Hola #AskTheLadies, i think I am still in love with this guy, but y’know I’m unsure because we don’t talk like we used to, partly because he’s also dealing with another girl. He hasn’t put titles on either of our relationships. We had issues and I could no longer cope with his lies. I’ve told him if he wants to talk to her, he should leave me alone. The problem is he doesn’t want to . Well I didn’t give him a choice, and I left, though I was extremely upset that it couldn’t just be the 2 of us. We didn’t talk for over a month BUT he kept persisting. Calling me, texting me, facetiming me and so on. I’ve discovered that this other girl is still in the picture. I don’t understand why he wants to have me around when he has her. I just need help figuring out whether my strong feelings for him are love? or am i attached because of the chemistry we had? -In Love or Nahh
Hi, I’ve been in a rollercoaster relationship for YEARS now. It started off so promising! As most relationships do. We both fell in love, or atleast I did, and he says he did. But then after a while, he says he just fell out of love with me. We’ve walked out of each other’s lives a few times, but always seem to manage to hold on to the physical part, not necessarily sex, but cuddling and all that good stuff. My wants never change so I don’t understand why he keep coming back. Like thinking I would be okay with just sex! What should I do? I am still very much in love with him, and every time he comes back, I literally relive the memories and times of when we were good… – What should I do?
Dear What should I do,
If he is not giving you what you want or need then I would let it go. You may have to fight to let it go, but I’d let it go. There is no reason to wait around and keep trying to make the same thing work over and over again. Odds are it will be painful to let go off the thought of you two being together. When you let him go you won’t be letting go of those feelings with him so it may hurt a little. But that is the price we pay when we fall for the wrong guy. Love is a gamble, we win some and we lose some. When we lose it hurts like crap, but when we win it’s unimaginable.
And if you let it go, let it go for good. Don’t hold on to the physical stuff, no cuddling, no sex, no constant communication. I would just cut everything off so that you can start to rebuild yourself completely separate from him and with no distractions.
Let the memories remain memories and build yourself the future that you want. Don’t dwell on the past, but build a new thing.
Week 5: Treat Yourself! Week 5, let’s get live! Treat yourself to something amazing! A long bubble bath, a relaxing day at the beach, a warm and cozy night in your bed with a good book (or Netflix), book a massage, go out to a fancy dinner, a mani/
Week 5, let’s get live! Treat yourself to something amazing! A long bubble bath, a relaxing day at the beach, a warm and cozy night in your bed with a good book (or Netflix), book a massage, go out to a fancy dinner, a mani/pedi or anything that is a treat for you! Just do something to make yourself feel pampered. You deserve it!
Share Your Experience With Us in the Comments!
– Ladies and Company
Ladies & Co. introduced the “Love Yourself Like A Queen” challenge last week and it’s already making an impact! The 7-week challenge was created for women to self-reflect and look within ourselves through God. Last week we wrote love letters to our first loves, ourselves! Week 2’s activity was to think about 25 reasons you love yourself and I’m honored to be sharing my reasons. 25 reasons should come easy to a woman of confidence, but it took more time than anticipated to create my list. I even had to pull in love ones to complete it, but this is my perfect list! Week 2’s challenge wasn’t just about the list, it was an activity to look from within to examine yourself in a positive light. In this life, we are our worst critics but this gave us an opportunity to reflect on the elements, characteristics and qualities that make us the beautiful queens we are!
What you love about yourself
- I am a child of God.
- I work hard to achieve my goals.
- I’m more actively involved in church.
- I’m acknowledging who I am.
- I’m content in my own skin and with my connection to God.
- I’m more aware of who I can depend on.
- I’m learning not to let anyone or anything steal my joy.
- I am recognizing my own self-worth.
- I’m appreciating all the wisdom my parents have shared with me.
- I’m walking in my purpose.
- I have a 5-10 year plan for my life (knowing everything does not always go according to this plan).
- The love, passion and commitment I have for seniors, children, and people in need.
- I am not allowing stress to control my behavior.
- I’m learning to broaden my horizons.
- I’m discovering my happy place!
- I’m becoming more humble in my journey.
- I know that I am made in God’s image so I am beautiful just the way I am.
- I am my sister’s keeper.
- I love to motivate and encourage those around me.
- I am family oriented.
- I have the hope and faith that our generation will positively impact the world.
- I am open to what God has in store for me.
- I try to see the good in all people.
- I’ve been transforming my mind, body and soul to be healthier.
- I am a phenomenal woman!
HAPPY FRIDAY! So we have an exciting new series coming this February! So every Friday, basically we are going to post a quick and easy new way to kick start a fresh new month. This should help you be able to kick start you into an amazing new year, even if you have fallen off the “New Year, New Me,” Wagon. Sometimes I feel like we get stuck the monotonous ways of living that we forget that every day is a new opportunity to start living the life you want. I also think this is way over due on how to get your life back on the right road of happiness. You are the master of your fate. The new series will start on next Friday, February 6th! I am super excited to do this! See you next Friday!
“She’s not stuck up, you’re just stuck down on a level she’s unable to stoop to. Step up or step out and make way for a real gentleman.” – @bereolaesque from the book Gentlewoman
I am soooo tired of hearing young men tell me that my standards are too high. Maybe your self-worth needs to be a little higher. Since when is having high standards frowned upon? It was probably around the time girls starting giving out their goodies, for little to nothing, but that’s another topic, for another time.
I think every young woman should have standards. Standards make you extremely smart. You should not, and do not have to settle for any man out there. What would it look like if you just out there with the first guy that passed you by, no. I understand you don’t want to seem picky, but you should not have to settle! Point Blank. Do not lower you standards for any one or apologize for them. If he is telling you that they are to high, he is not worth you time.
I will caution you not to have unobtainable standards, that you cannot even offer yourself. What I mean is, you cannot expect a man to have a job and his own place, if you don’t even have that.
While, nobody is perfect, but give credit to those who are trying. If your guy is genuinely trying to be the man that follows your standards, and is extremely close to your standards, go for it!
I truly believe that if you refuse to settle for less than you know you deserve, you will come across the person who you are meant to be with.
So I decided to share some of my “standards,”
1) Communication. This is a huge thing for me, especially because I love to talk. I believe that you both must be good listeners and communicate clearly. With that being said, men and women communicate differently. Women tend to tell all the details, while men communication is straight to the point.
1.5) Texting is NOT a relationship. I know we are all in the generation of texting and instant gratification, but if all you and your guy do is text, you’re not in a relationship. Real Men make phone calls, want to hear their woman’s voice. If you ask me on a date via text message, I will kindly decline and say “While you are lazily texting me, there is another guy TALKING to me, and will take me on a real date.” I never understood why guys (and girls for allowing this to go on for so long.) think its okay to just send a text “come thru,” that’s not even a sentence!
2) Dates. If we are not going on dates, we are not dating. Simple enough.
3) Passion. He has to be passionate about something in his life. His only interests cannot be you. That makes for a very boring person. I believe each person should have their own lives, and they should come together like a Venn diagram.
4) Beliefs. He has to believe in something. For me, he has to believe in God and working towards a better relationship with him.
5) Respect. His body (hygiene, STD free), his parents, me, people around him, etc. This is pretty self explanatory.
At the end of the day, know your worth. And make sure your standards great.
Keep it classy ladies,
I will admit I am a fairly shy person. I do not always like talking face to face or on the phone, but what I would like to try is for the next “relationship” I pursue to be based on communication. I feel like most relationships do not thrive because this generation is all about getting what they want, when they want it, and they want it right now, but that’s not how relationships work.
If you truly want a relationship to last you have to get to know the person and the only way to do that successfully, is to talk to them. Not text them, facebook message them, and most definitely not through twitter. Getting to know the intonation in the persons voice, learning through observations what pushes their buttons and their interests. Yes, the initial 20 questions are necessary to see if you and this person have something in common other than the attraction to their exterior. But after you’ve found that common ground, talk to them, spend hours on the phone like our parents did. Go out on dates and actually talk!!! That’s the only way you will get to know someone in a deeper sense. Get below the surface. This is for the guys and girls alike. So many opportunities will be missed if you don’t step out of your comfort zone. If you think someone is attractive step up to them, talk to them. Ladies I know its been “tradition” to wait for the man to approach you, but if the guy you always see in the library catches your eye go get him. Let them know who you are through the words that come out of your mouth, not through text on a screen. Stop hiding behind technology before we are unable to do anything and technology takes over. I think this year we have to do better. Together lets do better everyone.
At least that’s my thought.