A Love Letter to Rejection

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To My Not-So-Dearest Friend, Rejection,

I am so sorry you get such a bad rep – I would say that you deserve better, but I am not sure that is the most fitting for you. You at least deserve for people to respect you.

You taught me what it means to be persistent.

You are so necessary in the world. And you have taught me so much about myself and about how I function than I can ever thank you for.

You taught me that every “no,” is an opportunity to learn something, gain more experiences, to enjoy the journey more and keep trying.

You taught me that you will not kill me. I spent years avoiding you, honestly, like the plague. I feared you. I thought that meeting you meant that I had failed in some way or form. But we both know that isn’t true.

You have changed me in many ways – you have allowed me to see my potential and the areas where I need to improve.

The more you come around, the easier it is to experience you. I am glad that I am learning to accept you more and more in my life.

You’ve pushed me out into the open waters of uncertainity and forced me to learn to float. To learn how to be in the “uncomfort zone” – where all my best work, my potential and my fears lie.

I won’t say that I love you, but I definitely need you in my life.

Best,

– Tanesha Renae

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My Season of Patience and Learning

About four months ago, I wrote about my “season of rejection,” since then honestly, nothing has really changed – Things are starting to slowly look up, just not in the way I had imagined my life being (which I will talk about a little later in this post). I’m still feeling some of the same things that I felt back then, however, my mindset has changed completely. About a month or two ago, I feel like God told me to stop wallowing and embrace this moment.

Instead of the season of rejection, I am renaming this time in my life as my season of patience and learning. I am going to be really transparent here: it was so hard to change my mindset. Every day, I am reminded that God is still good and He provides. So no matter how I feel that day, or how much I want to give up – it is all going to end up the way it is supposed to.

I have learned quite a few things while in the midst of this period of my time. So here are the top ones.

  1. You are still going to have bad days, even with this new mindset. You are not a robot where you can just turn on and off when you are going to feel stressed. As this season of transition and change is happening in your life – it is going to be uncomfortable. It’s not going to be the rainbows and giggles that you imagine.
  2. Patience builds endurance. I like to think of patience like a muscle, the more you exercise it, the strong it becomes. No matter how many tears you shed, no matter how badly you think it is – keep going. Give it one day of sadness and then move on to the next day with a refreshed attitude. The more you practice not holding on to the sadness, hurt feelings, and disappointments, the easier it will be.
  3. Life is what you make it, not what you have planed. Have you ever heard that saying that life is 10% of what happens to you and 90% of how you react. You are going to have to choose to react differently to certain situations. Instead of getting upset that XYZ opportunity did not happen for you, use that as motivation to apply to more opportunities that even better. Don’t limit yourself to what you think is in your skillset, go beyond it.
  4. Do more of what you love to keep busy. So life is not working out how you think it should, so what? Your life will eventually get the way it is supposed to be. So for me, I suddenly had an OBNOXIOUS amount of free time (which those of you who really know, know I hate). I started filling my time with working out, reading the Bible and doing daily devotional, catching up on random shows I forgot about, studying to retake the GRE, applying to jobs, looking up grad schools and programs and whatever else I can think of. I think keeping busy really helps me not “wallow” because I have stuff to do.

Life is still hard, but I am determined to make the last few months of 2016 – positive and happy ones.

Be blessed,

– Tanesha Renae