Hola #AskTheLadies, i think I am still in love with this guy, but y’know I’m unsure because we don’t talk like we used to, partly because he’s also dealing with another girl. He hasn’t put titles on either of our relationships. We had issues and I could no longer cope with his lies. I’ve told him if he wants to talk to her, he should leave me alone. The problem is he doesn’t want to . Well I didn’t give him a choice, and I left, though I was extremely upset that it couldn’t just be the 2 of us. We didn’t talk for over a month BUT he kept persisting. Calling me, texting me, facetiming me and so on. I’ve discovered that this other girl is still in the picture. I don’t understand why he wants to have me around when he has her. I just need help figuring out whether my strong feelings for him are love? or am i attached because of the chemistry we had? -In Love or Nahh
So I asked several young and old men, what they believed to be their biggest love lesson. Here are the results. They are rather interesting!
“Don’t get attached, too quickly. But don’t be scared to love.” – Preston, 15
“My biggest love lesson is keep chasing. The same chase that I had in the early stages is necessary for survival in the relationship. Complacency is the death of relationships so I have to keep trying and keep showing that I love the person I’m with and I still want them therefore I gotta keep chasing. Showing them the same amount of affection from day 1 to now. Without it everything kinda falls apart slowly.” – Chrispus, 21
“The biggest lesson I have learned, is that there is a difference between love and lust. When I was younger, I believed that the emotion I felt was love. Really I just luster after my partner. I wasn’t trying to spend time, or actually be involved with the other person. I was just trying to sleep with them. I feel bad for doing that. I should have tried to establish a mental and emotional relationship instead of just a physical one.” – Rainy, 24
“I learned that relationships are tools to learn about yourself and to learn about the world we live in. The end game isn’t always about having someone forever. It’s about understanding who we are in relation to everybody else.“ – David, 20
“I’ve seen many situations and been with many women with boyfriends and girlfriends so I’d have to say the lesson I’ve learned is…..don’t trust these….women that’ll fuck anything with two legs Haha” – Wilfred, 19
“Don’t let love distract you from your friends and family. At the end of the day, those people will be there for you if that relationship doesn’t work out.” -Devin, 23
“The biggest love lesson I have learn is patience. To be able to truly love someone you have to have patience. Patience in your partner changing into who you wish for them to be and patience for them when you change into who they wanna be. Then patience for love patience for what happens in your life’s together. Patience for when they are busy and you are not and really wish to talk to them. Patience is the key to a healthy and strong relationship.” -Charles, 21
“There has only been one time in my life where I have truly been in love. I never knew what it was like to be in love. I have learned what it means to love someone and loving them so much that you would do anything for them. I realized that the one love lesson that I have learned in my life is that there is a huge difference between loving someone and being in IN LOVE with someone. I have experienced it once but it didn’t last because of the situation we were in but I know I still love her. Maybe in the future we may cross paths again but I learned that in order to truly love someone you have to make sacrifices for that person and maybe sometimes go to the ends of the earth for them. For me, I am still learning to do that and I hope that through my lessons and my experiences I will be able to give just as much love to my significant other as I have gotten in the past.” – David, 22
“I feel that you should stay true to yourself. The right people will stick around, and the ones you would never expect ” Chad, 21
“The biggest lesson I’ve learned would have to be to not let my past relationships affect my level of trust for my current relationship .” – Justin, 21
“The biggest love lesson I have learned in my life would probably have to be that Love will always be a two way street. If both partners aren’t open and willing to love then it will never work out. In addition to that, even if both partners are on the same page outside influences can be the death of a relationship.” – Chris, 23
“My biggest love lesson I’ve learned for my age is that you can’t put your significant other on a pedestal. Not saying its a bad thing to think highly of your significant other and hold them at a higher standard, but we are all human. Everyone makes mistakes whether its as small as forgetting the toilet seat down or something bigger than that. If you put your significant other on a pedestal you’re setting yourself up for constant disappointment because you believe they can make no mistakes or do no wrong. And you don’t want to taint that perfect image you have of your significant other. Once you understand that no one is perfect, your relationship will go a lot smoother in my opinion. Just have to work with your significant other in order to grow into a stronger couple because you don’t want small things ruining a good relationship. ” -Philip, 20
“‘Embrace the unknown’ I realized that everything in my love life that did not go as I planned always worked out for the greater good. I have to continue to follow God purpose for my love life rather than my flesh. ” -Bryant, 21
“The biggest lesson about love that I learned is that no matter how prepared you are/think you are for the complications that come along with being in love you still will be pushed to your limits.” – Cordell, 28
“The biggest lesson I learned was to trust me heart and have faith. There’s someone out there for everyone and you’ll find that person when you lease expect it. Love yourself first before you love someone else because it’s not fair to them. Learn to be alone because once you know how to make yourself happy you won’t depend on someone else to do it for you.” -Kam, 27
I know I can definitely use some of these lessons in my own life.
What have been some of your biggest love lessons in life? Share in the comments below!
– Ladies and Company