Dear Age Aint Nothing But A Number

Hello Ladies and Company, So recently I started dating this guy. He’s super amazing, but the only problem is he’s 26, and I’m 19. Do you think that my age will become an issue with him? Or friends and family? – Age Aint Nothing But A Number?

Hey, Age Aint Nothing But A Number! Well, I will tell you like my dad told me, “You can’t have friends or date 3 years older than you, or two years younger than you.” He then went on to explain the reason. He explained how he used to hang out with people five years older than him and he missed out on a lot of experiences that kids his age were supposed to have.

Right now it is probably fun and exciting to date an older guy, however because you are 19 and he 26 you both are in different places in your lives. He is most likely working on his career and you are trying to have fun while in college. You are probably going to get tired of him not having time for you and he being upset that you “play too much.” I’m not telling you to break up with him, but I want you to be aware of the things that may happen later down the road.

Peace, Love & Harmony,

Averi Simone

Advertisements

“Be the Example That You Needed Growing Up,”

So the other day I see this IG post from @YesIAmBella.

Screen Shot 2015-08-24 at 8.05.54 PM

Sometimes you have to take a step back and evaluate what you are doing with your life. Think about how frustrated you were growing up when you searched for role models that looked like you or behaved similarly to you or had similar goals. Think about how much easier your life would’ve had the role model. Somewhere out there is a little girl EXACTLY like you, wanting the same things as you do. She deserves a role model just like you. We often come up with excuses of why we didn’t do certain things with your life or why you didn’t do take this life path.  We didn’t have the right resources or didn’t learn enough. We can’t let those excuses weigh us down from our purpose. Keep walking and living in your purpose, because you never know who is watching you, or admiring you from afar.

Be encouraged and keep it classy,

T.Renae

Dear Best friends or more,

So hi Ladies and Company, I just graduated [from high school]. And there’s this guy and he has been my boy best friend the whole way through my senior year of high school. He was talking to my friend and having sex with her. But he didn’t want a relationship with her. She thought that she could keep him that way, you know with sex. And me and him being “best friends,” we workout together, go bike riding together, talk on the phone for hours and are always there for each other. I like him a lot but considering the fact that he was kinda with my friend, i dont know. My feelings don’t have an on and off switch. Am I wrong for wanting to be with him, since I’m pretty sure he likes me back but he’s been with my friend? – Best friends or more.

Hi sweetie,

I don’t think that your feelings are wrong, but I would not act on these feelings, for numerous reasons. The first reason is because this is your friend, your boy best friend. You don’t want to jeopardize/ruin your friendship over these feelings, that may or may not be reciprocated. The second reason is because even though they (your boy best friend and your friend) aren’t in a committed relationship, they are still engaging “activities,” which could potentially grow into a relationship (It also could not – we never know with these things). Even though he says doesn’t want to have a relationship with the friend, he’s already smashing. As a woman, and young lady you really only have two options: (1) approach your friend and tell her how you feel and ask her to back off, or (2) tell her how you feel about the best friend and tell her you want her to be happy so you are backing off.

If it was me, honestly I would pull a Frozen and just let it go. You just graduated high school, and there will be plenty more (better) fish in the sea for you!

Keep It Classy, 

T.Renae

Relationship Goals – Nah, Self Goals

Every week or so, I see a new picture of some couple doing something average (on the rare occasion, something extraordinary), with the caption “#RelationshipGoals.” Now I am not knocking relationships, or these relationships goals, but wouldn’t it be awesome if some of these people who are doing these relationship goals, also advocated for self-goals? What do you want to accomplish and take a bomb picture of? You shouldn’t have to wait until you are in a relationship to go swimming in an ocean, or skydiving, or going out to a fancy restaurant. So I encourage everyone who reads this blog to indulge in some “Self Goals.” Think about every Relationship Goal You have/had and write it down. Kinda like a bucket list, but you’re nowhere close to dying, but a step closer to living life to the fullest.

Here are some items on my “Self Goals” list!
Donate blood 
Pull an all-nighter
Organize a day of free hugs on campus 
Weekend road trip somewhere wild
Go vegan/vegetarian for a week 
Go to a school play 
Learn to play piano
Go to the beach and study!
Learn to solve a Rubix cube
Workout every day for 100 days. 
Meditate for 10 minutes for 100 days 
Go technology-free for a week. 
Go to a midnight premiere of a movie (Probably going to be Hunger Games’ Mockingjay Part 2!)
Get belly button pierced 
Carved initials into tree 
It’s only right that you document your “Self-Goals” with Instagram pictures!
 IMG_5048
So I went on a Weekend Excursion (my boyfriend, just so happened to go). But we went to a Music Festival and then stayed the weekend in a new town!
What are some of yourself Goals? Share them in the comments and I’ll add some to my list, and hopefully you can add some to yours!
Keep It Classy,
T.Renae

Advice Column: Relaunch #AskTheLadies.

Hello, lovely followers of Ladies and Co., We are officially relaunching our Advice Column portion of the blog. We have renamed it #AskTheLadies

So the authors that will be participating in the advice column portion are all women in the pursuit of their college degrees mostly in psychology and communications.

The Advice column is geared towards 13-year-olds – 26-year-olds, men or women, especially those of color.

The advice column will mainly focus on questions about love, college, relationships, and everyday life! The response to a weekly question will be on every Tuesday Mornings!

If you would like to submit a question – click this link. You can ask a question through Ask.fm, and we will respond to it on the blog. We will also let you know on Ask.Fm when it has been responded to!

Be sure to submit your questions today!

XOXO

– Ladies & Co.

Words [of] Encouragement Wednesday: 7/22

“Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway.” – Earl Nightingale

Mr. Nightingale said it best ‘the time will pass anyways.’ Think about it, no matter if you run furiously towards your dreams and goals, or if you just sit by idly waiting for your dreams and goals to just magically be accomplished, the time will move. I think the best and most productive use of your time would be to keep striving towards your goals. No matter how grand or impossible-seeming your goal maybe, you can do it! Just focus, and work towards it! Stay Encouraged.

-Ladies & Co. 

Love Yourself Challenge: Week 7

Week 7: Positive Vibes Only

Woooohooo! We have made it to our 7th week into our Unapologetically Loving Yourself Like A Queen Challenge! I am so proud of your for sticking this out with us! Today (and the rest of the week), do not participate in ANY negative talk, about anything, and especially not yourself. Continue to think and say positive things all day, and if you slip up, correct yourself. If you mess up on something, say something like “It’s okay, I will do better next time,” or if your co-worker is complaining, tell them that “Sometimes life is hard, but there’s no need for us to be hard on ourselves.”

Share Your Experience With Us in the Comments!

– Ladies and Company


Image Source

Love Yourself Challenge Week 6: Self-Reflection

So this week’s love yourself challenge was to do some self-reflection. I’m sure we’ve all seen and read blogs about self-reflection, so I took a personal spin to the topic. This summer I’ve grown closer in my walk with God which has led resulted in major moments of reflecting. I believe when you allow God to be the lead and guide your steps, HE allows self-reflecting to manifest. When rely and depend on God you gain a clearer outlook on yourself, others and where your journey in life. When focusing on your relationship with God, you gain joy, peace, love, patience, forgiveness and understanding not only for others but for yourself as well. He allows you to become more aware of HIS plan for your life. God truly allows you to see yourself for who you are, where you are and where you are going.

Life changes aren’t always easy and sometimes growing in God and yourself is difficult as it will reveal some tough truths about yourself you aren’t necessarily ready to face or conquer. Reflecting with God on yourself, allows you to eventually forgive those who have wrong you and forgive yourself for tolerating their idiocy which lead to change and growth. For what does not change, does not grow. During this time of reflection, you will experience tears, heartaches and pain but it’s totally worth it in the end. The growth the people will see as a result from the changes you’ve made will continue to push you to higher heights.

How did you self-reflect this week? Share below in the comments section!

– A. Rochell

Like a Virgin

Disclaimer: This article is not to condemn anyone’s sexual habits. It is also not intended to force my views and beliefs on others. I just want to share my thoughts and experiences on the matter.

These days, sexual freedom is being embraced more than ever. People can talk more freely about it, there is less shame associated with having sex and we’ve finally gotten over using weird terminology to disguise words related to sex. However, the idea of a virgin is laughed off, people either don’t believe in the existence or conclude the person in question must have something seriously wrong with them to have waited this long. Recently, Russel Wilson (quarterback for the Seattle Seahawks) got very real about how in his relationship with gorgeous pop star Ciara, they have decided to abstain from sex. He stated beautifully ““Yeah, we’re talking about sex… Can we love each other without [sex]? If you can really love someone without [sex] then you can really love somebody… I ain’t gonna lie to y’all now. I need y’all to pray for us…Pray for me, keep my mind clear, keep my heart clear.” The backlash and jokes didn’t surprise me, but they started to make me feel like I had some things to share because I am still a virgin and also abstain from sex.

Screen Shot 2015-07-12 at 4.37.54 PM

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

I can honestly say that I have no problems or objects with the trend of sexual freedom that we see today. Just because I’m saving my first time until my wedding night doesn’t mean that I look down my nose at the sexual habits of others or condemn my friends to hell. Personally, I think that with sexual freedom and people caring less about who’s doing what with whom for whatever reasons, we can get rid of all of the terrible slut-shaming and bullying that has plagued girls for years. If you wish to have sex, do it freely, (but also do it smartly). But the same way girls are demanding to be respected for their sexual choices, I would like to be respected for my choices to abstain from sex. As a virgin in 2015, people often speculate about what I am, or am not doing, because they just see it as “impossible” that I choose to ignore and control my responses to my hormones loud demands. I don’t appreciate being stripped down to a simple sexual being. I enjoy practicing self-control in my relationships, and I feel that what I do with my private lady parts should be not for anyone’s’ discussion or speculation. Being targeted for jokes or made uncomfortable because of my virginity has been a part of my life since reaching puberty and frankly I’m sick of it. Sexual freedom should apply to all: the virgins and the veterans.

 Screen Shot 2015-07-12 at 4.53.55 PM

Temptations

Now, I do have a boyfriend who is also a virgin and has promised to save himself for marriage as well. And what’s it like for us to stay pure? Temptations are wild and very real. And temptation coupled with curiosity and hormones make it a daily struggle to keep our hands where they belong. But, I truly believe that it will be rewarding. The bond that we have formed completely transcends sexual attraction. Every time we work together to help ourselves resist temptation and spend yet another night simply in each other’s arms talking about life, it’s like reaching a new level in our relationship. And it feels amazing. I think being open with each other, expressing our expectations clearly communicating limitations are what keeps us grounded and sticking to our promise.

Pussy Power

Screen Shot 2015-07-12 at 4.40.02 PM

To be honest, I’m happy to have reached a place where I can care less about what people think of my sexual habits (or lack thereof lol). There’s honestly nothing you can do or say to convince me that I NEED to have sex without a diamond ring on my finger and the commitment of a lifetime with my husband. While being a virgin may be looked down upon, or you may not even believe that I chose to remain pure, I am happy for the decisions I make. I see my virginity as something that shouldn’t be “given away” but instead, something that should be shared in the most special way possible. There’s no rush to “get rid of” my virginity because, to me, it’s not some curse I was burdened with. It’s a gift and a special power that I hold within me. Just think of the “pussy power” (excuse the language) that women hold. Whole wars were fought over pussy, so to speak; so don’t ever let someone convince you that you “owe” your virginity to them. No matter how much time or money someone spends on you, it does not require you to return with a sexual favor. As cliché as it sounds, the right person for you, who will treasure and value the gift of your virginity, will not be solely interested in you for your body and will not use sex as a bartering tool.

Screen Shot 2015-07-12 at 4.40.21 PM

This part is written to the virgins that may or may not still be out there reading this, or to those who have decided to become celibate (saving sex until marriage although you may have already lost your virginity). The best way to combat the temptations, gossip, questions, teasing and other challenges that come along is to remember exactly why you’re doing what you’re doing, because in a moment of heat, all logical thinking and reasoning can fly out of the window. If you have to, write down your reasoning, expectations and stipulations in a place where you could easily find or look often. When the temptations, gossip, teasing, questions and other challenges come, you will be able to read the notes that you wrote to yourself and maybe renew your strengths. Like most other things in life, you’re the only one who can decide what is right for you. So if you’re deciding to not have sex, then stand firm in your decision.

Screen Shot 2015-07-12 at 4.40.37 PM
– Aliah W.