A Love Letter to Rejection

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To My Not-So-Dearest Friend, Rejection,

I am so sorry you get such a bad rep – I would say that you deserve better, but I am not sure that is the most fitting for you. You at least deserve for people to respect you.

You taught me what it means to be persistent.

You are so necessary in the world. And you have taught me so much about myself and about how I function than I can ever thank you for.

You taught me that every “no,” is an opportunity to learn something, gain more experiences, to enjoy the journey more and keep trying.

You taught me that you will not kill me. I spent years avoiding you, honestly, like the plague. I feared you. I thought that meeting you meant that I had failed in some way or form. But we both know that isn’t true.

You have changed me in many ways – you have allowed me to see my potential and the areas where I need to improve.

The more you come around, the easier it is to experience you. I am glad that I am learning to accept you more and more in my life.

You’ve pushed me out into the open waters of uncertainity and forced me to learn to float. To learn how to be in the “uncomfort zone” – where all my best work, my potential and my fears lie.

I won’t say that I love you, but I definitely need you in my life.

Best,

– Tanesha Renae

Let It Be Done In Love!

Let It Be Done In Love

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“Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us and offered himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God.” Ephesians 5:2 NLT

A few weeks ago on my YouTube channel, I talked about how to be a better person and one of the things I said to do is to do things with love. In the video, I didn’t go into a lot of practical ways to live in love so that’s what this blog post is about.

  1. Love yourself. This is first and foremost! I mean, honestly think about it – how can you live in love and let love follow freely from your heart if you don’t even love yourself first. Your heart should be filled to the brim with love and once you start to love yourself more it will overflow and pour out into everything you do and touch.
  2. Be Considerate. For me, this is done by considering other people’s feelings and what they might be going through in their lives. For example, if someone is being a poor friend to me, instead of lashing out, getting upset, or even cussing them out – I always first try to give the person the benefit of the doubt. Maybe my friend is under a lot of stress and pressure these days, or maybe this person doesn’t know they are being unkind.
  3. Perform Acts of Kindness. This one is pretty self-explanatory. You don’t have to go all out or even spend money (such as paying for the car behind you foods/Starbucks behind you). You could just hold the door for someone and say “I hope you have a blessed rest of your day,” or if you see someone frowning tell them hello! You never know what people are going through, and your smile or hello, or “have a great day,” might help them get through those tough situations in their life.
  4. Love encourages more love. The more you outwardly live your life with love, I firmly believe that the more love will return to your life. I honestly feel like the more I’ve been intentional about being kind and living in love – the happier I have been. I no longer allow people to upset me, and just love them in spite of themselves.

I hope this encourages you to live in love! What are some ways you will begin to live your life in love? Share below in the comments!

XOXO,

– Tanesha Renae

Valentine’s Day Impromptu Date Ideas

Happy Valentine’s Day

Some folks go out with their girls to dinner and movie (like a date with their girls), while others sit in the house and sulk. Honestly, my friends all live in different states and sitting in the house and sulking doesn’t sound appealing either. So what am I to do? I decided to come up with some impromptu “date ideas”! These are great ideas for you go out with your significant other, your girls, or even go out solo!

  1. Have an intense workout session.
  2. Go to a museum or an art gallery
  3. Buy Yourself some flowers or pick some!
  4. Get up early, make breakfast, and enjoy the quiet morning.
  5. Write yourself a love letter
  6. Send your girls a heartfelt text message (or call) about how much you love them.
  7. Go out to dinner (I love good food!!)
  8. Take a long walk in your favorite park
  9. Go to the library or Barnes & nobles to read for a while (I guarantee it won’t be crowded!)
  10. Get a mani/pedi – or even give yourself one at home!
  11. Go see that movie you’ve been waiting to see!
  12. Have a “Night In” – eat junk food and watch a movie marathon!

Don’t be forced to stay home on this day full of love – Enjoy the love you have received over the years and give some love away (maybe a random act of kindness?)

XOXO,

– Tanesha

 

SUNDAY (A day late) SOAPBOX: Don’t settle for less!

Let me tell you, I had a breakdown earlier this week. I’m not exactly sure what caused the breakdown but I started to feel like I am suddenly settling with my life. I began to think, maybe this is what my life is going to be – I’m going to live at home forever, not get into graduate school, not find the love of my life and a bunch of other things. I got caught into a negative rut, thinking maybe I don’t deserve all things I was longing for and wanted for so long. But then in the back of my mind, a thought occurred – if you truly feel like you deserve these things, why at the first sign of adversity or an obstacle comes up, you’re questioning your worthiness to receive it? (Print that out and hang it somewhere!)

I wonder why I do this to myself, I get so worked up about things that are largely out of my control at the present moment and then begin to feel like I am undeserving of the things that God has told me specifically are for me. It’s crazy but you cannot settle for mediocrities. There are ENOUGH mediocre people in the world, you don’t need to be another one nor do you deserve to be one.

This quote has literally helped me deal with this: “Don’t settle for average. Bring your best to the moment. Then, whether it fails or succeeds, at least you know you gave all you had. We need to live the best that’s in us.” – Angela Bassett. Now consider this? Right now, if you’re bringing your very best to this moment and every single moment in the future, you will get everything that you deserve. You’ll get the success you want, the love life you deserve, the body you want – the possibilities are literally endless.

Stay Encouraged Boo & Don’t Settle,

– Tanesha 🙂

Perfect Post-Break Up Playlist

Are you going through a tough break up and need a mini pick me up? I know for me, listening to certain “empowering” songs helps get me through the tough time of a break-up. Honestly, any kind of good music helps – AS LONG AS IT’S NOT SAD because we don’t have time for any more tears! Here are some of my favorite Post-Break Up Songs with their music videos AND my favorite lyric! (Please note: These are not in any particular order!)

  1. Shout Out to My Ex by Little Mix 
    My Favorite Lyric: “Even though you broke my heart in two, baby/ But I snapped right back, I’m so brand new, baby/ Boy, read my lips, I’m over you,”
  2. Send My Love (To Your New Lover) by Adele 
    My Favorite Lyric: “I’m giving you up/  I’ve forgiven it all/ You set me free, oh/ Send my love to your new lover/ Treat her better/ We’ve gotta let go of all of our ghosts/ We both know we ain’t kids no more,”
  3. Needed Me by Rihanna 
    Favorite Lyric: “Tryna fix your inner issues with a bad b*tch/ Didn’t they tell you that I was a savage?/ F*ck your white horse and a carriage,”
  4. Sorry by Beyoncé 
    Favorite Lyric: “I had enough/ I ain’t thinking ’bout you/ I ain’t thinking ’bout/ Middle fingers up/ Put them hands high/ Wave it in his face/ Tell ’em boy bye”
  5. Up Out My Face by Mariah Carey featuring Nicki Minaj
    Favorite Lyric: “If you see me walking by you/ Boy don’t you even speak/ Pretend you on the sofa/ And I’m on the TV”
  6. We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together by Taylor Swift 
    Favorite Lyric: “Uggg… so he calls me up and he’s like, “I still love you,”/ And I’m like… “I just… I mean this is exhausting, you know, like/ We are never getting back together. Like, ever””
  7. So What by P!NK 
    Favorite Lyric: “I guess I just lost my husband/ I don’t know where he went/ So I’m gonna drink my money/ I’m not gonna pay his rent (nope)/ I got a brand new attitude/ And I’m gonna wear it tonight”
  8. Stitches by Shawn Mendes 
    Favorite Lyric: “Got a feeling that I’m going under/ But I know that I’ll make it out alive/ If I quit calling you my lover/ (and) Move on/”
  9. Forever Don’t Last by Jazmine Sullivan
    Favorite Lyric: “Still think about the good times we had/ And how you used to make me laugh/ But, baby, I know most times we were miserable/ So every time I wanna call, baby, what always helps/ Is when I think of the pain, and I realize/ I’m better off by myself”
  10. Gives You Hell by The All-American Rejects
    Favorite Lyric: “When you see my face, hope it gives you hell, hope it gives you hell”

What are some of your favorite “Break Up” Songs? Share Below in the comments and we can have a huge playlist going!

XOXO,

– Tanesha

Grown Up Life Goals

So now that I am about to embark on the next chapter of my life. Honestly, goal setting has been a part of my life ever since I can remember. I saw on Facebook once that ” Goals are just dreams with deadlines.” How can you ever accomplish anything without knowing what it is that you want to accomplish?

Goal setting is pretty straight forward. You should use the cheesy acronym S.M.A.R.T to help set and achieve your goals.

S is for Specific.

M is for Measurable.

A is for Action-Oriented.

R is for Realistic.

T is Time-Based.

Some of my personal goals include: building my self-confidence higher by working out more and eating healthier (cut out all these random carbs), start dating again (9 months from now), face some more fears (especially my fear of bugs), move out and become more independent.

While my professional goals are get into a good graduate school with a strong emphasis in research, publish my first peer-reviewed article into an academic journal, perfect my elevator speech, recreate my personal statement and cover letters, and re-brand myself.

Even more important than just having these goals in your head, is writing them down. I don’t know about you, but whenever I write anything down it becomes more real to me. I would suggest you write your goals down. Maybe in a notebook where you can journal on your progress, or maybe on sticky notes that you place on your bathroom mirror, or even just down on a piece of paper that you carry around in your wallet. I think you should look at your list of goals at least once a day. The more you see them, the more you will work for them, the more progress you will make on them, and then before you know it you will be accomplishing so much.

I believe that setting personal (as well as professional) goals are extremely important.

What are some of your goals for the rest of the year?? Share below in the comments.

Be Blessed, and Love always,

– Tanesha 🙂

 

Tuesday Morning Thoughts: The Glo’ Up

Let me tell you what is the hardest thing in the entire world – growing up. Not just physically, but mentally as well. I don’t know why it is so hard, possibly because we get so comfortable with the way we are, that once we try to change it up our minds and bodies are like WOAH THERE, GIRLFRIEND.

The older I get I realize that the maturation/growing up/the glo’ up process is hard. It is uncomfortable and sometimes even painful. Think about a caterpillar. At first, the little bug is just living his life then suddenly, his world is turned upside down. It has to suddenly wrap itself up in a small cocoon, which I imagine is very uncomfortable. So he is in this cramped space and then is growing – his body doing things it’s never done before, etc. He’s stuck and cramped and spending a lot of time thinking about what is happening and self-reflecting. And all he can do is literally go through that process. But the end result is a BEAUTIFUL butterfly.

You have to go thru some things first. But the end result is always so incredibly worth it. I know I’m maturing every day and I’m proud of myself. And you should be too if you are in this period of growth.

Keep Growing and Stay Blessed.

– Tanesha.

Happy Anniversary Mom & Dad!

Today is my parent’s 25th anniversary of marriage!

My parents are like real life relationship goals for me. They’re married, have kids, have great careers and traveling the world – what more can you ask for !? Growing up in this house full of love, I’ve learned a few things about life, love, and marriage. I’ve decided to share the top 3 love lessons (that I have learned) with you all.

  1. Love is a decision. After the feeling is long and gone, and you have to DECIDE to love one another. It’s not always pretty and cute and fun, sometimes it is hard and rough-looking. Every day for the rest of your life you have to decide to love your significant other, choose who you will love wisely.
  2. Love (and marriage) is friendship amplified.You have to be friends. When my parents first met, they didn’t like each other (you have to get them to tell you the story), but now they are the best of friends. Friends fuss and fight, but at the end of the day, they are still there for each other when they are going through hard times. Also with true friendships (and marriage) you can depend on one another.
  3.  Love is patient. Your spouse or significant other is not going to be perfect (and neither are you for that matter). People make mistakes and unintentionally hurt each other, You have to be patient enough to realize “hey, my significant other is still growing up and maturing, so mistakes and unintentional hurts may happen.” I see so many folks out here that want a spouse that’s already established making 100K a year, flying them out to XYZ, etc.  But those same people aren’t willing to build with a person, so that they can get those things together.

Here’s a cute video tribute of my parents. 🙂 They’re super adorable!

I hope one day to have as happy of a marriage as they have.

Peace and Blessings to them.

– Tanesha

Monday Thoughts: Face Your Fears

Happy Monday Everyone! My internship wanted us to have some “lasting memories” and team building activities before the program ends. So they paid for us to go to this Adventure Park in Virginia Beach. So basically, it’s like a ropes obstacle course up in the trees. So I have a slight extreme fear of heights. I had already decided earlier in the week that I was not going to get up in the trees – they can’t make me do anything, right?

So fast forward to getting there, I spent 30 minutes debating if I was actually going to go up in the course. Mind you, this is probably the safest way to go climbing they have steel ropes that can hold up to 500 pounds. I finally go out there on the ropes and I felt so connected with God. Possibly because I was scared out of my mind, but I feel like my faith increased by like 50 million. It was just me and God, and my friend in front of me screaming for me to “keep going.” Afterwards, I felt so good. I accomplished something on my bucket list, as well as faced my fear. I feel like I can do anything I set my mind to with a little prayer and faith.


I encourage all of you to do something that scares you. I believe that doing something that scares you, builds your confidence up. Even if it is something slight like making a phone call, doing mental math, public speaking, or even talking to your crush.

Go Forth and conquer your fears, as well as build your confidence.

Love Always,

– Tanesha.

Monday Thoughts: Give Back.

Over the weekend, my mother and I volunteered with the Hashtag Lunchbag Initiative and it was so rewarding. According to their  website, Hashtag LunchBag is

“#HashtagLunchbag is a humanity service movement dedicated to empowering and inspiring humanity to reap the benefits of giving through the use of social media. We create and use bagged lunches, complete with love messages, as a vessel to spread this love and share our experiences to inspire others.”


So after we had decorated, and packed all the lunches, we went to a local neighborhood. We gave them to some families and a lot of children. It really got me thinking about how fortunate I really. Most of us have food, a home, and probably internet or a cellphone – things that we think are just standard for living. However some people don’t have that.


I just want to encourage everyone this week to donate some time, or money to a cause. Honestly, you should feel a little obligated because of how blessed you are. Maybe give an hour or two at the food bank or try to volunteer at the Boys & Girls Club, or make some lunches and drive around and give them to homeless folks. Just do something to give back to people less fortunate, because we are all the human race.

Just give a little, because you have a lot.

Stay blessed,

– Tanesha Renae