Happy Birthday to Me!

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Happy Birthday to Me!

It’s my 24th birthday – and I gotta admit I’m feeling a little weird. This will be my first birthday without doing something to celebrate with my parents, and honestly it is kinda bumming me out. But I refuse to be sad on my birthday (plus ain’t nobody got time for that, I have a whole final due on Monday). This year, instead of reflecting on what I’ve already learned – I want to focus on changing for the better. The past year has been very revealing to me about the type of person that I want to be. Not because I am unhappy with who I am, because let’s face it – I’m pretty lit. But rather because next year, at 25, I want to be happier and just overall better as a person. God has put it in my heart to start laying the ground work in my 24th year, so that the next quarter of my life will be the best.

My Goals are as followed:

Stop Allowing Folks to Treat You Like You’re Regular. I have this really bad habit of allowing people to just treat me any type of way. It is because growing up and even into my undergrad days, I used to be really afraid of being alone and not having any friends. But now, after moving to Pittsburgh alone, I’ve realized that – I don’t need them. I pride myself in being a good friend to people and if they don’t want to act right – that’s on them. Friends are great and as much as I want to have that “group of girlfriends” – I can’t keep trying and trying and trying.  Especially when I’m not reaping any of the benefits. If you’re my friend cool, but if I feel like I’m putting in more than I am going to Imma fall back and stop expecting that reciprocation. I’m still gunna be there for you if you need to be as a listening ear. I just have to stop expecting them to do the same.

Live More In Love and Be Positive. Most people who know me know that I am a pretty optimistic person. But sometimes my positive energy gets hit with other people’s negativity and I absorb it. Not on purpose, but it happens. I want to be able to keep my positivity and energy clear of other people’s baggage. Which is sometimes really hard for me because I take on other people’s stress often. Also, I want to live in love more. I wrote a blog post about how to put love in your daily lives. But I want to be a more loving and kind person. When people are around me, I want them to instantly feel loved and cared for. There was a girl once at Hampton, while I didn’t know her personally, I could see and feel the energy she radiated. I want that.

More Jesus. For a few months now, I have been feeling like something is missing from my life. I felt like all this good was happening around me, but still something was missing. And honestly, it was yesterday that it hit me. I wasn’t spending as much time with God as I should be. So this next year, I want to take my relationship with God to the next level. I feel like I haven’t been taking my relationship with Him as seriously as I should be. But starting today, I am recommitting myself to God, His word, My Prayers, and His people. I will be studying His word and doing daily prayers – every day. No excuses. God has done so much for me, the VERY LEAST I could do is spend time with Him.

There are probably more things, but these are going to be my main focus right now. I am so excited about my next year of growth and wisdom. 23 was a year of getting comfortable with being uncomfortable, growth and new opportunities. I cannot wait to see what 24 brings.

Love yall bunches.

– Tanesha

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Newly Single? I got you. 

So like you, at the beginning of the year I became single. After being in a very serious relationship for about two or so years, I felt like I had lost a huge chuck of who I was. Not because I was any less of a person without the relationship, but because I had become used to having him around and a big part of my life. But now that it’s been a few months, I’ve got a few tips that can help you through this period.

  • I needed time to grieve, and you probably do too. As a person, who loves hard, it takes a bit of time to get over someone, especially someone you cared deeply about. As Part of my grieving, I wanted to be left completely alone – I cut off communication with my ex-boyfriend. I gave myself a week to be mopey and sad, (and honestly it was probably too much time). But I was able to release all the sadness and hurt I was feeling by way of tears, eating junk food, sleeping and being lazy.
  • Change, change, change. I literally changed everything around me. I got rid of most things that reminded me of my ex-boyfriend (and by get rid of I mean I put it all in a box, I kept some stuff out tho). I rearranged my furniture, changed my hair, changed how I dressed and how I do my make up. After changing everything, I felt so refreshed and brand new.
  • Get busy. Grind time doesn’t stop. You are too amazing to stop being great. Do you have a secret hobby you wanted to get into? Now you have the extra Time to devote to that. You have the opportunity to be even more amazing than you were before! You can also fill that time with the great company of your friends and family. They are always going to be there for you and support you, and I’m sure they would not be opposed to spending some extra time with you!
  • Go out on dates, but DO NOT REBOUND. I know this sound contradictory but I think that it’s okay to go out with other people, but only when you’re ready and in a healthy way. Just don’t be on the rebound. What I mean is don’t go out immediately looking for a replacement significant other. I know you’re lonely and in your feelings, but no. Rebounding literally makes you feel worse than when you started. But if there are young men interested in you, give them a chance.

 

Those are the main things I would suggest, but most of all – give yourself time. Time heals all wounds.

 
What are some tips do you have for the newly single? Or if you are newly single, how are you coping?

 
XOXO
– Tanesha.

Monday Thoughts: Face Your Fears

Happy Monday Everyone! My internship wanted us to have some “lasting memories” and team building activities before the program ends. So they paid for us to go to this Adventure Park in Virginia Beach. So basically, it’s like a ropes obstacle course up in the trees. So I have a slight extreme fear of heights. I had already decided earlier in the week that I was not going to get up in the trees – they can’t make me do anything, right?

So fast forward to getting there, I spent 30 minutes debating if I was actually going to go up in the course. Mind you, this is probably the safest way to go climbing they have steel ropes that can hold up to 500 pounds. I finally go out there on the ropes and I felt so connected with God. Possibly because I was scared out of my mind, but I feel like my faith increased by like 50 million. It was just me and God, and my friend in front of me screaming for me to “keep going.” Afterwards, I felt so good. I accomplished something on my bucket list, as well as faced my fear. I feel like I can do anything I set my mind to with a little prayer and faith.


I encourage all of you to do something that scares you. I believe that doing something that scares you, builds your confidence up. Even if it is something slight like making a phone call, doing mental math, public speaking, or even talking to your crush.

Go Forth and conquer your fears, as well as build your confidence.

Love Always,

– Tanesha.

Gratitude Challenge: Week 1

“Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn’t learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn’t learn a little, at least we didn’t get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn’t die; so, let us all be thankful.” -Buddha

To begin our month of November Challenge of Gratitude, we shared a quote from Buddha. This week we challenge you to be more grateful in your heart and if you want to take it a step further, start a gratitude journal. Every day, write down at least one thing that you are grateful for – starting today, November 1!

Silent Disco: The Experience

So a few weeks ago, Hampton University celebrated our homecoming! Every year hundred’s of Hampton University Alum travel back to Our Home By the Sea to spend time in each other’s company, and reminisce on the good times they had when they attended college here. Each year it seems like there are more and more parties to attend. This year the Class of 2010 (QT7) Decided to throw a Silent Disco House Party. A Silent Disco party is basically a party where no music is played out loud – all the music is streamed through wireless headphones. At the party we attended the headphones has three different stations, and each station was linked to a different DJ.

Now when we first walked in, it was a little awkward, because it is dead silent beside people talking. When we first walked in I think as a group, we were like “oh no, what have we gotten ourselves into.” Most parties, you can gauge how good it is going to be based on the music, and the people dancing, however here there was no music, and a lot of people dancing and singing loudly.

So then there was a lady there to explain how the headphones worked and how to switch between stations, and we got some food and went to this other room where a lot of people were partying at. We put our headphones on and started to just listen to the music and let loose. The music quality, to be honest, was just like if we were at a party where the music was played out loud. The headphones were just so bomb!

Now I know what you’re thinking, what about talking to your friends, and people at the party. Literally you just move your headphone and talk. What is probably the greatest part is you don’t have to scream at the other person to be heard.

If you have the opportunity to go and attend a silent party: DO IT! Here are a few reasons why:

  • It was genuine fun. If you like to twerk, there’s a station for that. If you like reggae, there was a station for that. Literally the music catered to what you wanted to hear, and you never were stuck listening to something you didn’t want to listen to.
  • There is literally nothing like it, except for other silent parties. So Why not? You attend the same monotonous parties week in, and week out – why not experience something new.
  • It is a step out of your comfort zone because you will be singing out loud in a room full of strangers with no judgement! It was very liberating for me, and I am sure it will be for you.

  
Let me tell you, this by far was the best party I had ever been to. I’ve been to enough parties where it is just loud music, people twerking and drunkenness. I honestly don’t like to party because of two out of the three things. So to go and experience a party like this where it was just genuine fun was awesome. It was great listening to the music, but it was also hilarious to take my headphones off and listen to everyone singing three different songs at any given time!

I encourage you if you ever see the opportunity to go to a Silent Party to go.

Keep It Classy,

T.Renae

The Weekend After The First Week of School

After the first and hectic week of school, I always try to just get through the week without doing any organizational things. I do this because it is often easier to organize everything at one time, as opposed to going back and forth as you add, and drop classes, and change your schedule around. So here’s how I get organized and ready for a productive school year.

First things first, I always buy a planner/agenda for the upcoming school year. Normally this happens before the school year because I am obsessed with planners! I’ve always had a strong love for planners if I am being completely honest. 
Put all the important academic calendar dates in my planner. It is good to always have these dates already in your planner, so you won’t have remember them all off hand, they will already be put down!
Whether it be in your phone, or in an excel sheet. Make a schedule of what your daily life will be while in school. I normally use both my phone and planner. Just so I am sure not to forget anything. I like having a schedule because it makes me accountable for every half hour, of every day.
Next I go through the syllabi for every class and make a list of important dates. So every assignment, project, exam goes into this master task list. I put the name of the assignment, teacher, class, and due date. I also sort the list by date and print. Won’t have everything but close enough. This semester I am using one notebook/binder thing for all my classes and I taped the list to the inside cover.
Lastly, I try to do any easy assignments I can before the semester begins to get too busy. Doing these assignments now, will eliminate undue stress later in the semester.
The only way to stay organized during the school is to remain dedicated to the process. Sometimes you may fall a little short, but just pick yourself back up, and keep it pushing!
How do you stay organized for the school year? Let us know in the comments!
-T.Renae

Dear Dealing Wit Da Ex,

Hi. So my ex and I broke up, a little over a year ago now. I just recently started talking to someone new, and he’s so awesome and amazing and loving and just great! But now my ex wants to come back. He is blaming me for him cheating.. Like he says if i didn’t call and text all the time, or be around him all the time, he wouldn’t have gotten bored and cheated on me. Like what? My new guy is ready to snap on my ex (which is kinda cute). But I dont want any problems with us to start with, ESPECIALLY if its from my past relationship. How do i handle this without it escalating with my new man getting involved? – Dealing Wit da Ex.

Hey Girl!

First off congrats on the new boo – he sounds like such a winner! Second, your ex sounds like a major jerk. Cheating because your bored is an excuse, if he wanted to be committed to you, he would’ve been – point blank. That’s not shade to you, its shade to him because he couldn’t be man enough to just leave the relationship, instead he took a coward way out and cheated. Tell your new guy not to worry – I would block your ex on social media and if you have an iPhone block him on there too (if you don’t have an iPhone you can go to your phone company and get his number blocked, or change your number completely) because he doesn’t even deserve to see you happy anymore. Cut all ties with him, and focus all your attention on your new boo, and your happiness!

Keep It Classy, 

T.Renae

Things I Would Tell Freshman Year Me!

Dear Freshman Year Me,

First of all, CONGRATS! We made it to college!! This is such a huge blessing and accomplishment that not many people get to have! Here are some things you need to keep in mind to make your freshman year, and collegiate career the best time of your life.

Focus on school. Don’t lose sight of why you are in college – you’ve come to obtain an education to get yourself further in life – further than you could’ve with just a high school diploma. So many people lose sight of why they come to college. It is too expensive to lose focus! You could’ve stayed home to party, and waste money to be honest. Also, freshmen year is the foundation year, so get your GPA up super high because once it’s low – it stays low. School is the ONLY mission!

Experience life. Go out and do something that scares you (or makes you feel adventurous) – at least once a week. I’m not saying go out and get shit-faced drunk, (hey if you want to get shit-faced, take a buddy – safety first!), because that may not be your idea of an experience. Go and travel the world (like study abroad), try new foods, learn new skills, do anything – but experience life the way you want to, not the way you think society may want you to just because you’re in college.

Take advantage of literally every opportunity – academic, professional, or personal. Many opportunities are lost because you are too afraid to try or think you are unqualified. Do not be afraid, just do it. No bad can come from it, if you get the opportunity: great, you’re about to do something awesome, if you don’t get the opportunity – that is okay too because you’ve gained the experience of applying for these things, which you can use when applying for other opportunities.

Don’t be afraid to ask questions or for help. Have the confidence to know and accept that you don’t know everything about everything (I know you may think you do, but you don’t). It takes a lot of confidence to ask the hard questions, and you will probably help someone who wanted to ask the question too. Asking questions is not a sign of lack of intellect, rather a yearning for a deeper understanding.

Love will come, just wait on it. As a person who has been there, done that – its not always worth it. I’m not saying don’t go on dates, or have an interest in people, I’m just saying that you will know when it is right. You will feel it in your heart, and within your soul. It will happen when you’re ready, but only then. And in all honestly college may not be the time when you become ready. Focus on building yourself, and your brand – and the rest will fall into place.

Don’t compromise your morals – ever. This is advice more so for the future, not just for college! I would be doing you a disservice, if I didn’t tell you that compromising is easy, like almost too easy. Sticking to your guns about your beliefs, morals, and values is going to be hard as hell.You will have to intentionally stick to them at first, but then over time it will become second nature. Your college years will be the ultimate test of your faith, beliefs, morals, values, and everything else. Be sure to stick to what you believe, no matter what. It will help you in the long run. Your parents spent a lot of time raising you to be the woman that you are today – don’t put all their hard work to waste!

College is going to sometimes be awkward. You are growing, and maturing at a rapid rate. It’s not going to be the best days of your life every single day – but most days will be great! Don’t be afraid of growth, and development – staying the same will get you nowhere.

But above all, have fun! These years will become the best times of your life – act like it!

Love Always,

-Me (T. Renae)

Love Yourself Challenge: Week 7

Week 7: Positive Vibes Only

Woooohooo! We have made it to our 7th week into our Unapologetically Loving Yourself Like A Queen Challenge! I am so proud of your for sticking this out with us! Today (and the rest of the week), do not participate in ANY negative talk, about anything, and especially not yourself. Continue to think and say positive things all day, and if you slip up, correct yourself. If you mess up on something, say something like “It’s okay, I will do better next time,” or if your co-worker is complaining, tell them that “Sometimes life is hard, but there’s no need for us to be hard on ourselves.”

Share Your Experience With Us in the Comments!

– Ladies and Company


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