on. 
What’s the longest relationship you’ve been in? What did you learn?

The longest relationship I have been in is 3 years. I learned that relationships are full of compromises and for a relationship to be successful neither side can be selfish or unwilling to change.

What motivational words would you tell someone on the come-up?

Never doubt yourself and keep striving for greatness. There are going to be really tough times that make you think you are failing, but making it through those times are what makes you stronger and make the rewards at the end that much greater. 

What’s the most awkward date that you’ve ever been on?

I went on a date in high school and the girl offered to drive at the end of the date she ended up running a red light and getting into a car accident. She also did not have her license so she ended up being taken into police custody. I had to call my father to pick me up and bring me to my car. 

Where do you see yourself in the next five years?

Working my long term career and beginning to settle down and start a family. 

What do you usually do to let a girl know that you are interested in her?

The way I inform a woman that I am interested in her is by the way that I interact with her on the daily basis. I will say more cute things in conversation and make more attempts to hang out.

What is your favorite and least favorite thing about yourself?

My favorite thing about me is my ability to talk and hold a conversation with anyone. I have met a lot of cool and like minded people by just randomly sparking a conversation with a random person. My least favorite thing is that I am incredibly hard on myself and am critical of things that I do. Others may see something I do as great, but I will critique it and think of ways that I could have done it better. 

Who has been the most influential person in your life?

The most influential person in my life is my older brother. He has been through so many different hard times and has always pushed through. I know I can talk to him about anything that I go through and he will give me advice. He has taught me to continue to strive for greatness no matter what adversities I may face. 

What’s your personal theme song?

Soul Food – Logic

What are your lifetime ambitions? 

When I am old and look back on my life, I want to be proud of the things I have done and not have any regrets. 

What are your career goals?

I want to be an Elementary School Social Worker

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How are you changing the world?

I am changing the world by working with at-risk youth and helping them to obtain greatness and see that they are important. Too many people in the world ignore the struggles that inner city youth face. This ignorance is what causes a lot of these children to go seek out approval from others, usually gangs. I want to be able to give back to the community that helped with my upbringing. I hope that one day I will be able to serve the underprivileged youth and explain the importance of believing in themselves and striving for greatness. I hope to share my story, heal the hurt, share the success of the well, and ignite the passion in the weak. I want to be able to give back to the community that helped with my upbringing. 

What’s one thing you want the world to know about you and who you are?

I’m proud of where I come from. Many people see it as a negative being from the “ghetto,” but it made me who I am today. Living in the ghetto was indeed scary –but it also provided for me. It instilled values, thoughtfulness, and the willingness to succeed. It was in my neighborhood that I learned to value all aspects of myself, my past, my present, and my potential.

Why do men often overlook the average girl?

I don’t know what is considered an “average girl,” but what would make me over look a woman is if they are unsure of themselves. As bad as this may sound, I want to be completely honest. Even though I constantly compliment and praise any woman I am dating, it is a turn off for someone to have really low self-esteem.

Why do guys tend to hide your feelings and not fully express them?

Men, especially black men have always been raised to be “tough” and not show feelings. Oppression of feelings is a defense mechanism to not look weak and vulnerable. 

What do guys do to make them feel better after a long day? What are your forms of self-care?

After a long day, I like to unwind by chilling and watching TV and having a cold brew. My forms of self-care are to go to the beach and just listen to the waves, or go and see a movie. Also as a people person, I like to be around people so depending on the type of day I had I sometimes will hit up a friend and hang out. 

What are you most afraid of living in today’s society?

I am most afraid of becoming a hashtag. #BlackLivesMatter

How do you seize and take advantage of every single day?

Every day I go out and do my best. I don’t want to wake up one day and regret not living my life to the fullest. 

What do you feel men aren’t recognized enough for?

I feel as though men are not recognized for the hard work they put into keeping a household running. Many times all you ever hear about is how a mother/wife does so much for a family (which is true), but in my experience, I have seen numerous good husbands/fathers that do not get any recognition for any of the work they put in. 

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Want to connect with Jabril – Here’s his social media:

To check out all of Jabril’s pictures follow his instagram

Jabril’s Adventures Via Snapchat and Via Twitter

Or Add him on Facebook – Jabril Rollins

SUNDAY SOAPBOX: Strong Heartedness

There has to be something to be said about the strong hearted folks out there. When I think about some of the strongest people I know, they are some of the most sensitive and kind-hearted people. No matter how much they are hurt or discouraged, they manage to keep a smile on their face, positivity in their hearts. Which isn’t easy – especially when the world is so set on being negative.

Despite all of the heartbreak, my feelings being trampled, people treating me worse than a stranger, I am strong. You are strong. Despite everything, you are still standing, still surviving and still moving forward. You have literally survived every single bad day, every single situation that you thought would take you out, every single failure – you are a survivor! And that is something to be celebrated.

Stay strong even when it’s hard

XOXO,

Tanesha