Happy Anniversary Mom & Dad!

Today is my parent’s 25th anniversary of marriage!

My parents are like real life relationship goals for me. They’re married, have kids, have great careers and traveling the world – what more can you ask for !? Growing up in this house full of love, I’ve learned a few things about life, love, and marriage. I’ve decided to share the top 3 love lessons (that I have learned) with you all.

  1. Love is a decision. After the feeling is long and gone, and you have to DECIDE to love one another. It’s not always pretty and cute and fun, sometimes it is hard and rough-looking. Every day for the rest of your life you have to decide to love your significant other, choose who you will love wisely.
  2. Love (and marriage) is friendship amplified.You have to be friends. When my parents first met, they didn’t like each other (you have to get them to tell you the story), but now they are the best of friends. Friends fuss and fight, but at the end of the day, they are still there for each other when they are going through hard times. Also with true friendships (and marriage) you can depend on one another.
  3.  Love is patient. Your spouse or significant other is not going to be perfect (and neither are you for that matter). People make mistakes and unintentionally hurt each other, You have to be patient enough to realize “hey, my significant other is still growing up and maturing, so mistakes and unintentional hurts may happen.” I see so many folks out here that want a spouse that’s already established making 100K a year, flying them out to XYZ, etc.  But those same people aren’t willing to build with a person, so that they can get those things together.

Here’s a cute video tribute of my parents. 🙂 They’re super adorable!

I hope one day to have as happy of a marriage as they have.

Peace and Blessings to them.

– Tanesha

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Monday Thoughts: Give Back.

Over the weekend, my mother and I volunteered with the Hashtag Lunchbag Initiative and it was so rewarding. According to their  website, Hashtag LunchBag is

“#HashtagLunchbag is a humanity service movement dedicated to empowering and inspiring humanity to reap the benefits of giving through the use of social media. We create and use bagged lunches, complete with love messages, as a vessel to spread this love and share our experiences to inspire others.”


So after we had decorated, and packed all the lunches, we went to a local neighborhood. We gave them to some families and a lot of children. It really got me thinking about how fortunate I really. Most of us have food, a home, and probably internet or a cellphone – things that we think are just standard for living. However some people don’t have that.


I just want to encourage everyone this week to donate some time, or money to a cause. Honestly, you should feel a little obligated because of how blessed you are. Maybe give an hour or two at the food bank or try to volunteer at the Boys & Girls Club, or make some lunches and drive around and give them to homeless folks. Just do something to give back to people less fortunate, because we are all the human race.

Just give a little, because you have a lot.

Stay blessed,

– Tanesha Renae

Monday Morning Thoughts: Unlearn The Bad Stuff.

Unlearn the feeling that you have to always be in competition with whoever/whatever to feel validated or worthy. You are more than capable of everything that you want to do. You don’t have to be in competition to be worthy. You have to stop focusing on this imaginary competition, or else you will drive yourself crazy. You can’t focus on what someone else is doing, and still, be great at what you are doing. You also should unlearn the thought that someone’s poor capability to love you is in no way a reflection of yourself. You are a beautiful person and deserving of the love that you so freely give away. First, give some love to yourself, and then wait for someone who knows how to love you properly.

Stay Encouraged.

– T.Renae

Thank Your Ex-Boyfriend.

Sometimes you just have to thank your ex-boyfriend.

A few Sundays ago my father’s sermon was titled, “Enough is Enough” from Mark 5:25-34. The part of his sermon that stuck out the most to me is this story. It was about a girl who had grown so much in her life. The short version of the story was this young lady had the minister come over to bless her new home. While there, the minister saw a picture of a man on her table. The minister asked the woman was this man her friend, cousin or brother but she quickly explained to him that he was her ex-boyfriend. I kid you not all of us women in the church was like “oh no! Warning! Unhealthy! She must be crazy!”

My dad laughs then continues his story, the woman left this picture of her ex-boyfriend because without the challenges and heartbreak he put her through, she wouldn’t be the woman she is today. After they broke up, she grew so much in her ministry with God, learned more about her self-worth and was able to face challenges because the situation made her stronger. So her reasoning for keeping the picture of the kitchen table was a reminder to thank him for helping her get to the place where she was today.

Now keeping a picture on the kitchen table might be a bit extreme but the moral of the story stuck with me. When we experience a negative break up, initially we dwell on all the negatives. I also do this myself. When actually we need to focus more on what we learned from those relationships and grow from those experiences. As women, we dwell so much on the hurt and pain that man caused us, but the key is to learn and grow. We have to push through the hurt and use the pain to push us to higher heights. The key is to dwell on the lessons learned and to focus on your growth in the process.

Therefore, let’s thank our exes for helping to end that chapter so we can focus on what God has in store. Trust and believe this will not be easy but we have to stop running from our pain. We have to face our pain and allow it to push us into all we have ever wanted and needed. I’m not saying keep a picture (unless it’s one you really look bomb in) but keep those memories as they push you into a more powerful, peaceful and purposeful you!

Love Always,

– A. Rochell

Dear In the dark, tryna get out. 

Yo Ladies & Co, I recently started dating a girl and we celebrated our three month anniversary on December 2nd (this is my first real serious relationship, so bare with me). We’ve been talking way before that, though maybe for around 6 months. I really do like her, maybe almost love. I just have no idea how to tell my mom and my family. I’m afraid of their reaction, you know. My family and I have gone through some things where I couldn’t always talk to them. And my girl hasn’t pushed me to tell them either, she understands what I’m going through. I’ve met her family already, and they all love me. I’m starting college next week, and on Sunday, I move into my dorm. I don’t know if I should tell my mom before or after. My mom knows we’re friends, she just doesn’t know the extent of our friendship. I’d really like to tell my mother because I play soccer, and I’d love for them both to be at my games cheering me on. Please help. – In the dark, tryna get out.

Dear In the dark, tryna get out,

First let me applaud you for seeking our advice! I know this was a hard decision to share your thoughts on such a sensitive subject. Secondly, you should be open and honest about your relationship with your girl. She may not have said anything however, you better believe it has crossed her mind. Absolutely no woman want their relationship with their special guy to be a secret. Thirdly, your letter left me curious as to why you haven’t disclosed this information to your parents. What’s making this decision hard for you? I understand your relationship with them have been rocky, however, they should be elated that you have found someone that makes you happy. I understand every parent wants the best for their children including a great education, however, I think they would be genuinely happy for you.

So in essence, telling your parents may be the healthy choice. It would definitely shed some light on your relationship with them. If it was me, I would definitely tell my parents.

Keep It Classy,

– T. Renae

The Price of Being Independent

This generation of women holds strong to their independents. It’s an amazing feeling to be a strong, independent women. We have our own which is a beautiful thing. We are lawyers, doctors, politicians and possible presidents of the United States of America. We are reaching higher heights than ever before but this sometimes can come at a price. There is always something that suffers, and most times it is our relationships! Sometimes that power or independence creates tension in relationships. Women we forget we have to let the man,  be the man.

When women are breadwinners that can sometimes create barriers in the relationship. As strong women, we have to still show that we are dependent on our men. I know for some that will be a hard pill to swallow but we have to make our men feel needed. Especially if that’s the man we want to build a future with. We confuse caring for our men or showing that we can submit to our men as weakness, but that’s not necessarily true. If the man you’re with has your best interest at heart, loves God and you, it’s okay to show him your softer side.Women are not supposed to run the show, the man is the head. Let’s say it together – WE HAVE TO FOLLOW OUR MEN! Ok, now take a deep breath. It’s okay, I promise you because it’s going to pay off!

Let’s recap! Allow the man to be the man! Allow your man to take the lead! It’s okay to submit to your man when he has a relationship with God, loves you and has your best interest at heart.

Share below about what you think about letting the man be the man!

Love Always,

– A. Rochell

Monday Mindset for Love: Week 3

Welcome to Week 3 everyone in the Month of Love! We’re about halfway done with the month and we’ve made some major strides in our walk towards love.

One of the most important things to do in your life is to be able to Heal and Deal with all of your past hurts, and last relationship’s problems. For me, I had to take a hard look at everything that has every hurt me in the past. Then, be able to confront those problems head on, instead of avoiding them, or pushing them to the side, or pretending like they don’t exist. For example, while in high school my heart was severely broken. Until I really figured out what it was that went wrong in that relationship, I wasn’t able to go into my next relationship with an open mind and for it to last a long time. I heard once, that until you deal with your past, you will never be able to go into your future with positivity and an open mind – the same goes with your heart.

“Assignment” – Think about and consider every relationship you’ve ever been hurt in, and deal with those hurts. For example, if I was hurt my ex-boyfriend, I would have to confront and deal with that first, before being able to be open to recieve long.

What are some of the things that you have been hurt by and how did you deal with them? Share below in our comments!

Keep It Classy,

– T. Renae.

Favorite Couples – Valentine’s Day 2016

Happy Valentine’s Day Everyone!! We hope you are having a great day filled with love and laughter, because you deserve it, with or without a significant other. So this Valentine’s Day, I wanted to share with you all my favorite couples of all time, they’re not in any particular order – just the order I thought of them in! Enjoy!

 

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President Barack and First Lady Michelle Obama – I mean, who wouldn’t want to aspire to be such a power couple like they are.

 

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Stephen and Ayesha Curry – Just look at those faces! Also, they’ve been together since high school, and they have two of the cutest little girls on this planet.

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Meagan Good and Devon Franklin – What really makes me love this couple is that they were both abstaining from sex when they met and continued to wait for sex until they got married. Which is such an inspiration to me, because I am also abstaining from sex until marriage.

 

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Jurnee Smollett-Bell and Josiah Bell – I mean, just look at how he looks at her, I can’t wait to get married and have someone look at me in that way.

 

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My Parents – They are just such a great example to me of a working and committed relationship. They look really young in this picture and they’ve done a terrific job of raising two Black kids while being equally committed to their careers, and each other.

Be sure to share your favorite couples below in the comments as well!

Keep It Classy,

– T. Renae

Monday Mindset For Love: Week 2

Welcome to Week 2 everyone in the month of love! We are so excited that you continuing this journey to love with us.

Matters of the heart must always be taken seriously, and you must be realistic with yourself. Last week, we spent time considering what we bring to the table. A friend of mine once said that you can’t go after what you want, unless you know what you want. This week’s challenge is to make your check list.

“Assignment” – I would fold up a sheet of paper into thirds, and label each section with Wants, Needs, and Deal Breakers, respectively. Really think about things you want, need, and won’t settle for. Wants are typically physical things, such as dark hair, 6’7’’ height, or anything like that. Needs are typically personality characters, such as honesty, trustworthiness, etc. Now, Deal Breakers are things you will not settle for. Like if you meet a guy with this trait, or characteristic – you won’t even consider this guy for dating.

I’m going to use myself as an example – I want a guy who’s tall, but I need him to be affectionate, and I won’t settle for him not being a Christian.

What are some of your wants and needs? Share below in our comments!

Keep It Classy,

– T. Renae.

Monday Mindset For Love: Week 1

Welcome to the month of loveeeeeeeee! This month I decided I wanted to do a series that runs every Monday in February called Mindset For Love. So I will be giving “assignments” out every Monday for you to work on your love life.

Someone once told me you have to be ready for love to come into your life because love is serious and affects not only yourself but other people too. In my opinion, you shouldn’t just date to date, you should, at least, see yourself somewhat with them long term. So with that being said, one of the first steps in preparing yourself for love is to consider what you bring to the table. What attributes will you bring to the table?

 
“Assignment” – Consider and write out everything positive you will be bringing to the table to your relationship. Also, write down on a separate sheet of paper all of the baggage, and negative feelings you are still holding on to such as self-hatred, past relationships, etc. Take the things you bring to the table and post it on your mirror. And take the sheet of paper with your baggage on it. Take a day to really think about these things and the reasons you’re still holding on to them. Then pray about it and let them go.

 

(I am particularly fond of ripping it up, and flushing it – but whatever you decide. )
Comment below what things you bring to the table!
Keep It Classy,
– T.Renae.