Happy Half Birthday to Me: Fun Facts, Confessions and Lessons

Happy Half Birthday to ME!!!!!

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Half inspired, half challenged by Courtney Saunders of Passionate Woman Blog‘s Post about being 25 and Winging It. This post will include fun facts, confessions, and lessons thus far.

Fun Facts

  1. I am a HUGE ANIME FAN. I feel like anime is becoming trendy, but I have been watching since I was in middle school (2006 to be exact). I started with the basics Naruto and DBZ, and I just fell in love. I don’t know what it is about anime – maybe it’s the reading of subtitles, the animation, the stories, or something. But I will always be a huge fan.
  2. Black is my FAVORITE color. I don’t know why I’ve just always loved it, black is just pure to me. It is also the color I wear the most of.
  3. I am a huge animal lover! I wanted to be a vet when I was younger (pre-my lawyer phase). My dad kinda ruined that dream by telling me I had to stick my hand up a cow’s butt when I went to Vet School.
  4. I am OBSESSED with my dog, Nehemiah. He has made the transition to living alone sooo much easier because without him I would never leave my apartment.
  5. I loveeeee flowers. Especially lilies. I believe it is because my dad always buys them for me, so I associate them with love.
  6. I love to watch weddings shows, wedding videos, engagement videos – honestly anything where people are in love. It brings such joy to my heart. It’s funny because I currently don’t want a huge wedding ceremony, just a reception with my closest friends.
  7. I cry at everything! Happy, Sad – it doesn’t matter. I am such a crier. Which is super ironic because if you ask my parents as a baby – I NEVER CRIED. I guess I am making up for lost time?
  8. I love the beach/lakes/ocean. The ocean/the beach makes me so happy and calm. Whenever I felt anxious or overwhelmed in college, I would go to the beach. Maybe because I was born on an island (Guam).
  9. I love to read, but not really non-fiction/self-help. I think it’s because I use books as a way to escape/live a different reality. I do think there is a great value to self-help and non-fiction books, just for some reason I am not into them. (If you are on good reads/interested in what I am reading – follow me here)
  10. I loveeee playing games on my phone – however, if a kid asks me I will always say no. Idk why but currently I have 19 game apps on my phone. A gamer at heart?
  11. My brother is probably my favorite person in the entire world, probably more than my parents. He can never do any wrong to me. We even got matching tattoos!
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Ancient Greek: φιλία, often translated as “brotherly/sisterly love.” | matching tattoos with my brother, cause no matter what we got each other.

Confessions

  1. #MeToo. If I say no, that doesn’t mean convince/coerce me. Listen the first time.
  2. I battle with imposter syndrome and severe anxiety DAILY. I am working on it. I am working on it by putting myself into more uncomfortable And working on my confidence especially when it comes to school. I know that my research and my academic perspective is necessary.
  3. I honestly feel every emotion super deeply. I’m not sure why but I do. And I also take on other people’s experiences and emotions and experience them myself. It’s hard but a gift.
  4. I am generally the person that everyone goes to with their problems, however, I have a hard time trusting people with my problems.
  5. I worry A LOT about being a Black woman whose professional life is BOMB but whose personal life is lacking. I feel like most people want me to focus solely on my professional life and graduate school, but my personal life is equally (if not more) important to me. I struggle with trying to balance both of these circles.
  6. I love blogging and vlogging – but sometimes I worry that my content isn’t that exciting or engaging enough to keep folks interested in what I have to say or produce (on YouTube).

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Lessons

  1. It is okay not to be okay. I have learned this really within the past year or so. With the passing of my dearest friend last year, losing my uncle a few days ago, dealing with a lot of rejections for graduate school, insecurities – I have been dealing with a lot lately. And honestly, I have been trying to hold it all together, but I can’t. It’s unhealthy for me to try to hold everything in. BUT I have found solace in confiding in the very few people I trust.
  2. Experiencing multiple emotions at one time is absolutely normal and you are not going crazy.
  3. Closure, for me, is such a blessing and a curse. A blessing when it closes a chapter nicely, however more often than not has been a curse and made me feel worse than not knowing.
  4. As much as I believe that I need to be superwoman, I cannot save everyone or do everything at once. It is okay if the only person I save is myself.
  5. I am learning that my worth is not dependent on ANYBODY’s ability or disability to see or acknowledge it.
  6. Change is inevitable, and the quicker you can learn to adapt or roll with the changes the better it will be.
  7. Sometimes you just have to go with the flow. If you know me, you know I am such a planner and type A – but I am learning to just let go of my strict plans and remain strict about my goals.
  8. (BONUS) I am learning how to say no (and you should too!). For years I thought that saying no implied that I didn’t like someone or was trying to be confrontational. However sometimes, saying no is the kindest thing you can do for yourself or someone else.

Challenge: Do you have any Fun Facts, Confession, Lesson you’d like to share? JOIN THE CHALLENGE – OR share below 🙂

I challenge Samantha of Melanin Project Blog and Khari of Twelve-Eight

Best,

-Tanesha Renae

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Dear Best friends or more,

So hi Ladies and Company, I just graduated [from high school]. And there’s this guy and he has been my boy best friend the whole way through my senior year of high school. He was talking to my friend and having sex with her. But he didn’t want a relationship with her. She thought that she could keep him that way, you know with sex. And me and him being “best friends,” we workout together, go bike riding together, talk on the phone for hours and are always there for each other. I like him a lot but considering the fact that he was kinda with my friend, i dont know. My feelings don’t have an on and off switch. Am I wrong for wanting to be with him, since I’m pretty sure he likes me back but he’s been with my friend? – Best friends or more.

Hi sweetie,

I don’t think that your feelings are wrong, but I would not act on these feelings, for numerous reasons. The first reason is because this is your friend, your boy best friend. You don’t want to jeopardize/ruin your friendship over these feelings, that may or may not be reciprocated. The second reason is because even though they (your boy best friend and your friend) aren’t in a committed relationship, they are still engaging “activities,” which could potentially grow into a relationship (It also could not – we never know with these things). Even though he says doesn’t want to have a relationship with the friend, he’s already smashing. As a woman, and young lady you really only have two options: (1) approach your friend and tell her how you feel and ask her to back off, or (2) tell her how you feel about the best friend and tell her you want her to be happy so you are backing off.

If it was me, honestly I would pull a Frozen and just let it go. You just graduated high school, and there will be plenty more (better) fish in the sea for you!

Keep It Classy, 

T.Renae

When I Saw Him…

I heard on this poetry video, on youtube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tpVLLq7KQyE), that “your poetry starts when you start telling the truth,” this poem is full on truth. I wrote this about that feeling when , and you almost fall in love, with his physical features. So please be gentle with the feedback, because this is my real first poem. So here we go:

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When I saw him across the room, I felt like my feet had been taken from me, and had been replaced with soft and fluffy marshmallows. As if they had just been set ablaze during a fall night. Marshmallows like the clouds in a clear blue sky, limitless to gravity, and the world, pure and barely there.

I watched him talk to the surrounding persons, he beamed the heavens opened up and glimmered down on me from the deepest depths of his soul, if I should be so lucky.

I studied his face, like I was in the library at three am, studying for a final in biochemistry, and I slept through the entire semester. His face looked like God had reached down personally to chisel in every one of his features, just for my eyes to admire. If I would be so blessed that God could favor me so much, to have him in my presence.

There I stood, a wide-eyed child at Disney Land for the very first time, as he shifted the room, when he graced the floor with his feet, around the room from table to table. I took mental notes as fate and the world converged at the wrinkle of his brow, when deep in conversation.

And when he laughed. It sounded like the most beautiful thunder, that God himself made into a symphony of His joy. His joy that he crammed into a mason jar, compacted so tight that when bursts, it bellows through your soul and knocks the wind straight out of your lungs.

His smile was the sunshine in Seattle, after all the rain clouds have been swept aside, nobody was ready for that brightness that came down, the warmth that it brought. His skin was marble, smooth, and beautiful like the softest fabric that could ever grace mine.

I thought if I could just swindle one look, so that moment could be forever etched in my mind, frozen in one moment where I saw heaven deep in the pools of milk chocolate that were his eyes. He would look into mine; seeing beauty at it’s rawest form, so pure as if it was fresh snow in the middle of December or dew along the grass early one summer morning. He would see the future right there deep in the depths of my soul.

If I only he would look my way, and if he did. I would listen to every word he had to say, barely talking. Just listening, savoring the velvet notes of his voice as the bounced through my eardrums, and boomeranged in my head for all of infinity.

-T.Renae

Building A Better Me

Most of my life I found happiness with other people, I felt I needed to be surrounded by a lot of people to feel validated or I had to be in a relationship to feel beautiful but once I was alone I felt empty, unattractive and envious of those who had it better than me. Of course with age comes wisdom and I understood you don’t need a lot of people around you to feel happy.  You have to know your self-worth and every things else will come. Before I started Hampton I knew I had to really work on being myself and knowing who I am. I’ve learned the hard way, you can’t allow others to have so much control over your happiness and the way you act. When being yourself, you may lose those people who you thought were your friends but God will place people in your life that will help you grow into the person you need to be. When building a better you there are steps you have to take and I’d like to share a few steps I’ve taken. Even though I’m not finished growing I’ve come along way thanks to prayer and support from my loved ones.

When building a better you the most important step you must take is learning yourself and realizing your self-worth. Self-worth is the sense of one’s own value or worth as a person. Before you realize your self-worth you try to find validation through the attention of others. You need someone to compliment you or you need guys to hit on you before you realize how beautiful you are.  Then when you’re alone or no one validates you, you  think you’re having an off day. Once you comprehend your self-worth you don’t need all of that, you know without a doubt you are beautiful and a person would be honored to have you. When you’re confident in yourself you have a certain glow about you and no matter what you have on or how you look you no longer need their validation. Make sure you tell yourself you’re beautiful every day!!!!

Another big step is examining the people around you. Sometimes God puts people in your life for a season so don’t try to make them permanent because that will only affect you in the long run. God will give you signs if should remove people from your circle, you just have to relax and listen. Surround yourself with people who want the best for you, who will help you grow and who have your back. You don’t need a lot of friends, QUALITY OVER QUANTITY! Other than your parents your friends have a huge influence on how you act and behave, so choose your friends wisely. Make sure you and your friends complement each other and they accept you for you.

One of the prayers I pray:

Lord thank you for your many blessings. Lord please examine me, continue to mold me into the individual you want me to be. Remove all the negative influences in my life and please continue to bless me and my loved ones. In Your precious son’s name, I pray. Amen.

More steps to come!

– A. Rochell

New Year, New You!

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Ways to create a better year

  1. Confess to and forgive those who have hurt you. Make sure that those who have hurt you know exactly how they hurt you, and why you were hurt. Tell them, it doesn’t really matter how, just do it. Then forgive them; you don’t even have to tell that they have been forgiven. You forgiving them is for you and only you. Breathe and let go.
  2. Be realistic about your resolutions and goals in life. You should always have goals, and when you set them they should be achievable. You need to make sure that you know what these goals are, and the steps that you need to take to make them happen.
  3. Affirm positivity in your life. Make a conscious effort to work on you and your happiness. Let go of being the victim. Let go of every negative feeling, person, and thing in your life.
  4. Happiness. You need to rely on you, and solely you, for your happiness. Your happiness is the only priority, no one else’s. Do not allow anyone to doubt you, including yourself. Learn to enjoy time by yourself. Only do things that you want to do, nothing more, and nothing less. And remember, “don’t let the sadness of your past, and the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present.”
  5. Take breaks from social media. Go outside, do something! Learn a new skill, or read a book! Allow your mind to take breaks from the constant inflow of information. Give yourself time to be you.
  6. Do not give up ever; everything is not going to be shits and giggles. There are going to be extremely hard days, but you cannot let those get the best of you. There are too many good days ahead for you to miss out. Just be sure to pick yourself up after 24 hours max, and keep going because you are worth it.

Keep it classy,

– T.Renae