Happy Birthday to Me!

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Happy Birthday to Me!

It’s my 24th birthday – and I gotta admit I’m feeling a little weird. This will be my first birthday without doing something to celebrate with my parents, and honestly it is kinda bumming me out. But I refuse to be sad on my birthday (plus ain’t nobody got time for that, I have a whole final due on Monday). This year, instead of reflecting on what I’ve already learned – I want to focus on changing for the better. The past year has been very revealing to me about the type of person that I want to be. Not because I am unhappy with who I am, because let’s face it – I’m pretty lit. But rather because next year, at 25, I want to be happier and just overall better as a person. God has put it in my heart to start laying the ground work in my 24th year, so that the next quarter of my life will be the best.

My Goals are as followed:

Stop Allowing Folks to Treat You Like You’re Regular. I have this really bad habit of allowing people to just treat me any type of way. It is because growing up and even into my undergrad days, I used to be really afraid of being alone and not having any friends. But now, after moving to Pittsburgh alone, I’ve realized that – I don’t need them. I pride myself in being a good friend to people and if they don’t want to act right – that’s on them. Friends are great and as much as I want to have that “group of girlfriends” – I can’t keep trying and trying and trying.  Especially when I’m not reaping any of the benefits. If you’re my friend cool, but if I feel like I’m putting in more than I am going to Imma fall back and stop expecting that reciprocation. I’m still gunna be there for you if you need to be as a listening ear. I just have to stop expecting them to do the same.

Live More In Love and Be Positive. Most people who know me know that I am a pretty optimistic person. But sometimes my positive energy gets hit with other people’s negativity and I absorb it. Not on purpose, but it happens. I want to be able to keep my positivity and energy clear of other people’s baggage. Which is sometimes really hard for me because I take on other people’s stress often. Also, I want to live in love more. I wrote a blog post about how to put love in your daily lives. But I want to be a more loving and kind person. When people are around me, I want them to instantly feel loved and cared for. There was a girl once at Hampton, while I didn’t know her personally, I could see and feel the energy she radiated. I want that.

More Jesus. For a few months now, I have been feeling like something is missing from my life. I felt like all this good was happening around me, but still something was missing. And honestly, it was yesterday that it hit me. I wasn’t spending as much time with God as I should be. So this next year, I want to take my relationship with God to the next level. I feel like I haven’t been taking my relationship with Him as seriously as I should be. But starting today, I am recommitting myself to God, His word, My Prayers, and His people. I will be studying His word and doing daily prayers – every day. No excuses. God has done so much for me, the VERY LEAST I could do is spend time with Him.

There are probably more things, but these are going to be my main focus right now. I am so excited about my next year of growth and wisdom. 23 was a year of getting comfortable with being uncomfortable, growth and new opportunities. I cannot wait to see what 24 brings.

Love yall bunches.

– Tanesha

SUNDAY (A day late) SOAPBOX: Don’t settle for less!

Let me tell you, I had a breakdown earlier this week. I’m not exactly sure what caused the breakdown but I started to feel like I am suddenly settling with my life. I began to think, maybe this is what my life is going to be – I’m going to live at home forever, not get into graduate school, not find the love of my life and a bunch of other things. I got caught into a negative rut, thinking maybe I don’t deserve all things I was longing for and wanted for so long. But then in the back of my mind, a thought occurred – if you truly feel like you deserve these things, why at the first sign of adversity or an obstacle comes up, you’re questioning your worthiness to receive it? (Print that out and hang it somewhere!)

I wonder why I do this to myself, I get so worked up about things that are largely out of my control at the present moment and then begin to feel like I am undeserving of the things that God has told me specifically are for me. It’s crazy but you cannot settle for mediocrities. There are ENOUGH mediocre people in the world, you don’t need to be another one nor do you deserve to be one.

This quote has literally helped me deal with this: “Don’t settle for average. Bring your best to the moment. Then, whether it fails or succeeds, at least you know you gave all you had. We need to live the best that’s in us.” – Angela Bassett. Now consider this? Right now, if you’re bringing your very best to this moment and every single moment in the future, you will get everything that you deserve. You’ll get the success you want, the love life you deserve, the body you want – the possibilities are literally endless.

Stay Encouraged Boo & Don’t Settle,

– Tanesha 🙂

SUNDAY SOAPBOX: Happy New Year!

Welcome to the first page of the 2017 book! You have 365 days to make this year the best one yet! Remember a minute of unhappiness is 60 seconds of happiness you are losing. I know, at least for me, 2016 was uncomfortable. But as my mentor once said, “Growth isn’t comfortable, and it shouldn’t be.” I hope that 2016 brought you the trials, tribulations, and lessons that you needed to make 2017 your year. I know everyone says “Oh, this year will be my year!” like every year, but I truly believe that it will be the year you need it to be. It will be exactly what you need it to be, trust me.

For me, this year I want to be better overall. I want to become healthier, happier, more involved with things that bring my life joy, closer to the Lord and not sweating the small things anymore.

What are some things you want to manifest in the new year – a new job, career change, happiness? Share below in the comments!

XOXO,

– Tanesha

Gratefulness – 

Happy Thanksgiving/ Indigenous People Day to everyone celebrating! And Happy Thursday to everyone who is not! 🙂

 
Today, I went with my family to volunteer at a church to feed the homeless and it really hit me that I am so blessed to have a roof over my head and food readily available. It was just so heartwarming to see these people who don’t have much, still have smiles on their faces and laughter in their hearts. Many times we take for granted for the things we have in life.

 
Thanksgiving (and this time of year) is always a time where gratefulness comes to everyone’s mind, however, I think everyone should be grateful year round. There are so many great things happening to us every day, that we don’t even acknowledge. So I encourage you to take a moment every day for the rest of the year to be grateful for something.

 

Be blessed!

 
XOXO,

 
– Tanesha

Grown Up Life Goals

So now that I am about to embark on the next chapter of my life. Honestly, goal setting has been a part of my life ever since I can remember. I saw on Facebook once that ” Goals are just dreams with deadlines.” How can you ever accomplish anything without knowing what it is that you want to accomplish?

Goal setting is pretty straight forward. You should use the cheesy acronym S.M.A.R.T to help set and achieve your goals.

S is for Specific.

M is for Measurable.

A is for Action-Oriented.

R is for Realistic.

T is Time-Based.

Some of my personal goals include: building my self-confidence higher by working out more and eating healthier (cut out all these random carbs), start dating again (9 months from now), face some more fears (especially my fear of bugs), move out and become more independent.

While my professional goals are get into a good graduate school with a strong emphasis in research, publish my first peer-reviewed article into an academic journal, perfect my elevator speech, recreate my personal statement and cover letters, and re-brand myself.

Even more important than just having these goals in your head, is writing them down. I don’t know about you, but whenever I write anything down it becomes more real to me. I would suggest you write your goals down. Maybe in a notebook where you can journal on your progress, or maybe on sticky notes that you place on your bathroom mirror, or even just down on a piece of paper that you carry around in your wallet. I think you should look at your list of goals at least once a day. The more you see them, the more you will work for them, the more progress you will make on them, and then before you know it you will be accomplishing so much.

I believe that setting personal (as well as professional) goals are extremely important.

What are some of your goals for the rest of the year?? Share below in the comments.

Be Blessed, and Love always,

– Tanesha 🙂

 

Happy Anniversary Mom & Dad!

Today is my parent’s 25th anniversary of marriage!

My parents are like real life relationship goals for me. They’re married, have kids, have great careers and traveling the world – what more can you ask for !? Growing up in this house full of love, I’ve learned a few things about life, love, and marriage. I’ve decided to share the top 3 love lessons (that I have learned) with you all.

  1. Love is a decision. After the feeling is long and gone, and you have to DECIDE to love one another. It’s not always pretty and cute and fun, sometimes it is hard and rough-looking. Every day for the rest of your life you have to decide to love your significant other, choose who you will love wisely.
  2. Love (and marriage) is friendship amplified.You have to be friends. When my parents first met, they didn’t like each other (you have to get them to tell you the story), but now they are the best of friends. Friends fuss and fight, but at the end of the day, they are still there for each other when they are going through hard times. Also with true friendships (and marriage) you can depend on one another.
  3.  Love is patient. Your spouse or significant other is not going to be perfect (and neither are you for that matter). People make mistakes and unintentionally hurt each other, You have to be patient enough to realize “hey, my significant other is still growing up and maturing, so mistakes and unintentional hurts may happen.” I see so many folks out here that want a spouse that’s already established making 100K a year, flying them out to XYZ, etc.  But those same people aren’t willing to build with a person, so that they can get those things together.

Here’s a cute video tribute of my parents. 🙂 They’re super adorable!

I hope one day to have as happy of a marriage as they have.

Peace and Blessings to them.

– Tanesha

How To Recover From A Bad Day

Let me tell y’all. I had the shittiest of days today at work/internship. My overall boss yelled at us for about thirty minutes about how crappy our first rough draft of the proposal was, the entire system is a hot mess, the building was super cold and I cried in front of my work Bae. Plus all the things that are going on in my personal life with my ex-boyfriend, academic career, and everything. Needless to say, today was not my day. But I got home and I was determined not to let this bad day linger any longer. Here are some tips I use to get rid of a “Bad Day Funk.”

  • Take a super long shower (at least 30 minutes)
  • Do a facial
  • Go get a manicure/pedicure
  • Take a Nap
  • Meditate
  • Get on Tumblr
  • Call your mom
  • Watch Cartoons (or whatever your favorite show is…) (I particularly am in favor of starting a Netflix binge)
  • Facetime a friend
  • Use a coloring book
  • Listen to loud music
  • Get a smoothie
  • Pig out on junk food
  • Make a new Spotify playlist.
  • Vent to your best friend
  • Order Take Out Food
  • Stay in Bed

These are just a few suggestions that I do! What are some things you do to recover from a bad day? Share below in the comments!

Love Always,

– Tanesha (with help from Dillion)

Monday Thoughts: Face Your Fears

Happy Monday Everyone! My internship wanted us to have some “lasting memories” and team building activities before the program ends. So they paid for us to go to this Adventure Park in Virginia Beach. So basically, it’s like a ropes obstacle course up in the trees. So I have a slight extreme fear of heights. I had already decided earlier in the week that I was not going to get up in the trees – they can’t make me do anything, right?

So fast forward to getting there, I spent 30 minutes debating if I was actually going to go up in the course. Mind you, this is probably the safest way to go climbing they have steel ropes that can hold up to 500 pounds. I finally go out there on the ropes and I felt so connected with God. Possibly because I was scared out of my mind, but I feel like my faith increased by like 50 million. It was just me and God, and my friend in front of me screaming for me to “keep going.” Afterwards, I felt so good. I accomplished something on my bucket list, as well as faced my fear. I feel like I can do anything I set my mind to with a little prayer and faith.


I encourage all of you to do something that scares you. I believe that doing something that scares you, builds your confidence up. Even if it is something slight like making a phone call, doing mental math, public speaking, or even talking to your crush.

Go Forth and conquer your fears, as well as build your confidence.

Love Always,

– Tanesha.

Monday Thoughts: Give Back.

Over the weekend, my mother and I volunteered with the Hashtag Lunchbag Initiative and it was so rewarding. According to their  website, Hashtag LunchBag is

“#HashtagLunchbag is a humanity service movement dedicated to empowering and inspiring humanity to reap the benefits of giving through the use of social media. We create and use bagged lunches, complete with love messages, as a vessel to spread this love and share our experiences to inspire others.”


So after we had decorated, and packed all the lunches, we went to a local neighborhood. We gave them to some families and a lot of children. It really got me thinking about how fortunate I really. Most of us have food, a home, and probably internet or a cellphone – things that we think are just standard for living. However some people don’t have that.


I just want to encourage everyone this week to donate some time, or money to a cause. Honestly, you should feel a little obligated because of how blessed you are. Maybe give an hour or two at the food bank or try to volunteer at the Boys & Girls Club, or make some lunches and drive around and give them to homeless folks. Just do something to give back to people less fortunate, because we are all the human race.

Just give a little, because you have a lot.

Stay blessed,

– Tanesha Renae