“Trust yourself. Think for yourself. Act for yourself. Speak for yourself. Be yourself. Imitation is suicide.”
– Marva Collins
I am a firm believe that our minds and bodies will tell you everything you need to know about yourself. Whenever I am getting extremely stressed out, nothing makes sense. I struggle to do even the simplest of tasks. I even start to panic about things that are not that serious. Normally, these are the signs for me that I need to take a break from everything and recollect myself. There are signs that your body gives you too – maybe reacting to things negatively, becoming pessimistic, or even becoming sickly.
You are so strong, but you deserve (and need) a break sometimes. Take time this week to unplug yourself from the world. Focus on clearing your mind and taking a break. Go to a coffee shop and read your favorite book for a few hours with your phone off. Go to the beach and listen to the water. Spend your entire day in bed if you want to. But take that break, you deserve it.
Unlearn the feeling that you have to always be in competition with whoever/whatever to feel validated or worthy. You are more than capable of everything that you want to do. You don’t have to be in competition to be worthy. You have to stop focusing on this imaginary competition, or else you will drive yourself crazy. You can’t focus on what someone else is doing, and still, be great at what you are doing. You also should unlearn the thought that someone’s poor capability to love you is in no way a reflection of yourself. You are a beautiful person and deserving of the love that you so freely give away. First, give some love to yourself, and then wait for someone who knows how to love you properly.
Yo Ladies & Co, I recently started dating a girl and we celebrated our three month anniversary on December 2nd (this is my first real serious relationship, so bare with me). We’ve been talking way before that, though maybe for around 6 months. I really do like her, maybe almost love. I just have no idea how to tell my mom and my family. I’m afraid of their reaction, you know. My family and I have gone through some things where I couldn’t always talk to them. And my girl hasn’t pushed me to tell them either, she understands what I’m going through. I’ve met her family already, and they all love me. I’m starting college next week, and on Sunday, I move into my dorm. I don’t know if I should tell my mom before or after. My mom knows we’re friends, she just doesn’t know the extent of our friendship. I’d really like to tell my mother because I play soccer, and I’d love for them both to be at my games cheering me on. Please help. – In the dark, tryna get out.
Dear In the dark, tryna get out,
First let me applaud you for seeking our advice! I know this was a hard decision to share your thoughts on such a sensitive subject. Secondly, you should be open and honest about your relationship with your girl. She may not have said anything however, you better believe it has crossed her mind. Absolutely no woman want their relationship with their special guy to be a secret. Thirdly, your letter left me curious as to why you haven’t disclosed this information to your parents. What’s making this decision hard for you? I understand your relationship with them have been rocky, however, they should be elated that you have found someone that makes you happy. I understand every parent wants the best for their children including a great education, however, I think they would be genuinely happy for you.
So in essence, telling your parents may be the healthy choice. It would definitely shed some light on your relationship with them. If it was me, I would definitely tell my parents.
Keep It Classy,
– T. Renae
“Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things. ” – Robert Brault
First of all congratulations on almost completing this month’s challenge! This is the last week so to end the month, spend time reflecting on the spirit of gratitude. Even if you only were grateful for the little things. Think about the things in your gratitude journal that you were consistently thankful for. Also, try to continue this challenges once the month is over. A little gratitude goes a long way.
What are you thankful for?
– Ladies & Co.
“Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it. ” – William Arthur Ward
Happy week 2! This week’s challenge is to go out of your way to express your gratitude to people. If a young man holds the door for you, try saying “thank you so much for taking the time to the door for me!” Not only will it make the person feel good, it will also make you feel good for doing a kind gesture. You never know how much your gratefulness will impact that person. Try to express your gratitude to at least 3 people per day!
What are you thankful for?
– Ladies & Company
“Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn’t learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn’t learn a little, at least we didn’t get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn’t die; so, let us all be thankful.” -Buddha
To begin our month of November Challenge of Gratitude, we shared a quote from Buddha. This week we challenge you to be more grateful in your heart and if you want to take it a step further, start a gratitude journal. Every day, write down at least one thing that you are grateful for – starting today, November 1!
Do you feel like you are confident? When asked this question most people either say a solid “yes” or “I’m not really sure”. When reflecting on my freshmen year at Hampton University I thought about what really helped me to succeed and thrive while I was there. What helped me the most at Hampton was being “confident in my abilities and myself”. Confidence is knowing who you are on the inside and not being afraid to express and share your talents and ambitions with others. To me, confidence does not mean simply “popping out” every Friday at 12-2, even though those days are fun too. I compiled a list of things you have to truly understand to feel and be more confident.
- Your Mindset
Your mindset has to be aligned with the goals you wish to achieve. Having a positive mindset is key to building confidence. Speaking what you want to accomplish into existence pushes you to your goals. The law of attraction is real. If you put positive energy into anything you’re doing, a positive outcome is bound to happen. It does not always happen as quickly as you want it but having faith brings you a step closer to reaching your goals. Lastly, it is best you put your faith in something. If you believe in God trust in Him and His specific path for you. If you believe in the universe believe that it will give you what you dream and think the most about.
- Stepping out your “Comfort zone”
Stepping out your comfort zone has to be the hardest step, for most people. Why? Because most people don’t want to be embarrassed, isolated, or talked about negatively. Think, about it this way everyone has to start somewhere. President William R. Harvey did not just wake up and become Hampton University’s president for 37 years. He had to work hard, grind and have obstacles along the way. To get to the places that you want to go, you have to put yourself out there. Talk to people on campus you have been watching. Make them your mentor, especially if they are doing what you see yourself wanting to do in the future. Join clubs that will help you grow and challenge you. Taking yourself out of your comfort zone is never supposed to be a bad experience. It enlightens you and you learn from every situation. For example, annually Hampton University’s freshmen class runs an event called Battle of the States aka BOTS, a showcase of talent from each region. I cannot sing, I am neither a trained dancer nor a professional model. However, I knew 1. I could walk in heels which was half the battle and 2. That I wanted this to be a part of my college experience. From BOTS, I gained the ability to have a stage presence and be confident while in it.
- Stay in your “own” lane
Building confidence in yourself is your journey to make and no one else’s. You have to be willing to condition yourself and trying to become a better you every day. “What is meant for you will be for you”. Telling yourself this every day is essential. If you are in a competitive major such as journalism or business administration. You often here “everyone in here is your competition” and “you have to be better than the next man.” Instead of taking this to heart, use it as a catalyst to push you. But, to motivate you be glad in the fact that nobody can do things like you. Knowing that you are equipped and bring a different skill set and background, will build your confidence. Being unique is an advantage because we all have our individual paths to take.
Building confidence is not always easy, but it can be made easier by following these steps. In the end, being let down or disappointment can bruise your ego. It is going to happen because it happens to everyone. But don’t let it take away your confidence.
So last week, I posted “I am a man who appreciates a woman who…” and I thought, maybe the guys need some love too. So I decided I would do a sort of “rebuttal,” from the the ladies to show that men are also appreciated. So I asked some of my girl friends to complete the sentence, “I am a woman who appreciates a man who….”
- “I am a woman who appreciates a man who has ambition and goes after what he wants. ” – Starr
- “I am a woman who appreciates a man who knows exactly what to do before I have to ask/say it and Prays, loves hard, does the little things. ” – Leah
- “I am a woman who appreciates a man who loves me the same way I love him, appreciates me and prays for and with me. ” – JaKeya
- “I am a woman who appreciates a man who puts God first, Can support me in all endeavors and loves me for me. ” – Jasmin
- “I am a woman who appreciates a man who i can pray with. ” – Mykea
- “I am a woman who appreciates a man who has a continual relationship with God and knows Jesus Christ is his Lord and Savior and Who is ambitious, supporting of my goals, caring, respectful, family oriented and plans to build a family together. ” – Keirsten
- “I am a woman who appreciates a man who submits to God. ” – Maya
- “I’m a woman who appreciates a man who admires me for my intelligence & personality rather than my looks.” – Morgan
- “I am a woman who appreciates a man who appreciates the value of a good woman, who loves and respects his mother, who is led by God and follows God because if he doesn’t follow God how could I follow him, and who pushes me to higher heights as I help him through his journey. ” – Arielle
- “I am a woman who appreciates a man who knows himself through his relationship with God, who respects me and loves me the same if not more than I love him and who will pray and lead our household with me beside him. ” – Averi
- “I am a woman who appreciates a man who follows God’s lead in treating me like the queen I am and who is obedient to the call God has placed over his life and respects the call that God has placed over my life.” -Heather
- “I am a woman who appreciates a man who still believes in Chivalry, is a God fearing man, grow and learn with, and who will stick with me through the tough times as well as the amazing times and a man who knows the true meaning of love. ” – Dominique
- “I am a woman who appreciates a man who caters to my needs. ” – My mother.
- “I’m a woman who appreciates a man who humbles himself before God. ” – Cutina
- “I’m a woman who appreciates a man who is just as ambitious as I am.” – Tay-Lor
Keep It Classy,
Hi Ladies and Company, I just wanted to know ya’ll opinion. Is the saying “there’s someone for everyone,” really true? Is it really a perfect relationship partner out there in the world for everyone? Or is that just something ya’ll have forced yourself to believe? – Someone’s Everything
Dear Someone’s Everything,
As a Christian, I was raised to believe that God has a divine plan for everyone. For some, God may have a perfect partner and for others He might have some other plan outlined for you. Whether you are a Believer or not, I have found it to be true that you shouldn’t force life to do what you want it to do, whether that means with your relationship, friends, work or anything at all. We often have this tendency as women to fantasize and romanticize our futures, which is fine until we limit ourselves to our dream plans. Looking for the “perfect partner” will lead you to disappointment because trust me, no one is perfect. Is there someone for everyone? Maybe, but take my advice: focus on yourself first. Live life and enjoy every second of it without worrying about adding another person into your mix. One of my favorite quotes is “what is for you, will not pass you.” So do not be distracted by what you think is passing you or what you think you might be missing out on. Enjoy where you are and who you are with because each moment is a precious gift that shouldn’t be taken for granted.
Nothing But Love,