2015 Reflections

As 2016 has just started, I’ve given myself a few days to really reflect on the past year and figure out what I’ve learned, what I’ll do differently and what must change for this new year. I’ve learned so much and I just want to share my reflection as a means to inspire you to reflect over your past year as well.

I deserve better. I’ve put up with a lot of things that I shouldn’t have in 2015 with my friends. For me, it’s especially hard for me to voice my opinions or feelings because of fear of hurting someone else’s feelings. There’s no reason why I put up with as much as I did, and this year I am looking forward to standing up more for myself and not allowing myself to be treated any kind of way.

Along with this, I’ve found that you are your biggest support has to come from within. No one is going to support you, like you. Even if you support everyone and their momma’s businesses, startups, and ideas – it won’t be reciprocated. I don’t know why I expect the support and love I pour out into people to be returned but quite frankly it probably won’t ever be. And that’s okay.

I need to take more time to work on myself, pamper myself and love myself unapologetically. Sometimes I give too much to other people, and not enough to myself. In 2016, I plan on giving the same amount to myself, as I give others. Also, just work on loving myself flaws and all – no one is perfect and I shouldn’t expect to be either. Sometimes I feel like I hold myself to this unobtainable standard of living and how I live. I have to learn that the standard in my head isn’t the end all to myself. It’s okay to mess up sometimes.

With that being said, I’ve also learned how strong I am as a person – not physically, but emotionally and mentally. I can handle almost anything anyone throws at me. This year has been the year of challenges. With the pursuit of graduate school, and applying for everything humanly possible (scholarships, trips, diversity weekends, etc). I can do pretty much anything I put my mind to and I need to walk in that truth.

I think those are the main takeaways from 2015 for me. What were you major lessons in 2015 – Share them below in the comments!

Keep It Classy,

– T. Renae

Gratitude Challenge: Week 5

“Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things. ” – Robert Brault

First of all congratulations on almost completing this month’s challenge! This is the last week so to end the month, spend time reflecting on the spirit of gratitude. Even if you only were grateful for the little things. Think about the things in your gratitude journal that you were consistently thankful for. Also, try to continue this challenges once the month is over. A little gratitude goes a long way.

What are you thankful for?

– Ladies & Co. 

Gratitude Challenge: Week 4

“The root of joy is gratefulness… It is not joy that makes us grateful; it is gratitude that makes us joyful. ” – David Steindl-Rast

Happy week 4! This week’s challenge is to write someone a thoughtful thank you letter. This is challenge could be for Thanksgiving Day, if you are going out to dinner or going to be in contact with anyone write them a thank you letter for working on the holiday of thankfulness. You could also write a thank you letter to a family member, I guarantee it will make their entire week.

Keep It Classy,

– Ladies & Company

Gratitude Challenge: Week 3

“Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never ever have enough.” – Oprah Winfrey

Happy week 3! This week’s challenge is to pay it forward to someone you don’t know. It could be something as simple as giving someone ten dollars that is homeless so they can get their next meal or as much as purchasing groceries for a mother with a child while in the store. Whatever you do pay it forward, and just ask them to pay it forward as well and then we will have a domino effect of acts of kindness spreading around your area.

Keep it Classy,

Ladies and Company

Dear In Love or Nah,

Hola #AskTheLadies, i think I am still in love with this guy, but y’know I’m unsure because we don’t talk like we used to, partly because he’s also dealing with another girl. He hasn’t put titles on either of our relationships. We had issues and I could no longer cope with his lies. I’ve told him if he wants to talk to her, he should leave me alone. The problem is he doesn’t want to . Well I didn’t give him a choice, and I left, though I was extremely upset that it couldn’t just be the 2 of us. We didn’t talk for over a month BUT he kept persisting. Calling me, texting me, facetiming me and so on. I’ve discovered that this other girl is still in the picture. I don’t understand why he wants to have me around  when he has her. I just need help figuring out whether my strong feelings for him are love? or am i attached because of the chemistry we had? -In Love or Nahh
Dear In Love or Nah,
You will always have some form of love, bond, or connection with someone that you have spent a lot of time with. However, you can’t force someone to be with you or want to talk to you. He is his own person and makes his own decisions. You were right for leaving him and not speaking to him because he was entertaining someone else. Even though it may hurt to see him with this other girl, just try to focus on yourself and moving forward in your life. I’m sure you probably gave him a lot of yourself but being stuck on him can possibly leave you to miss out on another guy, who respects, love, and adores you. Most importantly a guy that, cares about you enough not to entertain other women. You may still have love because as a woman we tend to love hard and become really emotionally attached, but you are probably not in love anymore with him.
Stay Strong,
Mion Edwards

Gratitude Challenge: Week 2

“Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it. ” – William Arthur Ward

Happy week 2! This week’s challenge is to go out of your way to express your gratitude to people. If a young man holds the door for you, try saying “thank you so much for taking the time to the door for me!” Not only will it make the person feel good, it will also make you feel good for doing a kind gesture. You never know how much your gratefulness will impact that person. Try to express your gratitude to at least 3 people per day!

What are you thankful for?

Ladies & Company

Gratitude Challenge: Week 1

“Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn’t learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn’t learn a little, at least we didn’t get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn’t die; so, let us all be thankful.” -Buddha

To begin our month of November Challenge of Gratitude, we shared a quote from Buddha. This week we challenge you to be more grateful in your heart and if you want to take it a step further, start a gratitude journal. Every day, write down at least one thing that you are grateful for – starting today, November 1!

Dear To Swirl or Not,

Bonjour Ladies & Company. Me and my beau have been together for about a year. He’s a really good guy and we want to commit. The problem is my family. They don’t approve because he isn’t Black. They have always been very proud of their heritage. Should I accept his proposal or not. I’m so confused. – To Swirl Or Not

Dear To Swirl or Not,
Love has no color, shape or size! Times have changed and we are all free to express our love freely with whoever we want too. If a man loves you and treats you right you should definitely accept the proposal because these days a good man is hard to find. If you family loves you at the end of the day they probably just want to see you happy. They might not approve at first and may even push away for some time but I’m sure they’ll definitely come around. Sometimes families or individuals can be stuck in the past but love conquers all. Your family may not be open to interracial dating but once they see how this man values their daughter, they will have to open their minds to change. Love has no racial identity and I’m a big supporter of interracial relationships. At the end of the day I’d pray on it because God has the final say so! I can understand the difficult in this situation because you don’t want to have to choose between love and family. Family does mean a lot to me and their opinion would matter a great deal but if that’s the man God sent to you, it’ll all work out in due time and God will change the hearts of your family to be more open minded.

Open to Love,

Arielle Rochell 

3 Steps to Building Confidence

Do you feel like you are confident? When asked this question most people either say a solid “yes” or “I’m not really sure”. When reflecting on my freshmen year at Hampton University I thought about what really helped me to succeed and thrive while I was there. What helped me the most at Hampton was being “confident in my abilities and myself”. Confidence is knowing who you are on the inside and not being afraid to express and share your talents and ambitions with others. To me, confidence does not mean simply “popping out” every Friday at 12-2, even though those days are fun too. I compiled a list of things you have to truly understand to feel and be more confident.

  1. Your Mindset

Your mindset has to be aligned with the goals you wish to achieve. Having a positive mindset is key to building confidence. Speaking what you want to accomplish into existence pushes you to your goals. The law of attraction is real. If you put positive energy into anything you’re doing, a positive outcome is bound to happen. It does not always happen as quickly as you want it but having faith brings you a step closer to reaching your goals. Lastly, it is best you put your faith in something. If you believe in God trust in Him and His specific path for you. If you believe in the universe believe that it will give you what you dream and think the most about.

  1. Stepping out your “Comfort zone”

Stepping out your comfort zone has to be the hardest step, for most people. Why? Because most people don’t want to be embarrassed, isolated, or talked about negatively. Think, about it this way everyone has to start somewhere. President William R. Harvey did not just wake up and become Hampton University’s president for 37 years. He had to work hard, grind and have obstacles along the way. To get to the places that you want to go, you have to put yourself out there. Talk to people on campus you have been watching. Make them your mentor, especially if they are doing what you see yourself wanting to do in the future. Join clubs that will help you grow and challenge you. Taking yourself out of your comfort zone is never supposed to be a bad experience. It enlightens you and you learn from every situation. For example, annually Hampton University’s freshmen class runs an event called Battle of the States aka BOTS, a showcase of talent from each region. I cannot sing, I am neither a trained dancer nor a professional model. However, I knew 1. I could walk in heels which was half the battle and 2. That I wanted this to be a part of my college experience. From BOTS, I gained the ability to have a stage presence and be confident while in it.

  1. Stay in your “own” lane

Building confidence in yourself is your journey to make and no one else’s. You have to be willing to condition yourself and trying to become a better you every day. “What is meant for you will be for you”. Telling yourself this every day is essential. If you are in a competitive major such as journalism or business administration. You often here “everyone in here is your competition” and “you have to be better than the next man.” Instead of taking this to heart, use it as a catalyst to push you. But, to motivate you be glad in the fact that nobody can do things like you. Knowing that you are equipped and bring a different skill set and background, will build your confidence. Being unique is an advantage because we all have our individual paths to take.

Building confidence is not always easy, but it can be made easier by following these steps. In the end, being let down or disappointment can bruise your ego. It is going to happen because it happens to everyone. But don’t let it take away your confidence.

With Love,

-Mion E.

Dear Wanting to Know,

Hola friends, I have a general question, just to get your opinions, and feedback on. How many sex partners it too many for a female? Or even a male? – Wanting to Know

Dear Wanting to Know,

At one time probably two because then it gets a little messy and then spreading diseases may occur and it’s just not a good idea in my opinion. How many is too many over a lifetime? I would say you have to use your discretion. For males and females think about what kind of person you want to be perceived as, when you feel as though you are becoming a person you don’t want to be then it’s probably a good idea to stop and reevaluate your actions.
Peace Love and Harmony,
Averi Simone