SoapBox: Don’t Take It Personally.

Dealing With A Loss-2

People sometimes suck. Being the kind-hearted person I am, I am always expecting people to treat me the way I treat them. But that’s not always the case. People will hurt you, slander your name and not even think twice about it. Which is so strange to me because in school growing up we were always taught – “Treat others the way you want to be treated.”

But maybe that’s how they pull it off – the people who treat you poorly, never expect to be treated badly or are ever actually treated badly. When people don’t treat you with the same decency, respect or kindness that you have shown them, you could get super angry, irritated and upset. OR you could not take it personally. The way people treat others has everything to do with them, and hardly anything to do with the people receiving the actions. For example, if my friend Sally treats me terribly, that says more about Sally than it does about me – especially if I know that I’ve continually treated her kindly or with respect.

At least that’s how I look at it. So continue to treat people kindly and with love – it’s honestly the only way to live with a clear conscious and also it just feels better. 🙂

Love you all bunches,

– Tanesha J.

 

 

Advertisements

Dear Dying To Be Accepted,

Hey Ladies & Co, My fiancé’s mom absolutely hates me!!! How do I handle being with someone who’s mother hates me? Any advice? I don’t think I’ve done anything wrong, and with my fiance being a undercover momma’s boy – Their relationship is very strong, and I would never try and come between that however. I want to be accepted too. How can I try and improve the relationship with her? – Dying to be accepted.

Dear Dying To Be Accepted, First, congrats on your engagement!! Now on to the advice! It is important to remember that you are not marrying his momma, you are marrying that young man. Sometimes mothers don’t think anyone is good enough for their sons but as long as you know that you are making her son happy and treating him how he should be treated (and visa versa) – I wouldn’t worry about it too much. The best way to handle it in my opinion is to “kill her with kindness.” Even when she is being outright mean to you, ignore that behavior and be nice. It’ll probably annoy her at first, but then she should come around eventually. To improve the relationship, maybe invite her over for dinner and play cards, or go see a movie or even have a girls night just you and her! Just remember relationships are a two-way street, and you can’t force someone on the street if they aren’t trying to be on it. But like I said before, you are marrying that gentleman, not his mother. Continue to do you, and be happy. The rest will fall in place as it should.

Keep It Classy,

T.Renae

21 things I’ve learned since turning 21.

Happy June 2ND, also known as MY HALF BIRTHDAY!! It is official – today at 1:50ish am, I have been 21 years old for entire 6 months! Crazy right? Normally I don’t celebrate this day, however I thought with June being “Love Yourself” Month here at the site, I would talk about some of the things I’ve learned in the last six months as a form of self-reflection.

  1. Not everyone has the same moral code and values as you were raised with.
  2. Do not expect anything from anyone, so you’re not disappointed.
  3. It’s OK to do things alone.
  4. Breaking out of your comfort zone, is addictive.
  5. “And if not, God is still good.”
  6. You won’t get every opportunity; give others a chance to be great.
  7. I am not ready for children yet: babysitting is enough. And that is okay.
  8. It’s okay to be an introvert and extrovert!
  9. I will not and cannot make everyone happy, while maintaining my own happiness.
  10. Life is hard, but I am BARELY more than equipped to handle it.
  11. I deserve more than I give myself credit for.
  12. I am not ready for a real adult 9-5-work life. I have to work my own hours, or at least not work until after 10 AM.
  13. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and I am the beholder.
  14. People are always going to have something to say about your goals and life plans – remember they are your plans not anyone else.
  15. Just because everyone is doing “more real life” things such as having kids, getting engaged, and married, and having jobs, does not mean that you are not where you are supposed to be in life.
  16. Don’t be discouraged by critics of your goals – there are so many critics without credentials.
  17. Continue to be great, and let your light shine on the world.
  18. WORK HARD – at every single thing you do. Give no less than 100% to everything you do.
  19. Always behave kinder than you feel, you never know what someone else is going through.
  20. Love fearlessly.
  21. God loves you, no matter how short you fall, or how badly you mess up. He still loves and cares about you.

Keep It Classy, 

-T.Renae

View your life with kindsight. Stop beating yourself up about things from your past. Instead of slapping your forehead and asking, ‘What was I thinking,’ breathe and ask yourself the kinder question, ‘What was I learning?’

– Karen Salmansohn

I expect to pass through this world but once. Any good, therefore, that I can do or any kindness I can show to any fellow creature, let me do it now. Let me not defer or neglect it for I shall not pass this way again.

– Quaker Proverb