Sunday Soapbox: Don’t Live In Fear

Fear is defined as an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain or a threat. Even if the fear is illogical or nonexistent – it still so causes distress on your body. Our bodies are naturally to equip to handle day to day stressors and fears but perpetual fear and stress causes wear and tear on our bodies.

Fear can even cause you not to do things you once enjoyed. I feel like I live in a constant state of fear – I’m afraid of not getting into grad school, letting people who believe in me down, someone hurting me or my brother (or any family for that matter), afraid of hurting someone’s feelings and the list goes on. And it sucks. I feel like always having to push past that fear becomes so overwhelming that it drowns out the other positive feelings in my life.

But as I am living with this fear and learning how to deal with it – I often find that the fears are mostly in my own head – thought up from an overactive imagination. Sometimes I have to remind myself that this fear won’t kill me – it might hurt a little, worry me a lot, and physically cause me to be uncomfortable but I won’t die.

I saw on Pinterest once that you must “starve your fears,” which I didn’t fully understand until now. One of the main ways not to feed your fears, is to do whatever it is that scares you. For me, it’s applying for different programs or asking former professors for letters of recommendations or even going to Walmart alone. For you, it might be conquering your fear of heights or standing up for yourself when you’re not being treated respectfully – Whatever it is – do it anyway.

Another way is to purposefully counteract the fearful thoughts with more confident, strong ones. Sometimes you’ll have to go to a person with a strong, confident voice to counteract your fearful thoughts. My go-to person is my mother because she’s almost too straightforward and is practically fearless. Whenever I start to have fearful thoughts, I think about my mother telling me, “what’s the worst thing that will happen?”

Don’t let your fears control your life. You are the captain of your fate. 

What ways do you conquer your fears? Share below in the comments. 

XOXO,

-Tanesha 

Monday Thoughts: Face Your Fears

Happy Monday Everyone! My internship wanted us to have some “lasting memories” and team building activities before the program ends. So they paid for us to go to this Adventure Park in Virginia Beach. So basically, it’s like a ropes obstacle course up in the trees. So I have a slight extreme fear of heights. I had already decided earlier in the week that I was not going to get up in the trees – they can’t make me do anything, right?

So fast forward to getting there, I spent 30 minutes debating if I was actually going to go up in the course. Mind you, this is probably the safest way to go climbing they have steel ropes that can hold up to 500 pounds. I finally go out there on the ropes and I felt so connected with God. Possibly because I was scared out of my mind, but I feel like my faith increased by like 50 million. It was just me and God, and my friend in front of me screaming for me to “keep going.” Afterwards, I felt so good. I accomplished something on my bucket list, as well as faced my fear. I feel like I can do anything I set my mind to with a little prayer and faith.


I encourage all of you to do something that scares you. I believe that doing something that scares you, builds your confidence up. Even if it is something slight like making a phone call, doing mental math, public speaking, or even talking to your crush.

Go Forth and conquer your fears, as well as build your confidence.

Love Always,

– Tanesha.

Motivational Monday: Conquering the Fear of the Unknown

As my friends and I’s undergrad years come to a close, we all come to the point of self-doubt, fear and confusion. We all are trying to figure out what’s next, did we take advantage of all the things accessible to us or are we even prepared for those next steps in life? Undergrad at an HBCU (historically black college/university) has spoiled us with amazing teachers and professors, who were there every step of the way but as we step into the real world we all have a little doubt.

I’ll speak for myself and say I am scared and overwhelmed because for some reason I’m really starting to doubt my ability to succeed. We all have a fear of failure but we can’t let that fear scare us from succeeding in life. Nothing in life will come easy, everyday things become more challenging to abstain but you have to fight through it. You can have a little pity party because I have those but you can’t let that party take over your life, or overwhelm you. We have to take the steps in order to succeed, talking to some of your professors, researching up on the different steps, planning ahead, having multiple plans, and being ready to step out on faith. Our first and best step is talking to our professors because they have gone through similar paths and situations. Yes that can be scary but it’s worth a shot down your road of success.

This semester is the time to get out of your comfort zone because your time is winding down. Let’s get out of a comfort zone, get out of our pity party and get ready to conquer the rest of our college years. We can do this!

-A. Rochell