Let It Be Done In Love!

Let It Be Done In Love

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“Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us and offered himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God.” Ephesians 5:2 NLT

A few weeks ago on my YouTube channel, I talked about how to be a better person and one of the things I said to do is to do things with love. In the video, I didn’t go into a lot of practical ways to live in love so that’s what this blog post is about.

  1. Love yourself. This is first and foremost! I mean, honestly think about it – how can you live in love and let love follow freely from your heart if you don’t even love yourself first. Your heart should be filled to the brim with love and once you start to love yourself more it will overflow and pour out into everything you do and touch.
  2. Be Considerate. For me, this is done by considering other people’s feelings and what they might be going through in their lives. For example, if someone is being a poor friend to me, instead of lashing out, getting upset, or even cussing them out – I always first try to give the person the benefit of the doubt. Maybe my friend is under a lot of stress and pressure these days, or maybe this person doesn’t know they are being unkind.
  3. Perform Acts of Kindness. This one is pretty self-explanatory. You don’t have to go all out or even spend money (such as paying for the car behind you foods/Starbucks behind you). You could just hold the door for someone and say “I hope you have a blessed rest of your day,” or if you see someone frowning tell them hello! You never know what people are going through, and your smile or hello, or “have a great day,” might help them get through those tough situations in their life.
  4. Love encourages more love. The more you outwardly live your life with love, I firmly believe that the more love will return to your life. I honestly feel like the more I’ve been intentional about being kind and living in love – the happier I have been. I no longer allow people to upset me, and just love them in spite of themselves.

I hope this encourages you to live in love! What are some ways you will begin to live your life in love? Share below in the comments!

XOXO,

– Tanesha Renae

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Happy Anniversary Mom & Dad!

Today is my parent’s 25th anniversary of marriage!

My parents are like real life relationship goals for me. They’re married, have kids, have great careers and traveling the world – what more can you ask for !? Growing up in this house full of love, I’ve learned a few things about life, love, and marriage. I’ve decided to share the top 3 love lessons (that I have learned) with you all.

  1. Love is a decision. After the feeling is long and gone, and you have to DECIDE to love one another. It’s not always pretty and cute and fun, sometimes it is hard and rough-looking. Every day for the rest of your life you have to decide to love your significant other, choose who you will love wisely.
  2. Love (and marriage) is friendship amplified.You have to be friends. When my parents first met, they didn’t like each other (you have to get them to tell you the story), but now they are the best of friends. Friends fuss and fight, but at the end of the day, they are still there for each other when they are going through hard times. Also with true friendships (and marriage) you can depend on one another.
  3.  Love is patient. Your spouse or significant other is not going to be perfect (and neither are you for that matter). People make mistakes and unintentionally hurt each other, You have to be patient enough to realize “hey, my significant other is still growing up and maturing, so mistakes and unintentional hurts may happen.” I see so many folks out here that want a spouse that’s already established making 100K a year, flying them out to XYZ, etc.  But those same people aren’t willing to build with a person, so that they can get those things together.

Here’s a cute video tribute of my parents. 🙂 They’re super adorable!

I hope one day to have as happy of a marriage as they have.

Peace and Blessings to them.

– Tanesha

Monday Morning Thoughts: You Deserve A Break, too.

I am a firm believe that our minds and bodies will tell you everything you need to know about yourself. Whenever I am getting extremely stressed out, nothing makes sense. I struggle to do even the simplest of tasks. I even start to panic about things that are not that serious. Normally, these are the signs for me that I need to take a break from everything and recollect myself. There are signs that your body gives you too – maybe reacting to things negatively, becoming pessimistic, or even becoming sickly.

You are so strong, but you deserve (and need) a break sometimes. Take time this week to unplug yourself from the world. Focus on clearing your mind and taking a break. Go to a coffee shop and read your favorite book for a few hours with your phone off. Go to the beach and listen to the water. Spend your entire day in bed if you want to. But take that break, you deserve it.

Stay Encouraged,

-Tanesha

Small Business Saturday: Bronzin’ Movement

Let me tell you all about my friend Ashley, AKA A.Lynn. She is one of the hardest working people I’ve had the pleasure to get to know at HU. She has an amazing up and coming brand: Bronzin’, and it has a phenomenal message. BRONZIN’ is a mantra of empowerment of men and women of color who vigorously glorify their shade of bronze. However, BRONZIN’ doesn’t discriminate. All shades are beautiful, especially while out in the sun.

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Above all what does your brand stand for? What does it mean to you?

  • When I was younger, I was teased about my shade of bronze. Names that I’ve left in the past, did hurt me at the time. One time it was so bad, I remember looking at myself in the mirror thinking, “Wow. I’m not pretty. I’m too dark to be pretty.” I don’t want anyone, no matter their shade to ever think that their God-given bronze isn’t wonderfully made.  Ignorant opinions from others are not included in your life’s equation, so don’t even add the negatives.

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What do you think is most unique about your brand?

  • What’s unique about BRONZIN’ is that you get a chance to really appreciate and see just how many shades of bronze there is in the world. You can’t put BRONZIN’ into one category. BRONZIN’ is so very diverse and I love the fact that everyone can get their bronze on! However, people of color are the original bronzers, which makes BRONZIN’ even more special and unique.

How do you see The Bronzin’ Brand expanding in the future? Further than clothes and a mantra?

  • I believe BRONZIN will go far because it gives people a good feeling. The meaning could give someone who doesn’t embrace themselves as they are the confidence they need to bask in their bronze. I hope to one day expand beyond apparel, so that everyone can support the movement in their own way. With BRONZIN’ I plan to give back to our children and the community as a whole whether it’s a coat drive, or a dinner giveaway, or even monetary donations to charities. One day, I dream of having an annual, weekend-long BRONZE Fest where people who embrace all shades will come together and enjoy live music from some of the best artists, great food, and even greater people. I think the energy of the festival will be something so addictive and so empowering to the people. That’s truly what we need right now the society that we live in.

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Do you plan on bringing the Juice and Bronze together?

  • The Daily Juice is another one of my babies that I plan to take with me to the very top. Even though the two brands are separate, BRONZIN’ is attached to me so I say BRONZIN’ all the time, on and off the air.

How receptive do you feel your brand has been to your peers and friends?

  • Surprisingly, the support of the movement is outstanding. I was just shocked at how quickly the brand picked up. That means the message of self-confidence and love for all people is being understood. That is the goal and that goal will remain.

What is it like being a Young, Black Woman Entrepreneur? and how has it changed who you are? Or made you grow?

  • I can truly say that great things come when you least expect it. I never imagined myself being an entrepreneur but, I am now. It happened so fast and there’s so much that I am still learning along the way but, it helps to have trusted colleagues to call on when I have a new idea. Now you can’t call on everybody because everyone doesn’t want to see you succeed which I said trusted colleagues. And there are very few in my circle. I am thankful for them.

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Do you have any tips to a young person who would want to start a business or even enhance their brand?

  • My advice for anyone starting their brand or business is to always thoroughly plan and think ahead before making your next move. Be anxious for nothing, everything will happen at the right time. Also, never compare your brand and what you’re doing to someone else’s. What’s for them is for them and what God has planned for you – nothing can stop that from happening. I saw a tweet the other day that said, “Treat your brand like it’s a Fortune 500 company.” Think like a success, act like a success and you will be just that. And lastly, never let go of your dreams and goals set for your life. Nothing in the world can stop you from walking out your purpose EXCEPT YOU.

Lastly, what do you want people to know about your brand and why it’s amazing?

  • I want people to know that BRONZIN’ is the new beam of greatness in a world so dark. We have let society place our race, the human race, in various stereotypical categories. Especially, for “minorities”. I don’t know about you but, I am no one’s minority. I love my bronze and we can no longer accept the hurtful labels that have been placed upon us for hundreds of years. For my original bronzers, never be ashamed of your bronze. No matter how dark or how light your bronze may be, love it unapologetically. Everyone can get their bronze on, especially while out in the sun but, for some of us, our bronze comes naturally. And that’s okay. Either way, we are a beautiful race-the human race and “We Don’t Tan, #WEBRONZE.”

 

Get your Bronzin’ Shirt Today and vigorously glorify YOUR shade of bronze – here !

Follow the Bronzin’ Movement on Instagram: @theoriginalbronzers and Twitter: @originalbronze

also check out her BOMB Radio show here.

Love,

-T.Renae (below is me rocking my Bronzin’ Shirt and a silly face.)

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Monday Thoughts: Save Yourself

 

It’s okay to to be the only person you save. It’s not selfish. More than likely you’ve already come across, or will come across in the future a situation where you have to choose yourself over someone else. Whether it be emotional support or a listening ear or whatever it is that that person needs – sometimes you aren’t the one who is supposed to provide it. Especially if you are struggling with your sanity, emotions, getting your life together, etc. They always tell you on an airplane to put your mask on first. You’re no help to anyone if you can’t breath. Focus on getting your mask on and breathing, then help others.
Be Blessed,
-T.Renae

Unconditionally Loving Yourself

On facebook one day, I saw this quote, “This day, I vow to myself, to treat myself as someone I love truly and deeply – in my thoughts, my actions, the choices I make, the experiences I have, each moment I am conscious, I make the decision to love myself. ” It really took me aback, because I feel like in today’s society everyone is pretending to be confident. Which could just be my perception, but I really want to live my life in a way that exudes unconditional self-love. I said unconditional because when I was younger I used to say things like, “I’ll really love myself when I lose 15 pounds,” or “When I get older I’ll love myself more.” When truthfully, I should love myself right now, because I exist and am deserving of the love I express to others.

So, I decided to share with you all my steps to self-love, and I hope that you can use some of these steps in your journey to self-love.

  • Remove Toxicity. Your space is sacred. Get rid of everyone and everything that threatens your peace. I don’t know about you, but this is extremely difficult for me because I sometimes feel like removing people from my life is an act of anger, but it’s often an act of self-preservation.
  • Find happiness in everyday things. Happiness is often all around us – someone laughing at your joke, the sunset and it’s beautiful colors, making it through the day without complaining – These are all things that could make you happy. Choose to look for the good in the world, and acknowledge the bad – but don’t let it consume you. I like to think that keeping myself happy is a form of love.
  • Relieve stress in positive ways. Stress is a natural part of life and there is no way to avoid it. However, how you deal with  and react to the stress is entirely up to you. Learn to deal with stress in a  positive manner. Such as if you get too overwhelmed with stressed, take 5 minutes to just think about nothing, or work through your anxiety by doing an intense workout routine. Keeping your mind in a healthy state is a part of upkeeping your overall wellbeing healthy.
  • Indulge in Good Karma. Treat others good, not for them to reciprocate, but to make yourself feel good about yourself. Doing something good for someone 9 times out of 10 will make you feel good. Just don’t do too much for another person, where it is creating a burden in your life. Love yourself enough to spread the love to others.

How do you work on loving yourself unconditionally – Share below in the comments!

Keep It Classy,

– T. Renae

Dear Friends No More?

Dear ladies and company, I don’t really need love advice, but more like friend advice. I have been friends with this young lady for years, however over the years, she’s becoming such a stank mean person. She expects everyone in our circle to drop everything for her, and sometimes I can’t because I have other priorities such as my dogs, family, and jobs. I’m being kinda vague but for example, she wanted to do a huge week of events for her 21st birthday. And so we (all of her friends) got her this awesome bunch of gifts, and she was so ungrateful! She was like, I don’t even like anything y’all got me. After we spent all this money, not only for the gifts but all the events and stuff. Do you think it’s time to let this friendship go? I just feel bad because she doesn’t have any other friends, and I think that’s why… – Friends No More?

Dear Friends No More,

I am sorry that you have the bad end of the stick with your friend! Maybe she doesn’t know how she’s behaving because no one has ever called her on it. I would probably approach her about it, and just let her know that what she said about the gift was uncalled for, and that she should be grateful that she even got anything. I would let her know that if she wants to continue ya’lls friendship, somethings are going to have to change. Friendships grow and change with time, so it might be time to let this one go. If you feel more strain and tension towards her than you do happy feelings and warm fuzzies. Let it go! You deserve better.

Keep It Classy,

– T. Renae

Dear Confuzzled Feelings

Hey Ladies, There was a guy that I talked to for a second (Like literally for only a month or two) We flirted and hung out every once in a while. He wanted a relationship, but I didn’t want to go there with him. I knew that he wasn’t the one for me and just wanted to be friends. I wouldn’t even let him kiss me, only a peck on the check twice, maybe.  Fast forward to about 5 years later, we’ve both moved on with our lives. Now I hear that he’s really falling hard for one of my closest girlfriends. I mean he’s asked me if it would be a problem that he wants to you know, holla at her. Being that we were never together, officially or whatever. What should I do? Should I feel some type of way? After all,  we weren’t a “thing” right, and I never even wanted anything with him? I haven’t told my friend that he wants to talk to her yet, I mean should I? I don’t have feelings for him, and still not trying to be with him. Should I feel some type of way if she wants to talk to him because he was mine first? – Confuzzled feelings.

Well as far as actually having this guy. I don’t think you had him. It’s also five years later, his feelings for you most likely do not exist anymore. So you maybe having feelings for him back then, or even now – it’s a little too late. I don’t think he was really yours to begin with. You can’t claim authority over someone who you “don’t even want”. I think on one hand you really did want him, and you just didn’t know how to confront your feelings or admit your feelings to yourself (and him). But again it probably is a little too late, being that it is 5 years later and he’s falling for your girlfriends. I don’t think you should feel any type of way, because he’s moved on from the past and you should too. I think as man, I believe he should tell her himself that he wants to talk to her. You should move yourself out of the way of his happiness, and on to better things.

Keep It Classy,

– T.Renae

Dear Depressed and Ready to Mingle

Hi Ladies & Co., I have recently been diagnosed with depression. But I really don’t want it, or like for it to define me. I haven’t been in a relationship in over a year, but I feel as if I would like to start getting out there again. How should I go about it? Like no one wants to be in a relationship with someone that could be so negative all the time. – Depressed and ready to mingle?

Dear Depresses and ready to mingle,

If you want to be in a relationship I would first make sure that you want it for the right reasons. Make sure that you won’t be using a relationship as a way to get through your depression. You must first learn to manage your depression on your own before you bring someone else into the mix. Make sure you are aware of yourself and your feelings. You want to be able to communicate what is going on in your life you’re your partner effectively and in a timely manner.

I don’t think being diagnosed with depression should stop you from getting back into the dating world I just think that they are some things you need to make sure you will be able to do in a relationship. Make sure you will be able to support your partner despite your feelings. I believe that communication and understanding will be vital in the relationship. Find someone who understands and is able to console you when you need it. And who is strong enough on his own to be able to be strong for the both of you when you are not. You need someone who is just as committed to you and helping you to create and maintain a stable relationship as you are.

And then there’s always trying to be positive. Even though you may have negative thoughts that does not mean those thoughts can’t be counteracted by positive ones. I challenge you to flip every negative thought that comes to you mind into a positive one and then to either say that positive thought aloud or write it down and read it.

I wish you the best. Love endures all things,

– Heather

The Big Chop Summer: Tips to Handle Your New Natural

Summer is popular for many, many reasons but in the Natural Hair World summer is the time for Big Chops! Who knows why exactly this is the best time to put the scissors to those relaxed ends, but I found it was easiest for me to big chop in the summer because the weather was better and I had more free time to learn just what-the-heck to do with my new natural curls. For whatever reason YOU may big chop in the summer, there will be a lot of surprises in store and new things to embrace about being natural. Here are five easy tips and tricks if you’ve already big chopped and find yourself facing serious #naturalgirlproblems or if you are considering “big chopping” but don’t know what to expect.

  1. Don’t Compare Your Fro

Before I big chopped I was constantly on Youtube and Instagram looking through pictures of other girl’s big chop results or TWA’s (teeny weeny afro). I was so excited, thinking that I would get these cute little ringlets of curls similar to the many pictures I was seeing. After cutting my hair, however, I simply didn’t look like those other girls because…well because obviously I wasn’t them! When you first big chop, don’t compare your hair to someone else’s. Natural hair comes in a million different curl patterns, and colors and grows in different shapes or to different lengths and so on and so forth. Enjoy your own fro, learn how to love it and embrace it for what it is from day one.

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  1. Nourish Your Fro

When you first chop and are left with little to no hair, it is easy to think that you won’t have to do anything to it for days on end. This is not true. Imagine your hair is a flower in need of being watered and nourished daily in order to help it to flourish. By “watering” I don’t mean shampooing daily (see tip 3), just spritzing it with a water and oil or water and conditioner mix in the morning should be enough. Also, remember that beautiful hair comes from the inside out so nourish your body by eating right and drinking PLENTY of water. Your hair will thank you for it.

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  1. Leave Your Fro Alone

A new fro is normally as tempting to play with as a brand new toy but trust me when I say: leave, it, alone! By this I mean that you should try to resist the temptation to shampoo, re-twist, re-bantu knot or re-braid your hair daily. Find a style that will last you at least 3-5 days, which will help you avoid stressing and breaking your new coils. Also, if your goal is to achieve long (or big) natural hair, then avoid drastic experimentations. If you can, try to stay away from dabbling in keratin treatments, hair dye or texturizers. You’ll end up having to big chop again to get rid of damaged hair or you’ll set yourself further back in the journey then where you started. (Disclaimer: of course you can do WHATEVER you want with your hair and hair will always grow back. So if you’re not worried about anything then by all means do what you want.)

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  1. Budget for Your Fro

The natural hair journey is NOT cheap! Ethnic hair care products are crazy expensive and as a new naturalista it’s almost certain that you will be tempted to buy everything on the shelves that the online hair care forums promise will bring you cute curls to your TWA. The trial and error stage with products will go so much more smoothly and you will feel better about going natural if you are realistic with how much money you are going to spend. So set aside a hefty budget (maybe of about $100-$300) as your natural hair fund to spend on products in your first year. This money can cover products such as co-wash, shampoo, conditioner, hair masks and oils (that you will probably end up never using more than once), new brushes, combs, rollers, dryers and diffusers. The budget will also help you fund protective styles (such as weaves, braids or twists) that can be cute, fun and will give your hair a break. Your hair and wallet will definitely thank you.

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  1. Fall in Love with Your Fro

Warning: big chopping your hair is going to change the way you look. You now no longer have hair in your face distracting from your features, and your style may even change now that you can pull off eccentric pieces you never thought you could have before. It may disorient you to see how different you look, but I promise, from the bottom of my heart, that you look beautiful. If you love your fro, I can promise that it will love you back and reward you by flourishing. Tell your fro how pretty it looks today. Take the time to appreciate how unique your hair is and how mature and sexy you look with such a daring haircut. Don’t be discouraged, don’t let comments get to you and don’t stop falling in love with your fro.
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And with that good luck on your natural hair journey! By the way, I would LOVE to see pictures of new TWA’s and if you would like, share your Big Chop story with us.

Love, Aliah W.