Happy Anniversary Mom & Dad!

Today is my parent’s 25th anniversary of marriage!

My parents are like real life relationship goals for me. They’re married, have kids, have great careers and traveling the world – what more can you ask for !? Growing up in this house full of love, I’ve learned a few things about life, love, and marriage. I’ve decided to share the top 3 love lessons (that I have learned) with you all.

  1. Love is a decision. After the feeling is long and gone, and you have to DECIDE to love one another. It’s not always pretty and cute and fun, sometimes it is hard and rough-looking. Every day for the rest of your life you have to decide to love your significant other, choose who you will love wisely.
  2. Love (and marriage) is friendship amplified.You have to be friends. When my parents first met, they didn’t like each other (you have to get them to tell you the story), but now they are the best of friends. Friends fuss and fight, but at the end of the day, they are still there for each other when they are going through hard times. Also with true friendships (and marriage) you can depend on one another.
  3.  Love is patient. Your spouse or significant other is not going to be perfect (and neither are you for that matter). People make mistakes and unintentionally hurt each other, You have to be patient enough to realize “hey, my significant other is still growing up and maturing, so mistakes and unintentional hurts may happen.” I see so many folks out here that want a spouse that’s already established making 100K a year, flying them out to XYZ, etc.  But those same people aren’t willing to build with a person, so that they can get those things together.

Here’s a cute video tribute of my parents. 🙂 They’re super adorable!

I hope one day to have as happy of a marriage as they have.

Peace and Blessings to them.

– Tanesha

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Monday Mindset For Love: Week 2

Welcome to Week 2 everyone in the month of love! We are so excited that you continuing this journey to love with us.

Matters of the heart must always be taken seriously, and you must be realistic with yourself. Last week, we spent time considering what we bring to the table. A friend of mine once said that you can’t go after what you want, unless you know what you want. This week’s challenge is to make your check list.

“Assignment” – I would fold up a sheet of paper into thirds, and label each section with Wants, Needs, and Deal Breakers, respectively. Really think about things you want, need, and won’t settle for. Wants are typically physical things, such as dark hair, 6’7’’ height, or anything like that. Needs are typically personality characters, such as honesty, trustworthiness, etc. Now, Deal Breakers are things you will not settle for. Like if you meet a guy with this trait, or characteristic – you won’t even consider this guy for dating.

I’m going to use myself as an example – I want a guy who’s tall, but I need him to be affectionate, and I won’t settle for him not being a Christian.

What are some of your wants and needs? Share below in our comments!

Keep It Classy,

– T. Renae.

Dear In Love or Nah,

Hola #AskTheLadies, i think I am still in love with this guy, but y’know I’m unsure because we don’t talk like we used to, partly because he’s also dealing with another girl. He hasn’t put titles on either of our relationships. We had issues and I could no longer cope with his lies. I’ve told him if he wants to talk to her, he should leave me alone. The problem is he doesn’t want to . Well I didn’t give him a choice, and I left, though I was extremely upset that it couldn’t just be the 2 of us. We didn’t talk for over a month BUT he kept persisting. Calling me, texting me, facetiming me and so on. I’ve discovered that this other girl is still in the picture. I don’t understand why he wants to have me around  when he has her. I just need help figuring out whether my strong feelings for him are love? or am i attached because of the chemistry we had? -In Love or Nahh
Dear In Love or Nah,
You will always have some form of love, bond, or connection with someone that you have spent a lot of time with. However, you can’t force someone to be with you or want to talk to you. He is his own person and makes his own decisions. You were right for leaving him and not speaking to him because he was entertaining someone else. Even though it may hurt to see him with this other girl, just try to focus on yourself and moving forward in your life. I’m sure you probably gave him a lot of yourself but being stuck on him can possibly leave you to miss out on another guy, who respects, love, and adores you. Most importantly a guy that, cares about you enough not to entertain other women. You may still have love because as a woman we tend to love hard and become really emotionally attached, but you are probably not in love anymore with him.
Stay Strong,
Mion Edwards

Dear Tryna Come Clean,

Hi Ladies & Company, I met this wonderful man named William last year. He’s highly educated, God fearing, with a strong moral character. His first relationship was a long term one, and I can see why. I, on the other hand, have lied to him about my past. I was a bit of a wild girl growing up. I had a few one-night stands, a couple of sugar daddies, and a few trains run on me, but this was all done in the dark. When he asked me about my past, I was honestly very vague and told him that I was in a couple of long-term relationships. Should I come clean? or leave things as they are because our relationship is going really well. I am honestly terrified of his reaction. I am a female in my late twenties. – Tryna Come Clean.

Dear Tryna Come Clean,

First of all, I commend you for having the confidence to submit this question to us. Secondly, I think you need to really weigh the pros and cons of this relationship to make sure you both are 100% committed to each other now. If you both are, then it shouldn’t matter how colorful your past was. If it was me, I would probably not go into extreme detail about this wild past, however, I wouldn’t belittle the past either, or make it out to be something that it is not. You have a past and he should respect that. I think that if William is as good of a guy as he says and has been showing to you, he will forgive you. You don’t want to run into the problem what if he finds out or you run into someone from your past, then he could potentially be more upset about you being dishonest than the actual acts. If you are far enough removed from that part of your past life, it should be okay. I believe that you should’ve gone ahead tested for STDs, and other potential health issues. Also another thing to consider is that William probably has a past too, it might not be as “bad”, but he probably has some things in it that he wishes he could erase as well. If the relationship is strong, it shouldn’t matter. You both are together now in the present, and hopefully you will be in the future!

Keep It Classy,

T.Renae

Dear Wanting to Know,

Hola friends, I have a general question, just to get your opinions, and feedback on. How many sex partners it too many for a female? Or even a male? – Wanting to Know

Dear Wanting to Know,

At one time probably two because then it gets a little messy and then spreading diseases may occur and it’s just not a good idea in my opinion. How many is too many over a lifetime? I would say you have to use your discretion. For males and females think about what kind of person you want to be perceived as, when you feel as though you are becoming a person you don’t want to be then it’s probably a good idea to stop and reevaluate your actions.
Peace Love and Harmony,
Averi Simone

“I am a woman who appreciates a man who…”

So last week, I posted “I am a man who appreciates a woman who…” and I thought, maybe the guys need some love too. So I decided I would do a sort of “rebuttal,” from the the ladies to show that men are also appreciated. So I asked some of my girl friends to complete the sentence, “I am a woman who appreciates a man who….”

  • “I am a woman who appreciates a man who has ambition and goes after what he wants. ” – Starr
  • “I am a woman who appreciates a man who knows exactly what to do before I have to ask/say it and Prays, loves hard, does the little things. ” – Leah
  • “I am a woman who appreciates a man who loves me the same way I love him, appreciates me and prays for and with me. ” – JaKeya
  • “I am a woman who appreciates a man who puts God first, Can support me in all endeavors and loves me for me. ” – Jasmin
  • “I am a woman who appreciates a man who i can pray with. ” – Mykea
  • “I am a woman who appreciates a man who has a continual relationship with God and knows Jesus Christ is his Lord and Savior and Who is ambitious, supporting of my goals, caring, respectful, family oriented and plans to build a family together. ” – Keirsten
  • “I am a woman who appreciates a man who submits to God. ” – Maya
  •  “I’m a woman who appreciates a man who admires me for my intelligence & personality rather than my looks.” – Morgan
  • “I am a woman who appreciates a man who appreciates the value of a good woman, who loves and respects his mother, who is led by God and follows God because if he doesn’t follow God how could I follow him, and who pushes me to higher heights as I help him through his journey. ” – Arielle
  • “I am a woman who appreciates a man who knows himself through his relationship with God, who respects me and loves me the same if not more than  I love him and who will pray and lead our household with me beside him. ” – Averi
  • “I am a woman who appreciates a man who follows God’s lead in treating me like the queen I am and who is obedient to the call God has placed over his life and respects the call that God has placed over my life.” -Heather
  • “I am a woman who appreciates a man who still believes in Chivalry, is a God fearing man, grow and learn with, and who will stick with me through the tough times as well as the amazing times and a man who knows the true meaning of love. ” – Dominique
  • “I am a woman who appreciates a man who caters to my needs. ” – My mother.
  • “I’m a woman who appreciates a man who humbles himself before God. ” – Cutina
  • “I’m a woman who appreciates a man who is just as ambitious as I am.” – Tay-Lor

Keep It Classy,

-T. Renae

Dear Friends or more?

Hi Ladies, So I dated this guy like three years ago, and due the distance we broke up (I went to another country). We still remained friends, i mean best friends even! We can both be freely ourselves, as Christians. We are both waiting until marriage for sex and stuff. And it was a genuinely great time together. But now he’s coming to the same country as me to study. We’ve considered redating but I fear young people may judge our relationship because he’s a year younger than me. I mean he’s going to be at a completely different university as a freshman, and freshman year consists of A LOT of partying. Do I continue as friends with him, or date him and risk our good friendship? – Friends or more?

Dear Friends or More,

I would say follow your heart. Don’t worry about what other people will think about him being younger than you. I have dated men younger than me and nobody ever judged me for going younger. If you walk in confidence and feel comfortable about dating a younger man than nobody will even notice that he is younger, but if you walk around feeling like people are judging you then they will. As TdotRenae’s mother advised us, “You want a man that is younger than you because then you can train him to be the way you want him to be.” This is great advice because it makes sense and it is doable within a maturity level. If he is mature enough to be trained and still act his age then you have a keeper. I hope this helps!
Peace, Love & Harmony,
Averi Simone

“I am a man who appreciates a woman who….”

I have been thinking for a very long time, what makes a man appreciate his woman. I know we always talk about how guys are this, and guys aren’t that, but lately i’ve been thinking about what makes a guy really appreciates their woman. Or what they really want/love in their woman. So this is for all the women out there who don’t feel appreciated by the guys in their life. I asked a bunch of guys I know, that are really sweet and charming what they appreciate in a woman. They had to complete the sentence: “I am a man who appreciates a woman who…”

  • “I am a man who appreciates a woman who cleans the toe jam out of my toes…. In other words cares about me in an extra capacity. ” -My Dad
  • “I am a man who appreciates a woman who is ambitious and shows greater or equal determination and drive to reach individual goals and dreams while still supporting his own. ” – Chris H.
  • “I am a man who appreciates a women who loves life and cares for others like she does herself.” – Gregory B.
  • “I am a man who appreciates a woman who appreciates me for who I am, can give me mutual support and meaningful conversation and has a good sense of humor. ” – Wilifred C.
  • “I am a man who appreciates a woman who is Self motivated and appreciates me back. ” – Zachary P.
  • “I am a man who appreciates a woman who can love and hold a man down through thick and thin. ” – Larry
  • “I am a man who appreciates a woman who can push me to be better in everything that I do and who doesn’t allow me to get complacent.” – Devin
  • “I am a man who appreciates a woman who is faithful and is there for you through anything, no matter how good or bad it is.” – Tony
  • “I am a man who appreciates a woman who isn’t just a woman, but a lady. ” – Chad H.
  • “I’m a man who appreciate a woman who loves herself, who loves God, who wants to be successful, who loves her husband, who cherishes her life,  who is committed to loyalty, honesty and peace, who loves her natural hair,  who knows that life isn’t easy but overcoming obstacles is a goal she must attain, who loves and respects her parents, who loves her kids (if and when she has them). ” -Devon
  • “I am a man who appreciates a woman who appreciates me and my efforts.” – Andrew
  • “I am a man who appreciates a woman who adores me, loves me for who I am, doesn’t judge me for my past, see’s the good in me, supports me in all that I do, and builds me up. ” – Charles J.
  • “I am a man who appreciates a woman who appreciates herself and is on the same or higher level of motivation than myself. ” – Reese
  • “I am a man who appreciates a woman who understands that her man sometimes needs to be babied and cared for instead of being hard on him and making him be a man 24/7 365. Who allows her man to be weak sometimes and not bash him for being weak but to help him in his time of need. ” – Charles T.
  • “I am a man who appreciates a woman who pushes me to be the best man i can be. ” – Philip D.
  • “I am a man who appreciates a woman who is intelligent, ambitious, hard working, and a pleasure to be around.” – Jordan W.
  • ” I’m a man who appreciates a woman who is honest, who is secure within themselves, who is resilient and can communicate, who thinks of others an not only themselves, and who is forthcoming with their intentions.” -Benjamin M & Joshua M
  • “I am a man who appreciates a woman who is independent, god fearing, great at communicating, and loves to travel. ” – Bryant

Keep It Classy,

T.Renae

Dear Best friends or more,

So hi Ladies and Company, I just graduated [from high school]. And there’s this guy and he has been my boy best friend the whole way through my senior year of high school. He was talking to my friend and having sex with her. But he didn’t want a relationship with her. She thought that she could keep him that way, you know with sex. And me and him being “best friends,” we workout together, go bike riding together, talk on the phone for hours and are always there for each other. I like him a lot but considering the fact that he was kinda with my friend, i dont know. My feelings don’t have an on and off switch. Am I wrong for wanting to be with him, since I’m pretty sure he likes me back but he’s been with my friend? – Best friends or more.

Hi sweetie,

I don’t think that your feelings are wrong, but I would not act on these feelings, for numerous reasons. The first reason is because this is your friend, your boy best friend. You don’t want to jeopardize/ruin your friendship over these feelings, that may or may not be reciprocated. The second reason is because even though they (your boy best friend and your friend) aren’t in a committed relationship, they are still engaging “activities,” which could potentially grow into a relationship (It also could not – we never know with these things). Even though he says doesn’t want to have a relationship with the friend, he’s already smashing. As a woman, and young lady you really only have two options: (1) approach your friend and tell her how you feel and ask her to back off, or (2) tell her how you feel about the best friend and tell her you want her to be happy so you are backing off.

If it was me, honestly I would pull a Frozen and just let it go. You just graduated high school, and there will be plenty more (better) fish in the sea for you!

Keep It Classy, 

T.Renae

Advice Column: Relaunch #AskTheLadies.

Hello, lovely followers of Ladies and Co., We are officially relaunching our Advice Column portion of the blog. We have renamed it #AskTheLadies

So the authors that will be participating in the advice column portion are all women in the pursuit of their college degrees mostly in psychology and communications.

The Advice column is geared towards 13-year-olds – 26-year-olds, men or women, especially those of color.

The advice column will mainly focus on questions about love, college, relationships, and everyday life! The response to a weekly question will be on every Tuesday Mornings!

If you would like to submit a question – click this link. You can ask a question through Ask.fm, and we will respond to it on the blog. We will also let you know on Ask.Fm when it has been responded to!

Be sure to submit your questions today!

XOXO

– Ladies & Co.