Things I Learned in 2016 That I Am Bringing Into My 2017

It has been about 7 or 8 days into 2017 (at least when I am writing this) and everyone around me has been either saying “new year, new me – I am overhauling my life to make more positive changes and resolutions” or the more self-righteous “I don’t need New Years to recreate myself – I do that every week.” I am somewhat in the middle. This new year, I am super excited about the upcoming possibilities and opportunities that are coming my way. However, I didn’t get there by happenstance – without 2016 there wouldn’t be this chance for 2017.

So here are some of the lessons that I learned in 2016, that I am definitely taking with me into 2017.

  1. It is absolutely OK to not be OK. You are under no circumstances required to be OK all the time. There are days when you are going to be unhappy, distraught, stressed out, worried, etc – and that’s okay. Life is not roses and daisies all the time and that is okay. Honestly, think about this, if life was everything you wanted it to be, you wouldn’t be satisfied nor have an appreciation for all the good that is going on. You gotta take the good with the bad. Balance.
  2. Positive in, Positive Out. You must speak life and positivity over your future and your life. My mother and my friend are always saying you must visual your success and have positive thoughts about your future. Otherwise, it won’t happen. You have to have confidence that the things you desire, the love you want, the job/career you want, all of those things and more will come to you.
  3. Planning is great, but God’s plan is perfect. I am a planner by nature, I like to know what’s going to happen, when it is going to happen, why it is happening – everything. But God does not work like that at all. Not because He is going to harm us, rather because he has plans to prosper us in the future (my paraphrase from Jeremiah 29:11). Furthermore, God’s plan is perfect, absolutely perfect (so perfect we cannot even comprehend). There is nothing in the perfect plan of God, that is not meant for your good. There was a quote by Lisa Bever – she stated, “If you think that you have blown God’s for your life, rest in this: You, my beautiful friend, are not that strong.”
  4. Time heals all wounds, even the ones that hurt the most. Both physical and mental wounds are the same in some sense. First, you get hurt and then you got to put a bandage over the wound to not infect it anymore but also to give your body time to do what it is designed to do heal. Even for mental and emotional wounds, you have to put a bandage on it and give it time to heal. Invest your time into healing yourself. You cannot rush healing my friend, you have to go through all the pain, suffering and once you experience all that you will be allowed to heal.
  5. You deserve to be treated well. People’s actions are not a reflection of you, but rather of you. You don’t have to be a savage, specially in the “world of being a savage.” It is okay to treat others better than they treat you. There are not enough kind-hearted people in the world. But with this, do not be mistaken – I am not saying put up with everyone’s crap. I’m saying treat people kindly, but be sure to take care of yourself.

With all that being said, I hope that 2017 brings you everything that you need to be the best version of yourself.

I love you bunches.

XOXO,

– Tanesha J.

My Season of Patience and Learning

About four months ago, I wrote about my “season of rejection,” since then honestly, nothing has really changed – Things are starting to slowly look up, just not in the way I had imagined my life being (which I will talk about a little later in this post). I’m still feeling some of the same things that I felt back then, however, my mindset has changed completely. About a month or two ago, I feel like God told me to stop wallowing and embrace this moment.

Instead of the season of rejection, I am renaming this time in my life as my season of patience and learning. I am going to be really transparent here: it was so hard to change my mindset. Every day, I am reminded that God is still good and He provides. So no matter how I feel that day, or how much I want to give up – it is all going to end up the way it is supposed to.

I have learned quite a few things while in the midst of this period of my time. So here are the top ones.

  1. You are still going to have bad days, even with this new mindset. You are not a robot where you can just turn on and off when you are going to feel stressed. As this season of transition and change is happening in your life – it is going to be uncomfortable. It’s not going to be the rainbows and giggles that you imagine.
  2. Patience builds endurance. I like to think of patience like a muscle, the more you exercise it, the strong it becomes. No matter how many tears you shed, no matter how badly you think it is – keep going. Give it one day of sadness and then move on to the next day with a refreshed attitude. The more you practice not holding on to the sadness, hurt feelings, and disappointments, the easier it will be.
  3. Life is what you make it, not what you have planed. Have you ever heard that saying that life is 10% of what happens to you and 90% of how you react. You are going to have to choose to react differently to certain situations. Instead of getting upset that XYZ opportunity did not happen for you, use that as motivation to apply to more opportunities that even better. Don’t limit yourself to what you think is in your skillset, go beyond it.
  4. Do more of what you love to keep busy. So life is not working out how you think it should, so what? Your life will eventually get the way it is supposed to be. So for me, I suddenly had an OBNOXIOUS amount of free time (which those of you who really know, know I hate). I started filling my time with working out, reading the Bible and doing daily devotional, catching up on random shows I forgot about, studying to retake the GRE, applying to jobs, looking up grad schools and programs and whatever else I can think of. I think keeping busy really helps me not “wallow” because I have stuff to do.

Life is still hard, but I am determined to make the last few months of 2016 – positive and happy ones.

Be blessed,

– Tanesha Renae

Love Yourself Challenge Week Four: Positive Mantra

This week’s Challenge was to come up with a positive mantra to place around me that would be a daily reminder of my life missions, and encouragement for the days that get a little rough. Throughout my life, I have had many mantras to get me through tough situations in my life. For me, these mantras have just been a way to calm myself down when things are getting hectic and disorganized in my life. Normally they are very specific to whatever situation I am going through. When I was struggling with my self-esteem and image, I had the mantra: “You Are Enough.” It literally helped me when I would get denied opportunities, or relationships, or anything. I had to remind myself that no matter what, God gave me every tool I needed to make it in this life.

Recently I’ve been enjoying life so much more, I thought it was time to upgrade my mantra. Right now my mantra is: “Peace in the storms, Adventure in the good times, Happiness and Love Always, God Forever.” So my mantra is a little long, but each part is applicable to anyone’s life. “Peace in the storms,” my granddad said this to me once during a hurricane and its stuck with me ever since. This part isn’t just for physical storms (although they are pretty scary!), but also metaphorical storms in your life. When everything seems to be going badly, or things are out of  your control, peace is the only thing that will calm you down because the majority of life is out of our control anyways. “Adventure in the good times,” is just a reminder that I should be taking every opportunity to get out and explore the world. I think that I am too scared to do a lot of things, and fear holds so many people back from their dreams! “Happiness and Love always” because the world needs more happy people, as well as people who love fearlessly and passionately. I am trying to love people more genuinely, and just make sure everyone that I encounter obtains a little more happiness from knowing/meeting me. “God Forever” is a tribute to my ever growing relationship with God, that I am working very hard to improve daily.

Keep It Classy,

-T.Renae

Love Yourself Challenge: Week 4

Week 4: Positive Mantra

Come Up with a positive mantra for yourself to place around your room, house, bathroom, on your cell phone, and anywhere else you would look on a daily basis. So the Mantra is like a mini pep talk in one sentence or two. For Example: “You are more than enough,” “You are a Goddess,” “You are the most beautiful and deserving of all positive energies person in the world,” “You is Kind, You is smart, You is important,” or anything like that. Comment Below with what your mantra is!

Share Your Experience With Us in the Comments!

– Ladies and Company


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FRESH START FRIDAYS: NO NEGATIVITY

Sometimes when life starts to get super overwhelming, and negative things start to weigh me down, I wish I could just snap my fingers, spin around three times, and say “Negativity Be Gone,” in my most spellbinding voice and all of those bad things and bad feelings would just disappear. However, that is not how life works, but wouldn’t that be nice. Your life is COMPLETELY in your control, whether you believe it or not. So if there is too much negativity around you GET RID OF IT. Negativity could be honestly anything: bad habits, bad people who complain a lot, your own complaining, too much social media or anything that does not give you good vibes. Biting your nails, drinking soda, whatever you feel is hindering you from being who you want to be GET RID OF IT! Getting rid of all of your negative or bad habits, is not going to happen over night, however if you work on it very diligently, you can do it! I know what you’re thinking, “Tanesha we can’t get rid of all things negative, because do not control how people treat us. What if people treat us negatively?” So what I would say to this is that people only treat them how you allow. This is by far the hardest thing I have EVER had to learn. You may not be directly saying, “hey come be mean to me,” but how you react and behave afterwards does. I have learned through trial and error, if you don’t react to those types of people. Also you could also remember if you just don’t let those things effect you any more, which takes time. “What Sally says of Susie, says more about Sally than Susie.” It takes 21 days to build a habit, so if you do good things for 21 days, you will be able to get rid of all negativity. So if you want to stop complaining, try it for 21 days! Start your new life, Today!

Keep it Classy,
-T.Renae

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