New {School} Year Resolutions!!

So here are my goals for my Junior year of college.

  1. Maintain a steady bedtime.
  2. Try to wake up earlier.
  3. Be a dedicated committed and dependable member of ALL the organizations I am apart of.
  4. Study consistently and early.
  5. Do at least 30 minutes of exercise three times a week.
  6. Dress nicely whenever I leave the dorm.
  7. Eat Breakfast and Pray EVERYDAY.
  8. Don’t procrastinate – EVER.
  9. Be a blessing to every person I come in contact with.

 

What are your new school year resolutions? Comment Below and share!

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Black Women Empowerment

So lately I’ve been seeing a bunch of negative stereotypes about Black women, and how we are lazy and just plain rude things. And to be honest, it kinda hurt my feelings because I’m a Black woman, and is this what people think about me when they see me. So I went and asked some wonderful Black Men about Black women.  So I asked them to complete the sentence:

“Black women are the epitome of __________.”

“Strength.” – Devin
“Hard work and Motivation.” – Bruce
“When beauty meets excellence flawlessly.” – Chrispus
“Perseverance.” – Kam
“Beauty.” – Calvin
“Love.” – Charles
“Progression. ” – Kevin
“Self confidence, power, and conquering struggle.” – Andrew
“Intimidation and Comfort.” – Chris
“Strength in the face of overwhelming odds.” – Rainy
“Grace and strength.” – Jordan
“Beauty and happiness.” – David B.
“Motherhood.” – Kennedy
“Beauty and Intelligence.” – Darrel
“Intelligence, life, love, Struggle, Triumph.” – Ras
“God’s creativity.” – Marshal
“Beauty, strength, and love.” – Elijah
“Strength and Love.” – Cordell
“Life.” – Chad
“Perseverance and vitality.” – Marc
“Beauty.” – Branford
“Powerful beauty.” – Quenton
“Adaptability.” – Charles
“Elegance.” – Malik
“Power.” – Romin
“Strong-mindedness.” – David C.
“Beauty.” – Darrin
“Everything.” – Maceo
“The black man. Let me explain: The black woman is at the core of every black man in some way shape or form. A lot of times it’s the black woman who’s teaching the black man how to be a strong and intelligent man in the face of his adversities.” – Chris
There’s only a few, but I hope this makes your day better and that you feel empowered!
“The Black skin is not a badge of shame, but rather a glorious symbol of national greatness. ” – Marcus Garvey.
-T.Renae

On Things I’ve learned about relationships….

From Pinterest, my mother, other relationships, etc

  1. Never EVER, under no circumstances talk bad about your significant other to other people. As far as the rest of the world knows, he is the most awesome person who has ever entered your life, even if he is not. Trust me, it prevents unwanted holes from being in your relationships, especially if you do not create the holes yourself, for other people outside of your relationship to fill. A dear friend of mine said “a relationship consists of two people, keep it like that.”
  2. Going off of that, Haters are going to hate. With that being said, there are always going to be people who are not a “fan” of your relationship, and you will have to deal with the nay-sayers. But so what, who cares if people don’t like or care for your boo, they don’t have to like him/her, you do!
  3. Speak Life into your significant other. Don’t put them down; believe in their dreams, especially if this is a person you foresee yourself being with them for a while. The more life you speak into theirs, the better yours will be.
  4. Don’t let your relationship run your life. It is great you are in a relationship, but you should always be working towards perfecting yourself. Don’t let that relationship be what defines you. Still do you, but do it accompanied with your sweetie.
  5. “How you get her, is how you keep her.” What you did at the beginning of the relationship, you should be able and willing to do throughout the relationship. Like if you’re sending 8 paragraphs good morning pages at the beginning of the relationship, and then you stop suddenly, your partner will be upset! Consistency is key!
  6. Be Spontaneous. Having spontaneity in your relationships creates more laughs, and even more good moments. Per a good friend of mine – sing your lady a song on her voicemail to make her day when you know she’s busy, send him a random letter, etc, because a boring relationship is one that does not last
  7. Communication is Key. Be sure to have and be able to have transparent and adult conversation with your significant other. Also, watch communication with members of the opposite sex. Make sure, your significant other knows that this person stands here in my life, and visa versa. There should be no grey areas here. Also make sure you try to understand where your other person is coming from, and see from their point of view. (*side note: NO ONE is a mind reader, therefore say what you mean, and mean what you say. )
  8. Learn to compromise. This kinda goes with communication, because when you both cannot agree on things, you will have to comprise. Not saying you have to be a push over, but some times you have to let the other person be great. Especially if you are trying to keep this person around in your life.

I hope this helps you in your relationships!! And let me know if you have some tips to add in the comments section!

-T. Renae

What Makes A Girl Beautiful?

“I’d say physical appearance of course is one factor, but I think it goes beyond that. I think it adds to their beauty when they have a fun personality and self-confidence about their own beauty, but not cocky about it. I like to see girls with a classy look rather than a “ratchet” look as well. “ – Justin, 20

“Brain, personality, humor, clothing coordination and of course looks. Personality above everything, though and she has to be relatable to me, of course that would make a girl beautiful to any guy. ” – Calvin, 19

“What makes a girl beautiful to me is the energy she puts out into the world. This energy can be coming by the way she looks, or her humor or her conversation skills. But whatever it is, if it’s uplifting those around her, I consider her beautiful.” – David, 19

“I’ll say definitely personality and the way she carries herself!” – Derrick, 21

“What makes a woman beautiful is a love of self. If a woman loves her self, not to the point of being stuck up, but if she loves herself, I can love her too.” – Chad, 20

“I’m not sure how to answer this to be honest. If I have strong feelings for someone, I automatically think they’re beautiful. I am interested in girls who are smart, and have goals set.” – Jose, 20

“Above anything else: confidence. When a girl is confident in herself no matter what she looks like, that makes her beautiful. “ – Chrispus, 20

“ A girl is beautiful when she can walk in a room, and everyone can talk her and she still knows she is the baddest one in the room. That confidence is what makes a girl beautiful.” – David, 19

“What makes her beautiful is when just the thought of her can create that warm fuzzy feeling inside of me.” – Jon, 20

“What makes a girl beautiful is a plethora of things. It is a combination of her drive, intellect, potential, as well as self confidence to know that she is attractive. A persons attitude can take them from being a 10 all they way down to a 2. Having a pure heart had to be there not matter how you look. If you’re beautiful on the inside, it will come out on the outside. There’s someone for everyone. “ – Ras, 22

“What makes her beautiful her mind, her laughter, the way she walks when she is walking to you or away from you when she is mad. The way she continues to want to be with you no matter your faults. “ – Bruce, 19

“She has to be well-kept, well-spoken, pretty smile, gorgeous eyes, educated, not ratchet, not hood and not an embarrassment in public to be beautiful to me.” – Kam, 26

“Well, physical appearance is a small part, but I feel like after a minute of being with/talking to the girl, you look beyond that. In my opinion what makes a girl beautiful is just how she carries herself and her personality. I can’t tell the exact reason because it’s different for each girl you encounter. “ – Philip, 19

“Physical beauty depends on what an individual likes. Beauty to me, is a girl with a great personality, faith, compassionate, fun, energetic, and trustworthy.” – Seth, 20

“What makes a beautiful is when just the thought of her can create that warm feeling inside,” – Jon, 20

“Everybody knows that, physical attraction is the first thing to be seen when looking at the opposite sex but what most people fail to realize, in my opinion, is that physical attraction is not what makes a young woman beautiful. It is the fact that, that young woman is caring, loyal, kind, trustworthy, respectable, faithful and willing to have her man’s back at all times. The fact that she will fight for what she believes is right, and the fact that she is intelligent and able to hold an intellectual conversation, in my opinion that’s what makes a young woman beautiful.” – Derrick, 20

“To answer what beauty is to me is like to ask me where I am from as a military child. I am from everywhere and to me a women’s beauty is everything.  I see a woman’s outer beauty at first look, its not avoidable in person. To see and love a person’s outer beauty but it is not the make up, the hair, the clothes, or the curves that’s the beauty but the is the light that shines around that person at first sight; its the purity of the heart seen in the eye’s the smile that makes the angelic light grow brighter. The inner beauty resides with the personality that never changes as the person grows into their maturities; their soul is the simplest yet most precious of the inner beauty and should never be taken lightly.  What makes a woman beautiful is not what is what makes the models, not what’s seen in music videos, it is her. Her flaws, her weirdness, her feeling secure enough to admit her insecurities are what make a woman beauty.” – Andrew, 20

What to do when all your friends are “falling in love,” and you’re not,

Last year around this time I was becoming EXTREMELY depressed. It seemed like every one of my friends were going out on dates, and becoming infatuated with some guy and being oh so happy, etc., etc. I was a little on the jealous side… OK fine, I was a lot of the jealous side! But here’s what I did to overcome these feelings.

  1. GET BUSY. It doesn’t matter what you get busy doing, just do something. There is no worse feeling than on a Friday night, and you’re sitting there looking at a wall. Invest in Netflix and binge watch at least 6 shows, take up a new hobby (I took up making waist beads, and anklets), explore your local city, rediscover your library, just do something!
  2. Speaking of library, READ SOME BOOKS. More specifically read some women empowerment books! Here’s some: Power of the Pussy (part 1 and 2) by Kara King, Lady in Waiting by Jackie Kendall and Debby Jones, Mrs. Right by Tony A Gaskins Jr, Gentlewoman by Enitan O Bereola II (if you need more empowerment books email me at taneshajohnson@icloud.com)
  3. REVIST YOUR “CHECKLIST.” What I did personally was made a list of priorities vs. preferences. Priorities – are things that your man should not without. For example, one of my priorities on my life, is he has to know Christ, and have a relationship with God, while a preference is that he has huge muscles. See the difference? This will help you determine what really matters in a relationship, and recognize what really matters.
  4. FOCUS ON OTHER FRIENDSHIPS. Don’t cut off your friends who in the relationships. I mean sure, they now have an extra person in their circle, that does not mean you have been kicked out of their circle. It has just been a little expanded. You could also try to go out on group outings, inviting singles and couples. You could also just find other people in your “outer circle” to hang out with as well if you don’t want to be third-wheeling it.

Keep It Classy,

T. Renae

I wonder.

So yeah. Here’s another poem by me, I haven’t had much time to be writing with school, but here you go. Please be gentle with criticism. Enjoy. I’m thinking about combining this piece and my previous piece on here to make a spoken word piece. We will see 🙂

I wonder what it would be like if I didn’t see forever in his eyes, or if his lips didn’t taste like the sweetest substance on earth. If he’s body was not milk chocolate, smooth and desirable or if I didn’t want to shed my flesh, just to be closer to him.

I’d imagine when he kissed me it would like the world was crumbling around me, in a beautiful yet earth shattering way. Where we were the last people on earth and our love was the only thing we could survive on. And we were savages longing to survive. Taking it all in way too fast, and enjoying it way too much. Where we couldn’t find any other emotion but love, overwhelming and life altering love.

Then he would tell me that he wanted to memorize every curve on my body, like his it was favorite song, as we lay in the bed of eternity. The bed like a black hole of forever lined with silk sheets the color of heaven, that neither of us had the strength nor desire to attempt to escape.

His body would be a never ending meadow of flowers that I just want to curl up in, and never leave. And every time I would visit there would be something new to discover. Touching him would be like picking daisies in the springtime, just mindless and gentle. Being sure to savor each one before picking the next one, no different than the last.

I was just thinking about how much I loved him, and how his soul and mine intertwined, like little kid shoestrings just in a knot of twists and angles. Not in any form or fashion, just one overlapping the other. Would anyone be able to tell where my soul ends, and his begin? I don’t even know his name or what his voice sounds like when his lips say mine. Maybe in my dreams he and I will meet again.

Thanks for Reading,

T.Renae

Trust God

1 Peter 5:7 – New Living Translation (NLT) – “Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.”

Trusting God. There are two options that God could do.

1. God will come through in the situation, like He always does.

or

2. God is going to disprove Himself.

 

Me personally, I have never seen God do option number 2. This is the greatest news, EVER. I apply this to every situation, because God always comes through for you, as long as you believe in Jesus Christ.

Who has the power in the relationship?

The big question most people wonder is “Who really has the power in relationships, men or women?” When you start dating who do you believe has the power? To paraphrase a popular saying, The Man is the Head but the Woman is the Neck, who can turn the Head anyway it Wants (taken from My Big Fat Greek Wedding). Is this still true today? With times changing and the dating scene changing every day; is this still true?

In today’s generation some define, women perception of power by their sexuality. The power of women range way beyond that! Once a woman has sexual relations with their partner then technically they have given away the power. Women who truly respect themselves and their partner will have power in the relationship if they use it correctly and can influence every situation. Some women believe they are more dominant because they can use sex to control men, since that is one of their weak spots. On the other hand once a women has sexual relations with a man their opening that emotional connection which takes us off our game and give the control to the man. Men are hunters by nature so they really like the chase (can’t say that enough!)

As women we were built to be strong, emotional, and confident but all girls aren’t aware of their total worth. When women show men their weakness they hand over their power. Men are smart in sensing women’s insecurities and running with it! Men are less afraid to play mind games. Some men feed off women’s insecurities, since women are usually the ones who need more consolation and attention. Men will use these insecurities to get away with their antics. Know that your personality type can also have an effect on who holds the power in the relationship. In my opinion men only have the power once you give it to them because we have all the assets to influence and possible control all situations in the relationship.

Women also have to allow the man to think he has the power (KEY WORD THINK) because he has to feel like he’s the man! You can never kill his ego! When you’re dating the power dynamics are totally different then when you’re married. Once you find a man who truly loves you but most of all loves God, you don’t really have to worry about control. You will live each day to please God and thriving to enjoy each other’s life so control won’t really matter but until that happens keep your purse closed and you will be in control!

-A.Rochell