Growth.

Growth.

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The crazy thing about growth is that it is almost inevitable. There are very few things in life that stay exactly the same from birth till death and most of them aren’t even alive. August it’s the eighth month and I’ve heard that means it’s the month of new beginnings. I’ve seen so many posts about I’m ready to grow, this month is going to be all about growth, growing and glowing, etc.

However, I haven’t seen very many posts about people being ready to be stretched in in unimaginable ways or being uncomfortable for seasons (not just one but for multiple seasons). In your season of growth you may have to let go of some things that you have been holding onto you so that you’ll be able to grow. These are things such as friendships, relationships, outdated goals and even your comfort zone. Holding onto a negative relationship or friendship stunts your growth. You won’t be able to grow in the way that you need to by holding onto what you want – you need both hands to be open to accept this newfound growth.

I think about a flower, if the flower is in a bad environment it won’t bloom. This is the same for you if you’re in a bad environment or surrounded by bad things or people you won’t be able to bloom to your fullest potential . Sure you might grow a little but it’ll never be as much as you could’ve. The conditions have to be just right for that flower to bloom, and even then the little seed is stretched and expanding in ways that were previously unforeseen. You could even think about a little caterpillar in the same way.

I have personally just came out of what I believe to be a tremendous season of growth. Growth seemed cool until I was actually going through it. I’m not gonna lie and say that my season of growth was perfect. I was praying for God to grow me in “tremendous ways,” but when I was actually being stretched and growing – I was low-key miserable. I was upset and I felt like things were not getting better and that my situation was actually getting worse. But as soon as I accepted the fact that this was a type of growing pain, things started to change for me. My outlook on the situation changed immensely. I started looking for things to push me more outside of my comfort zone than I already was. I figured since I’m already out of this box I might as well keep going.

The hardest part was actually realizing that this season of growth was not going to kill me. As much as it hurt, as uncomfortable I was, as unhappy I was – THIS WAS NOT GOING TO KILL ME. I think once I realized that I wasn’t going to die things started to turn around for me. I really had to realize that some of the best things are born of the struggle. And honestly if I had been given them, the first time I even asked for them – I wouldn’t have been appreciative of it. I would have just looked at it just another thing.

Basically to summarize, if you are looking to grow, be prepared for the growing pains that come with them.

Are there some areas in your life that you are looking to grow in?? What are they? Share below in the comments! I would love to hear about them!

XOXO,

– Tanesha Renae

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Tanesha, What Happened??

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Okay y’all, so I know with the last life update I said I was going to do better with posting And then I barely did any better! I promise this time I am really going to get better with this! I have already started scheduling out posts! (If I don’t get better, send me an email and yell at me. Well don’t really yell because I’m sensitive).

I am so so sorry, but sometimes life happens! Good news is I got accepted into this wonderful, incredible, magnificent Post-Baccularaute/ Graduate School Fellowship! Basically I had a little less than a month to get everything ready and together for me to move to *drum roll* Pittsburgh! So basically I moved 7 hours away from my home and family to embark on this wonderful (yet scary) adventure.

If I were to tell you that I was not feeling any anxiety about this, I would be lying to you! Moving out has been more difficult than I gave it credit for. Not only is moving physically exhausting (like I never want to move again, ever!), but its also mentally exhausting for me. I wanted nothing more for over a year to be able to move out into my own apartment away from my parents. But, the reality of it is I am very lonely without them. I really thought I was ready, however, my emotions proved that was lie.

I am slowly getting adjusted to being on my own though, and it is proving to great. It takes time to get used to new things. But if I would’ve waited until I felt I was ready to do anything, I would still be standing on the side of the pool and never would have jumped in.

If you are waiting to do something, this is your sign to just do it! Apply for that job, reach out to that old friend, look into grad school programs that you consider to be out of your league, shot your shoot with someone you’re interested in! JUST DO IT. The results will astound you. You owe it yourself to at least try. I am rooting for you!

Talk to you soon.

XOXO,

– Tanesha Renae

Tuesday Morning Thoughts: The Glo’ Up

Let me tell you what is the hardest thing in the entire world – growing up. Not just physically, but mentally as well. I don’t know why it is so hard, possibly because we get so comfortable with the way we are, that once we try to change it up our minds and bodies are like WOAH THERE, GIRLFRIEND.

The older I get I realize that the maturation/growing up/the glo’ up process is hard. It is uncomfortable and sometimes even painful. Think about a caterpillar. At first, the little bug is just living his life then suddenly, his world is turned upside down. It has to suddenly wrap itself up in a small cocoon, which I imagine is very uncomfortable. So he is in this cramped space and then is growing – his body doing things it’s never done before, etc. He’s stuck and cramped and spending a lot of time thinking about what is happening and self-reflecting. And all he can do is literally go through that process. But the end result is a BEAUTIFUL butterfly.

You have to go thru some things first. But the end result is always so incredibly worth it. I know I’m maturing every day and I’m proud of myself. And you should be too if you are in this period of growth.

Keep Growing and Stay Blessed.

– Tanesha.

Thank Your Ex-Boyfriend.

Sometimes you just have to thank your ex-boyfriend.

A few Sundays ago my father’s sermon was titled, “Enough is Enough” from Mark 5:25-34. The part of his sermon that stuck out the most to me is this story. It was about a girl who had grown so much in her life. The short version of the story was this young lady had the minister come over to bless her new home. While there, the minister saw a picture of a man on her table. The minister asked the woman was this man her friend, cousin or brother but she quickly explained to him that he was her ex-boyfriend. I kid you not all of us women in the church was like “oh no! Warning! Unhealthy! She must be crazy!”

My dad laughs then continues his story, the woman left this picture of her ex-boyfriend because without the challenges and heartbreak he put her through, she wouldn’t be the woman she is today. After they broke up, she grew so much in her ministry with God, learned more about her self-worth and was able to face challenges because the situation made her stronger. So her reasoning for keeping the picture of the kitchen table was a reminder to thank him for helping her get to the place where she was today.

Now keeping a picture on the kitchen table might be a bit extreme but the moral of the story stuck with me. When we experience a negative break up, initially we dwell on all the negatives. I also do this myself. When actually we need to focus more on what we learned from those relationships and grow from those experiences. As women, we dwell so much on the hurt and pain that man caused us, but the key is to learn and grow. We have to push through the hurt and use the pain to push us to higher heights. The key is to dwell on the lessons learned and to focus on your growth in the process.

Therefore, let’s thank our exes for helping to end that chapter so we can focus on what God has in store. Trust and believe this will not be easy but we have to stop running from our pain. We have to face our pain and allow it to push us into all we have ever wanted and needed. I’m not saying keep a picture (unless it’s one you really look bomb in) but keep those memories as they push you into a more powerful, peaceful and purposeful you!

Love Always,

– A. Rochell

21 things I’ve learned since turning 21.

Happy June 2ND, also known as MY HALF BIRTHDAY!! It is official – today at 1:50ish am, I have been 21 years old for entire 6 months! Crazy right? Normally I don’t celebrate this day, however I thought with June being “Love Yourself” Month here at the site, I would talk about some of the things I’ve learned in the last six months as a form of self-reflection.

  1. Not everyone has the same moral code and values as you were raised with.
  2. Do not expect anything from anyone, so you’re not disappointed.
  3. It’s OK to do things alone.
  4. Breaking out of your comfort zone, is addictive.
  5. “And if not, God is still good.”
  6. You won’t get every opportunity; give others a chance to be great.
  7. I am not ready for children yet: babysitting is enough. And that is okay.
  8. It’s okay to be an introvert and extrovert!
  9. I will not and cannot make everyone happy, while maintaining my own happiness.
  10. Life is hard, but I am BARELY more than equipped to handle it.
  11. I deserve more than I give myself credit for.
  12. I am not ready for a real adult 9-5-work life. I have to work my own hours, or at least not work until after 10 AM.
  13. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and I am the beholder.
  14. People are always going to have something to say about your goals and life plans – remember they are your plans not anyone else.
  15. Just because everyone is doing “more real life” things such as having kids, getting engaged, and married, and having jobs, does not mean that you are not where you are supposed to be in life.
  16. Don’t be discouraged by critics of your goals – there are so many critics without credentials.
  17. Continue to be great, and let your light shine on the world.
  18. WORK HARD – at every single thing you do. Give no less than 100% to everything you do.
  19. Always behave kinder than you feel, you never know what someone else is going through.
  20. Love fearlessly.
  21. God loves you, no matter how short you fall, or how badly you mess up. He still loves and cares about you.

Keep It Classy, 

-T.Renae