Man Crush of the Month: Quenton Jordan

Happy  June!!! I know you all have been waiting so patiently for this month’s man crush! This month’s crush is Quenton Jordan. He’s a major heartthrob from Chicago, IL – he’s 22 years old and single (!!!). We both attended Hampton University and he is a person I definitely look up to. He has this crazy work ethic and natural intelligence that I admire so much.  He embodies the “grind day is everyday” lifestyle. He is currently juggling two careers: one as a business and technology integration analyst at one of the world’s largest consulting firms (fancy lol) and the other as the Co-Founder of a non-profit organization geared towards revitalizing the concept of financial literacy and spreading it to underrepresented groups throughout the U.S. His main hobby is to give back to those who’ve paved the way for myself and others and to those less fortunate than myself. He also enjoys long walks on the beach, candlelight dinners, and other overly romantic activities (“ladies, peep the relationship status”). He truly enjoys trying new foods, watching movies, arguing about sports, and learning new things.

quenton-4

What makes Quenton most unique is that he is extremely fun to be around and that’s not something everyone can honestly say. He came from a difficult background and now he’s making it to where he is today, puts him in a great position to where he is relatable to people from, almost, all walks of life. He tends to have a different perspective than most people on a number of topics, which makes conversations with him very informative and just great overall. Everyone walks away with some additional knowledge. That’s unique because most people can’t tell you the last thing they learned while in a random conversation.

Now on the rest of the interview!Quenton 6.PNG

Do you have any interesting fun facts about yourself?

I’m the funniest person I’ve ever met.

How would you describe your personality in three words?

Dope Ass Individual

Which do you prefer to listen to your heart or your brain? Why?

Brain – I’m a logical person

Who is your celebrity crush?

Draya

Who do you think should make the first move males or females? Why?

Ladies first, as any true gentleman would say.

What’s the longest relationship you’ve been in? What did you learn?

3 years – Working relationships are all about sacrifice and timing.

What motivational words would you tell someone on the come-up?

If you don’t plan on giving 100% just stop while you’re ahead. Half-ass effort breeds half-ass results. You’ll be beaten by someone who’s fully committed every time.

What’s the most awkward date that you’ve ever been on?

I went out with a girl who was extremely attractive, based on appearance, but she couldn’t hold a convo about anything relevant. I hate wasting words about dumb stuff, so I cut the date short.

Where do you see yourself in the next five years?

In the next five years, I’ll either be in my final year of an MBA program (Harvard or NYU, fingers crossed) or I will have just obtained my MBA. My nonprofit will have tripled in size and quadrupled in impact. I’ll be working on becoming a life coach, and hopefully, my first child will be here making me the happiest man in the world.

quenton-7

What do you usually do to let a girl know that you are interested in her?

Like pictures from months ago on IG.

What is your favorite and least favorite thing about yourself?

My favorite thing about myself is that I’m fully aware of my strengths and areas that could use improvement. My least favorite thing about myself is that I don’t take the time to really appreciate small things, achievements, etc. I’m always looking for what’s next as soon as I complete the last thing. I don’t celebrate myself enough.

Who has been the most influential person in your life?

My grandfather.

What’s your personal theme song?

Turn My Swag On – Soulja Boy aka Big Draco

How are you changing the world?

I’m directly and indirectly challenging every person I interact with to step their game up and become the best them they can be.

Why do men often look over the average girl?

Because if you’re ‘average’ then that means there are millions more like you, and I already know everything I need to know about you without you having to tell me. There needs to be something unique that attracts me to you over the tons of other ‘average’ people walking around. I don’t think anyone should refer to themselves as ‘average’ or ‘typical’ or anything of that sort. Makes you sound dull. If I ask you to tell me about yourself, you should be able to go on forever because you know yourself better than anyone else and should love talking about how great you are. I know I’m not average, so why would I settle for that?

Why do guys tend to hide your feelings and not fully express them?

This has traditionally been viewed as being feminine. Most men, including myself, still live with this mindset in certain situations.

quenton-3

How do you seize and take advantage of every single day?

I set daily goals – what do I want to get accomplished today, what do I need to ensure that it happens. I set long term goals with incremental steps in between and work on achieving them daily. I ensure that I leave every day with a new piece of knowledge on at least one topic.

What do you feel men aren’t recognized enough for?

People, in general, aren’t recognized enough for their individual contributions to making the world a better place. I wouldn’t categorize it based on gender. I actually wouldn’t categorize it at all. I think this is better when looked at on an individual basis.

What’s one thing you want the world to know about you and who you are?

I don’t have any talents that others can’t acquire. I simply take advantage of every learning opportunity and train myself mentally to be able to tackle any obstacles in my way. If everyone did the same, the world would be a better place.

Do you have a brand? Share what it’s purpose, mission, and goals here –

RichBefore25 has been my personal brand for the last few years and has recently developed into a business concept, which is in the beginning phases of building its own brand. RichBefore25 is a nonprofit agency focused on spreading financial literacy to members of traditionally underrepresented groups throughout the United States, motivating individuals to pursue their passions, and providing mentorship to those in need. Acting as a connector, linking forward-thinking firms, organizations, and individuals to members of the target demographic, RichBefore25 seeks to leave a lasting impact on communities across the country.

quenton-1

Want to connect with Quenton – Here are his social media:

To check out all of Quenton’s pictures follow his Instagram

Also, Check Out Rich Before 25’s Website

 

Let It Be Done In Love!

Let It Be Done In Love

www.website.com-3

“Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us and offered himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God.” Ephesians 5:2 NLT

A few weeks ago on my YouTube channel, I talked about how to be a better person and one of the things I said to do is to do things with love. In the video, I didn’t go into a lot of practical ways to live in love so that’s what this blog post is about.

  1. Love yourself. This is first and foremost! I mean, honestly think about it – how can you live in love and let love follow freely from your heart if you don’t even love yourself first. Your heart should be filled to the brim with love and once you start to love yourself more it will overflow and pour out into everything you do and touch.
  2. Be Considerate. For me, this is done by considering other people’s feelings and what they might be going through in their lives. For example, if someone is being a poor friend to me, instead of lashing out, getting upset, or even cussing them out – I always first try to give the person the benefit of the doubt. Maybe my friend is under a lot of stress and pressure these days, or maybe this person doesn’t know they are being unkind.
  3. Perform Acts of Kindness. This one is pretty self-explanatory. You don’t have to go all out or even spend money (such as paying for the car behind you foods/Starbucks behind you). You could just hold the door for someone and say “I hope you have a blessed rest of your day,” or if you see someone frowning tell them hello! You never know what people are going through, and your smile or hello, or “have a great day,” might help them get through those tough situations in their life.
  4. Love encourages more love. The more you outwardly live your life with love, I firmly believe that the more love will return to your life. I honestly feel like the more I’ve been intentional about being kind and living in love – the happier I have been. I no longer allow people to upset me, and just love them in spite of themselves.

I hope this encourages you to live in love! What are some ways you will begin to live your life in love? Share below in the comments!

XOXO,

– Tanesha Renae

Man Crush of the Month: Christian

This month’s man crush is none other than Christian Faber-Kinney. He is a single, 23 years old from Williamsburg, VA. He is currently in his first year of graduate school at Hampton University in pursuit of a Master’s degree in Sports Administration. He also has a bachelor’s of science degree in Aviation Management. He choose Aviation as his major because he believed it would put him in a good position to make money. However, as Christian matured and got older, he realized it isn’t about the money. That’s why he changed his focus to Sports Administration. He wants to be able to coach the sports that he loves and help shape others. He states, “That is really what life is about.” Christian has been homeless since he was 19 years old and he realized that it is a cold world out there. He believes that people need to love and uplift one another more. What makes Christian unique is that he is super competitive. He wants to win at any and everything. He knows that if he wins in different facets of life, something is going to change his circumstances in his favor. He loves to listen to music, workout, play chess and hang out with his family and friends.

Now on to the interview portion!

img_2399

Do you have any interesting fun facts about yourself?

Honestly, I’m a simple guy. You get what you see. But one fact that most people don’t know about me is that I’m super goofy. I try to play it off, but I know I’m not the smoothest guy. I like to laugh at myself and with friends about the most random, simple things.

How would you describe your personality in three words?

Determined, Competitive, Empathetic

Which do you prefer to listen to your heart or your brain? Why?

My brain, definitely. Sometimes in life, decisions need to be made by putting emotions aside. Sometimes temporary feelings can lead you astray from the absolute goal.

Who is your celebrity crush?

Definitely. Taraji P. Henson. Black don’t crack, man.

Who do you think should make the first move males or females? Why?

Males, always. Men have had to follow a social norm where we are supposed to be courageous and confident. You should be able to approach a girl, first. Call me old fashioned, but I don’t question it.

What’s the longest relationship you’ve been in? What did you learn?

I was in a relationship for 1 and 1/2 years. I learned a lot about communication. As a generation, we aren’t very personable. Sometimes we fall back instead of being assertive and communicating problems or feelings with one another. It’s cliché but holds universal truth.

What motivational words would you tell someone on the come-up?

Keep the faith. God won’t put you through any situation that He knows you can’t handle. He has a plan for you.

What’s the most awkward date that you’ve ever been on?

I’ve never really been on an awkward date. I’m pretty good at making people comfortable with me and the moment. I’m not hard to warm up to and vice versa.

Where do you see yourself in the next five years?

To be honest, I’d love to be playing in the NFL and at the top of the punting statistics. But who really knows? So many opportunities, but God has my back. He’ll put me where he believes I need to be.

What do you usually do to let a girl know that you are interested in her?

I’ll be pretty upfront. I’ll just tell her. I’m 23, so I don’t like to beat around the bush. I expect the same in return.

What is your favorite and least favorite thing about yourself?

My least favorite thing about myself is that I’m flirtatious. I know that I’m a guy, but I feel like gotta be more reserved sometimes. My favorite thing about myself is my optimism. I always take the positives out of any situation. Life could be way worse.

img_0273

Who has been the most influential person in your life?

Hands down, my father. He’s shown me how to act, how not to act, and how to be a man. I’ve learned so much from him, sometimes without him even knowing.

What’s your personal theme song?

Definitely “Love Yourz” by J Cole. I remember sleeping in my truck overnight or in shelters and just trying to keep myself strong. “Love Yourz” just exemplified that I’m not alone and that I can get through anything life hits me with. “There’s beauty in the struggle”. I learned that first hand. Adversity built character and taught me to love my life and circumstances.

What are your lifetime ambitions?

I would love to make it to the NFL and start up or improve homeless shelters in my area. A lot of people don’t know but shelters aren’t provided in most areas, outside of the winter time. So many people go through hard nights without places to sleep or eat.

What are your career goals?

I want to be happy. It’s that simple. It’s not about the money. I’ve done without it. I just want to see people around me happy and I want to be right there with them.

How are you changing the world?

I participate in reading days at local schools and I also help coach youth football and track. The youth is really where the change starts. Those are the minds that will grow to change the world one day.

What’s one thing you want the world to know about you and who you are?

I just want the world to know that I’m just another kid starting from the bottom and building a dream. I want the world to know that; with God, faith, and hard work, anything is possible in this world.

Why do men often look over the average girl?

There’s no average person, much less an average girl. We’re all unique. I do believe that as men, we need to take our time and be more observant of character over looks, though. That may be part of the problem.

Why do guys tend to hide your feelings and not fully express them?

I know personally, it could do with relationships. I didn’t have a mother figure in my life. I was raised by my father. Didn’t really experience an emotional figure in my life. In turn, this made it difficult for me to express my feelings. I was very hardened. However, the older I get, I realize that emotions are necessary and need to be communicated so that relationships can work.

What do guys do to make them feel better after a long day? What are your forms of self-care?

Honestly, a haircut and shower. You look good, you feel good. Simple as that. My biggest form of self-care is my consumption of water. Water is the best thing for your skin, energy, etc.

What are you most afraid of living in today’s society?

I would say war. I don’t believe in confrontation and I hate to get involved with politics, but I feel like that’s where the US is heading. Especially with Trump as our leader.

How do you seize and take advantage of every single day?

I try to win in anything I do. It’s that simple.

What do you feel men aren’t recognized enough for?

I feel like we’re well recognized. I mean look at this interview. That’s a blessing in itself.

What’s the most discouraging part about being a man? How do you deal with it?

I think our dependability. Everyone depends on the man in the family or situation. I have to constantly keep everyone encouraged and motivated. Give them a secure feeling. This presents a challenge. Some live up to it, some don’t.

 img_1020

Want to connect with Christian – Here is his social media:

To check out all of Christian’s pictures follow his  Instagram

Christian’s Adventures Via Snapchat and Via Twitter

Or Add him on Facebook – Christian Faber-Kinney

 

3 Tips On Spring Cleaning Your Life!!

3 Tips On Spring Cleaning Your Life!!

sessions

Spring time is a time to start new! Flowers are blooming, new little animals are being born, pollen is everywhere in the air and it just such a happy time. Many people (including my mother) love this time of year because it means spring cleaning. Spring cleaning is not just for the physical things but you can also use it as a time to clean up some of the non-physical things in your life. Here are three quick tips on spring cleaning your life!

#1 – Evaluate friendships. Now, this doesn’t mean get rid of every single person in your circle – but rather evaluate the people you’re calling friends. Consider the following questions: Does this person have my best interest at heart? Do I have their best interests at heart? Does this person tell me the truth or comfort me with lies? Do we encourage each other to do the right thing? Do I trust this person without hesitation?

#2 – Declutter your social media/spaces. I personally love to change my phone background as a way of “freshening” up my phone. Lately, I have been into bright and airy photos for my phone background. I also would suggest clearing out old apps that you no longer use, or just cleaning up how apps appear on your phone/iPad/whatever device you use. I would also suggest clearing out some of your old things on social media, such as that old photo album you created on Facebook when you were 16, old tweets about a fling, or even IG pictures that are more than three years old. Take time to also purge your Facebook friends list – I hardly ever do this, but this year I am really going to evaluate the people that are coming up on my timeline and decide if I really still want/need them around.

#3 – Physically clean up! For me, this not only means to clean up your surroundings such as getting rid of old clothes and junk but also for me to clean up my act. Maybe you’re perfect, but I know that I am not and there are areas of my life that I want to clean up. Such as I want to stop allowing so many things to trigger my emotions as well as I want to love people the way that God loves me. So in order to do that I have to intentionally focus and work on changing these aspects of my life.

What are some ways you are going to spring clean your life this year? Share below in the comments because I would love to hear other ideas!

Love always, XO

–  Tanesha

Life Update & Changes Coming to Ladies & Co!

thankyou.jpgLife Update & Changes Coming to Ladies & Co!

Hey, my loves! I know, I know – I haven’t been on here very much because my life has literally been all over the place with starting new projects, me trying to get a better handle on things that are within my control, and practicing better self-care by only doing things that make me ultimately happy.

# 1 – I started a YouTube channel! I have literally been saying I was going to start one for years it seems like. I really started it as a way to document my life and growth as I am getting into “real adulthood.” Thus far I really love it – creating content, editing videos, and all that is really awesome for me to put my creative juices to work. I also like just being able to have a tiny bit of a following is super cool because I want my channel to be a place of love, happiness and real life experiences that others can learn from. The Channel’s name is Renae’s Corner. If you wanna check out my channel (no pressure!!) – do so by clicking here (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCkriYtzji7NRUw7fsmL-HNQ) and if you want to stay up to date with the things happening in my life be sure to subscribe (again, no pressure!!). Oh! And for the month of April – I will be posting every single day!

#2 – I have decided to stop killing myself trying to post three times a week on Ladies & Company. As many of you all know, it is just me writing – and has been for the past year or so. I was literally driving myself insane trying to post so much. I know, I haven’t even been doing the three times a week as we have gotten into the new year, but I was still literally trying. I felt like I was talking about the same things and not really giving you all my best work. So to correct this situation, I am going to scale back my writing to once a week. I feel like not only will this give me more time to come up with good (italicized) content (and promote this new content properly) as well as be able to live my life without feeling as guilty.

#3 – I am going to disband the Ladies & Company Instagram page. Honestly, I was not posting enough on the page, and it kinda died. So I am going to merge both Ladies & Company and Renae’s Corner into my personal Instagram as a way to just consolidate everything and not have a billion accounts (I know, it’s only three but it feels like so many). So be sure to follow me on Instagram by clicking this link here (https://www.instagram.com/tdotrenae). If you already follow my personal account, no my page won’t be bogged down with advertisements for my blog posts or my new videos! Be sure to connect with me on Instagram – I will be starting to do Insta-Stories and Insta-Lives. (Starting after April 17th)! (Quick note: my IG is going to be in transition for a few weeks, so don’t be alarmed if you don’t see hardly any pictures up – I’m working on rebranding my page).

#4 – I just want to thank you all for your continuous support of this blog. Ladies and Company is literally my baby that I share with the world. I promise I will continue to post and encourage and motivate you all, as I encourage and motivate myself. I appreciate every single viewer on this blog and I love you all soooooo very much!

Love you all! Be sure to check back next Monday for a new blog post 💕

XOXO,

– Tanesha

Man Crush of the Month: Jabril

This month’s man crush is none other than Jabril!!! Just a little back story, Jabril is my Hampton U Big Bro and was VERY influential in me coming to Hampton. He convinced not only me that I needed to be at that great university, but also convinced my mother (who is not easily won over…). Jabril is a 26-year-old from Los Angeles, California, he’s single. He is a sociable, kind-hearted gentleman who loves sports, movies, reading, video games, and a big cup of Chick-fil-a lemonade.  He is the son of two incredible parents who have molded him, transformed him, and given him the strength to endure the most impossible situations. He is also a friend, a mentor, a mentee, and a cultivator of great experiences. He currently works with an outpatient mental health agency as a Therapeutic Behavioral Services Coach. He works with young children in helping them develop tools to better increase the youth’s social and community competencies by building and/or reinforcing daily living skills that will assist the youth in living successfully at home and in the community. In addition to that, he is a full-time graduate student at The University of Southern California obtaining his Master’s Degree in Social Work. He believes that everyone deserves an experience that exceeds their expectation, he believes in going the extra mile, and he believes in fostering a team atmosphere.

Jabril-1.jpg

How would you describe your personality in three words?

sociable, driven, caring

Which do you prefer to listen to your heart or your brain? Why?

I tend to listen to my heart. I trust my brain, but when I follow my gut instinct I typically end up making a choice that I am confident in. 

Who is your celebrity crush?

Jhene Aiko

Who do you think should make the first move males or females? Why?

Typically I do believe the man should be the one to take initiative and make the first move. But I also believe that there’s nothing wrong with a woman shooting her shot! The few times that I’ve had a woman approach me and make the first move, I found the confidence extremely attractive and it was a turn on. 
What’s the longest relationship you’ve been in? What did you learn?

The longest relationship I have been in is 3 years. I learned that relationships are full of compromises and for a relationship to be successful neither side can be selfish or unwilling to change.

What motivational words would you tell someone on the come-up?

Never doubt yourself and keep striving for greatness. There are going to be really tough times that make you think you are failing, but making it through those times are what makes you stronger and make the rewards at the end that much greater. 

What’s the most awkward date that you’ve ever been on?

I went on a date in high school and the girl offered to drive at the end of the date she ended up running a red light and getting into a car accident. She also did not have her license so she ended up being taken into police custody. I had to call my father to pick me up and bring me to my car. 

Where do you see yourself in the next five years?

Working my long term career and beginning to settle down and start a family. 

What do you usually do to let a girl know that you are interested in her?

The way I inform a woman that I am interested in her is by the way that I interact with her on the daily basis. I will say more cute things in conversation and make more attempts to hang out.

What is your favorite and least favorite thing about yourself?

My favorite thing about me is my ability to talk and hold a conversation with anyone. I have met a lot of cool and like minded people by just randomly sparking a conversation with a random person. My least favorite thing is that I am incredibly hard on myself and am critical of things that I do. Others may see something I do as great, but I will critique it and think of ways that I could have done it better. 

Who has been the most influential person in your life?

The most influential person in my life is my older brother. He has been through so many different hard times and has always pushed through. I know I can talk to him about anything that I go through and he will give me advice. He has taught me to continue to strive for greatness no matter what adversities I may face. 

What’s your personal theme song?

Soul Food – Logic

What are your lifetime ambitions? 

When I am old and look back on my life, I want to be proud of the things I have done and not have any regrets. 

What are your career goals?

I want to be an Elementary School Social Worker

IMG_1278.JPG

How are you changing the world?

I am changing the world by working with at-risk youth and helping them to obtain greatness and see that they are important. Too many people in the world ignore the struggles that inner city youth face. This ignorance is what causes a lot of these children to go seek out approval from others, usually gangs. I want to be able to give back to the community that helped with my upbringing. I hope that one day I will be able to serve the underprivileged youth and explain the importance of believing in themselves and striving for greatness. I hope to share my story, heal the hurt, share the success of the well, and ignite the passion in the weak. I want to be able to give back to the community that helped with my upbringing. 

What’s one thing you want the world to know about you and who you are?

I’m proud of where I come from. Many people see it as a negative being from the “ghetto,” but it made me who I am today. Living in the ghetto was indeed scary –but it also provided for me. It instilled values, thoughtfulness, and the willingness to succeed. It was in my neighborhood that I learned to value all aspects of myself, my past, my present, and my potential.

Why do men often overlook the average girl?

I don’t know what is considered an “average girl,” but what would make me over look a woman is if they are unsure of themselves. As bad as this may sound, I want to be completely honest. Even though I constantly compliment and praise any woman I am dating, it is a turn off for someone to have really low self-esteem.

Why do guys tend to hide your feelings and not fully express them?

Men, especially black men have always been raised to be “tough” and not show feelings. Oppression of feelings is a defense mechanism to not look weak and vulnerable. 

What do guys do to make them feel better after a long day? What are your forms of self-care?

After a long day, I like to unwind by chilling and watching TV and having a cold brew. My forms of self-care are to go to the beach and just listen to the waves, or go and see a movie. Also as a people person, I like to be around people so depending on the type of day I had I sometimes will hit up a friend and hang out. 

What are you most afraid of living in today’s society?

I am most afraid of becoming a hashtag. #BlackLivesMatter

How do you seize and take advantage of every single day?

Every day I go out and do my best. I don’t want to wake up one day and regret not living my life to the fullest. 

What do you feel men aren’t recognized enough for?

I feel as though men are not recognized for the hard work they put into keeping a household running. Many times all you ever hear about is how a mother/wife does so much for a family (which is true), but in my experience, I have seen numerous good husbands/fathers that do not get any recognition for any of the work they put in. 

IMG_0891.JPG

Want to connect with Jabril – Here’s his social media:

To check out all of Jabril’s pictures follow his instagram

Jabril’s Adventures Via Snapchat and Via Twitter

Or Add him on Facebook – Jabril Rollins

Sunday Soapbox: Standards for Life

I am one of those people who have super high standards in dating and I am unashamed! But when it comes to other aspects of my life – such as how I allow people to treat me – I am much much more lenient. You need to have standards for literally every aspect of your life not just dating. Having standards in dating is great and really necessary,  but your whole life is not focused or based on dating, you’re much more than who you date.

I feel like if you don’t have standards in your life, especially for your social circle – you’ll just allow people to treat you any type of way and then they’ll be able to walk all over you thus break your heart and hurt your feelings. And you don’t deserve that. Yes, in a perfect world people would treat everybody with kindness, but that doesn’t always happen so you should have the standards in place so that people do not treat you any type of way.

Think about in your workplace, if you’re just putting out mediocre or half-ass work – people aren’t going to want to hire you or want to promote you because you’re not doing anything above and beyond. You’re not making the company or yourself look good. For example, I pride myself in the type of work I produce. I’ll make sure to give the project 1000% and ensure that it is the best work that I’ve ever produce, even if I’m feeling lazy. I do this because I want people to associate me with having an excellent work ethics and producing amazing work.

Imagine if you had a standard of how you present yourself and how you dressed,  how people treat you, what type of work you put out, what type of people you entertained in your social circles and much more. People would then HAVE to (or at least be more inclined) to treat you by the standard you have set. If you have a standard of how you look, how you carry yourself and how you interact with people – people always associate you with those things. If you’re always super kind, super positive and happy person – people will always associate that with you (and that will become the image they have of you).

Standards are for you alone to make, and whatever standards you choose – make sure they make you happy.

What are some standards you already have in place in your life or planning on incorporating? Share Below in the comments.

XOXO,

– Tanesha

 

 

SUNDAY (A day late) SOAPBOX: Don’t settle for less!

Let me tell you, I had a breakdown earlier this week. I’m not exactly sure what caused the breakdown but I started to feel like I am suddenly settling with my life. I began to think, maybe this is what my life is going to be – I’m going to live at home forever, not get into graduate school, not find the love of my life and a bunch of other things. I got caught into a negative rut, thinking maybe I don’t deserve all things I was longing for and wanted for so long. But then in the back of my mind, a thought occurred – if you truly feel like you deserve these things, why at the first sign of adversity or an obstacle comes up, you’re questioning your worthiness to receive it? (Print that out and hang it somewhere!)

I wonder why I do this to myself, I get so worked up about things that are largely out of my control at the present moment and then begin to feel like I am undeserving of the things that God has told me specifically are for me. It’s crazy but you cannot settle for mediocrities. There are ENOUGH mediocre people in the world, you don’t need to be another one nor do you deserve to be one.

This quote has literally helped me deal with this: “Don’t settle for average. Bring your best to the moment. Then, whether it fails or succeeds, at least you know you gave all you had. We need to live the best that’s in us.” – Angela Bassett. Now consider this? Right now, if you’re bringing your very best to this moment and every single moment in the future, you will get everything that you deserve. You’ll get the success you want, the love life you deserve, the body you want – the possibilities are literally endless.

Stay Encouraged Boo & Don’t Settle,

– Tanesha 🙂

Beating the Post-Graduation Blues

Are You A Recent Grad? If so this post is for you!

Graduating college is nothing like I imagined. I imagined, I would graduate on May 8th, 2016 and complete a summer internship, get into the graduate school program of my choosing, move out of my parents’ house into a cute little apartment with my Yorkie (dog) and all of these other things that a lot of my other friends were accomplishing or at least what I thought a 20-something should be like after graduating college. One of my very best friends, graduated, moved into this bomb ass apartment and started his full-time job about 3 weeks after graduating – and like in October, he called me and was like “What? You’re still at home? When are you going to move out? What are you doing with your life?” And here I was sitting at home (my parents’ house), with no job, no graduate school, essentially nothing. (NOTE: Thankful my parents are not the type to just kick me out of the house – Thank God!) So on top of already feeling mighty shitty about my situation, one of my closest friends had confirmed basically what I had been thinking for months – that I was a bum, I was wasting all this potential that I had acquired in college, and that I wasn’t going to amount to anything (especially with all this time just passing me by). All of that made me extremely sad (and still does to think about from time to time). I stopped doing the things I loved, just sat at the house – sometimes went to the gym, sometimes went church, but that’s about it. So I spent about a month or 5 months, sad, crying, upset.

I honestly think I needed to go through those things and experience those emotions before I was able to fully be able to trust the process of my life and begin to conquer a lot of the negative self-talk I was doing. But this blog post isn’t for me to vent about how sad my life sometimes is… This blog post is to help you conquer these feelings – well at least the things that have helped me.

  1. Revamp your resume, application pieces, and other things. I took about three days to really revamp my CV/resume. So often, at least for me, I never update my CV – it’ll be two or three new things that need to be added every couple of months, however, I won’t put it on there. I created cover letters (for jobs). I also took the time to work on my personal statement for graduate school. I purchased some new GRE study books and guides, and sign up for a Kaplan course. I feel like this was so important so that when I begin to start applying for school and jobs I won’t have any excuses because all of the “hard things” are already done.
  2. APPLY FOR EVERY-FUCKING-THING. Listen to me, even if you think you are not eligible or not qualified – APPLY. My mother always says, “Let them tell you – no.” – You never know an employer or school admissions board might like you enough to give you the opportunity or the chance. You never know.
  3. Practice some Self-Love. Self-Love for everyone is different. You may want to eat the things you love, start a weight loss journey by working out, read a BUNCH, listen to podcasts – whatever it takes. For self-love includes working out, taking a break from social media, spending time with the Lord, and knitting.
  4. Spend time learning new things – career oriented or otherwise. I think taking time to read some educational books and learn new skills is so important. Not only will it fill you time, it is good to put your energy into projects. My new skill that I learned was really perfecting my videography and being able to start a vlog. Not only does this feed my need to be creative, but it also gives me a way to document my experiences.
  5. Spend Your Time Wisely. I’ll admit I didn’t do this at all, but I regret not spending my time doing more productive things. I spent a good 2-3 months wallowing in self-pity and borderline sadness. But I think if you get into a really good routine of doing different things you will be able to transition smoothly into something new (whether that be a new job or graduate school or new move across the country).
  6. Give yourself time and stop negative self-talk. Graduating college is such a huge accomplishment – ABSOLUTELY DO NOT minimize your accomplishments. So many people do not graduate from college and you have. You are not going to magically be happy again overnight, that is going to take time and effort. I have to intentionally wake up and tell myself, “Today is going to be a great day – no matter what.” You have to believe in the things you are telling yourself as well. One of the main (and most challenging) habits you are going to have to kick is negative self-talk. A good friend of mine gave me this positive affirmation that I have been using lately and it goes like this – “I can have success and success is for me,” and “I can have love, love is for me and I deserve it.” You can just fill in the italicized words for the things that you want – love, money, success, happiness, or literally anything.

 

Have you recently graduated college recently? How did you beat the post-graduation blues?

XOXO,

– Tanesha

Things I Learned in 2016 That I Am Bringing Into My 2017

It has been about 7 or 8 days into 2017 (at least when I am writing this) and everyone around me has been either saying “new year, new me – I am overhauling my life to make more positive changes and resolutions” or the more self-righteous “I don’t need New Years to recreate myself – I do that every week.” I am somewhat in the middle. This new year, I am super excited about the upcoming possibilities and opportunities that are coming my way. However, I didn’t get there by happenstance – without 2016 there wouldn’t be this chance for 2017.

So here are some of the lessons that I learned in 2016, that I am definitely taking with me into 2017.

  1. It is absolutely OK to not be OK. You are under no circumstances required to be OK all the time. There are days when you are going to be unhappy, distraught, stressed out, worried, etc – and that’s okay. Life is not roses and daisies all the time and that is okay. Honestly, think about this, if life was everything you wanted it to be, you wouldn’t be satisfied nor have an appreciation for all the good that is going on. You gotta take the good with the bad. Balance.
  2. Positive in, Positive Out. You must speak life and positivity over your future and your life. My mother and my friend are always saying you must visual your success and have positive thoughts about your future. Otherwise, it won’t happen. You have to have confidence that the things you desire, the love you want, the job/career you want, all of those things and more will come to you.
  3. Planning is great, but God’s plan is perfect. I am a planner by nature, I like to know what’s going to happen, when it is going to happen, why it is happening – everything. But God does not work like that at all. Not because He is going to harm us, rather because he has plans to prosper us in the future (my paraphrase from Jeremiah 29:11). Furthermore, God’s plan is perfect, absolutely perfect (so perfect we cannot even comprehend). There is nothing in the perfect plan of God, that is not meant for your good. There was a quote by Lisa Bever – she stated, “If you think that you have blown God’s for your life, rest in this: You, my beautiful friend, are not that strong.”
  4. Time heals all wounds, even the ones that hurt the most. Both physical and mental wounds are the same in some sense. First, you get hurt and then you got to put a bandage over the wound to not infect it anymore but also to give your body time to do what it is designed to do heal. Even for mental and emotional wounds, you have to put a bandage on it and give it time to heal. Invest your time into healing yourself. You cannot rush healing my friend, you have to go through all the pain, suffering and once you experience all that you will be allowed to heal.
  5. You deserve to be treated well. People’s actions are not a reflection of you, but rather of you. You don’t have to be a savage, specially in the “world of being a savage.” It is okay to treat others better than they treat you. There are not enough kind-hearted people in the world. But with this, do not be mistaken – I am not saying put up with everyone’s crap. I’m saying treat people kindly, but be sure to take care of yourself.

With all that being said, I hope that 2017 brings you everything that you need to be the best version of yourself.

I love you bunches.

XOXO,

– Tanesha J.