Define Life Yourself

How often are you allowing others to define your life? Stop and think about it, like really think about it. Subconsciously, we all do this. We allow others to define what our success should look like, what it means to be in a relationship or what being a 20-something year old should look like. But honestly, the only person who should be defining what our lives look like, what our success looks like or relationships look like is ourselves. You as the individual should define that, not your parents, your friends, the lady on Instagram who you admire, none of them.

Many times, we allow what other people are doing and what is trending right now to define what things are for our lives. For example, people think that their relationships aren’t real until they’re on social media – which isn’t even the case. Or we define what success is by looking at somebody else’s success. Think about how life was before social media, where we couldn’t see every single thing about everyone’s life, where you didn’t know what other people were doing – how would you then defined your life, your success or your relationship?

I feel like we think about what other people are doing and how other people are living their lives – as the “template.” However, the “template” might not be the correct fit your life. God has a specific and unique path and plan for you and it might not look like everybody else’s. You have to be ready to just accept whatever it is.

This weekend I encourage you to really sit down and define your life and figure out exactly what defines YOU. What does success look like to YOU? What do YOU want your relationship to look like?

Share below how you define your life, your relationships and success! I can’t wait to hear about them.

XOXO,

– Tanesha

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The Price of Being Independent

This generation of women holds strong to their independents. It’s an amazing feeling to be a strong, independent women. We have our own which is a beautiful thing. We are lawyers, doctors, politicians and possible presidents of the United States of America. We are reaching higher heights than ever before but this sometimes can come at a price. There is always something that suffers, and most times it is our relationships! Sometimes that power or independence creates tension in relationships. Women we forget we have to let the man,  be the man.

When women are breadwinners that can sometimes create barriers in the relationship. As strong women, we have to still show that we are dependent on our men. I know for some that will be a hard pill to swallow but we have to make our men feel needed. Especially if that’s the man we want to build a future with. We confuse caring for our men or showing that we can submit to our men as weakness, but that’s not necessarily true. If the man you’re with has your best interest at heart, loves God and you, it’s okay to show him your softer side.Women are not supposed to run the show, the man is the head. Let’s say it together – WE HAVE TO FOLLOW OUR MEN! Ok, now take a deep breath. It’s okay, I promise you because it’s going to pay off!

Let’s recap! Allow the man to be the man! Allow your man to take the lead! It’s okay to submit to your man when he has a relationship with God, loves you and has your best interest at heart.

Share below about what you think about letting the man be the man!

Love Always,

– A. Rochell

Monday Mindset for Love: Week 3

Welcome to Week 3 everyone in the Month of Love! We’re about halfway done with the month and we’ve made some major strides in our walk towards love.

One of the most important things to do in your life is to be able to Heal and Deal with all of your past hurts, and last relationship’s problems. For me, I had to take a hard look at everything that has every hurt me in the past. Then, be able to confront those problems head on, instead of avoiding them, or pushing them to the side, or pretending like they don’t exist. For example, while in high school my heart was severely broken. Until I really figured out what it was that went wrong in that relationship, I wasn’t able to go into my next relationship with an open mind and for it to last a long time. I heard once, that until you deal with your past, you will never be able to go into your future with positivity and an open mind – the same goes with your heart.

“Assignment” – Think about and consider every relationship you’ve ever been hurt in, and deal with those hurts. For example, if I was hurt my ex-boyfriend, I would have to confront and deal with that first, before being able to be open to recieve long.

What are some of the things that you have been hurt by and how did you deal with them? Share below in our comments!

Keep It Classy,

– T. Renae.

Who to Follow for Instagram Inspiration

Need an Instagram Pick Me Up? Here are some of the top people, and blogs I follow on Instagram that NEVER fail to inspire me. They are in no order, but I just love them so much! To be honest, I am not even sure how I began following them in the first place, but I am so glad I did!

  • @WifeyNTraining – I love their Instagram, they post the cutest inspirational quotes, about preparing yourself to be a great wife. They also post cute couple pictures, that give me so much hope in love. I personally love the little wifey tips that they have recently started doing.
  • @heatherllove – Her Instagram (and facebook page, and blog and life) is such a great representation of Christ. She is always posting about her family, her kids, husband and (my favorite part) the great Word of Jesus. She also gives little interpretations of the word, as well as how to apply it to our lives. It is really great (in my opinion) how she posts about her daily struggles as a woman of God, and it makes me feel like she’s down to earth and is like me with my walk with God.
  • @heragenda – This blog motivates me so much to just start my own business and be my own boss! They’re always posting opportunities, inspiration, and information and yes I took this from their bio – but its so true!!
  • @aqueensworth – This Instagram inspires me so much. They always post such positive and re-affirming words that allow young women to really evaluate some of the situations we, as women, place ourselves in, as well as realize our self-worth. They also have really cute clothes to be purchased!
  • @lauralacquer – Her entire life is goals. I follow her mainly because I want my life to be (or at least) seem as perfect as hers is. She has two beautiful little girls, and both Laura and her husband are medical doctors! Follow her if you just want a dose of two cute little babies, even cuter clothes, her bomb (and very handsome) husband and her life as a Harvard M.D.
  • @LadiesandCompany – and last but certainly not least, be sure to follow us on Instagram for our inspirational posts, as well as keep up to date on our blog happenings!

Be sure to check out these ladies’ inspirational Instagram accounts.

Keep It Classy,

– T. Renae

**I was not paid or provided with any compensation for these endorsements. I just really love these ladies’ pages. 

Dear Trying to Help a Friend,

Hola Ladies & Company, one of my very best friends wants to tell her guy best friend (not her boyfriend or anything, just good- er GREAT friends). She’s always going to him with her problems, and he’s never failed to be there for her. He’s such a great dude, overall. Well, about a week or so ago, she told me that she realized that he’s the one. Like “THE ONE.” She said that she realized it as she was sleeping over his house and he was talking about his GIRLFRIEND and all the problems they’re having. She said that she realizes that the only person who would be good for him would be her and that she wants them to break out. Honestly, I don’t even think her guy best friend realizes she has feelings for him. They’ve known each other since they were 7, but nothing has ever happened intimately with them. Should she tell him, how she feels? or wait until the time is better (and he is single)? – Trying to Help a Friend

Dear Trying to Help a Friend,

Well, first I commend you for trying to help and seeking out advice. That’s such a great friend thing to do. There should be more friends out there like you.

So to your friend: it is normal to have feelings for someone you’ve known since 7. Just because you’re in close proximity with that person. Psychological research has shown that being in a close proximity with someone physically plays a huge role in attraction. For example, if you see a good looking guy at the mall, and then never see him again. Most likely you will forget about him in a few days. However, if you keep seeing this good looking guy the more attractive he will seem. You won’t forget about him because the stimuli (the good looking guy) has been reinforced in your mind. Now, what physical proximity does is that it ensures that continues exposure (of the good looking guy) keeps happening until attraction intensifies. Now, just because you are attracted to your friend, does not mean you should pursue him. In my opinion, you should respect the fact that he has a girlfriend. If it’s true love, it’ll show itself when the time is right. I think you should hold on to your feelings, for now, and when the time is right, you can tell him. Honestly, if you love him as much as you say you do – his happiness should be the ultimate goal even if that means with his girlfriend.

Keep It Classy,

– T. Renae

Gratitude Challenge: Week 5

“Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things. ” – Robert Brault

First of all congratulations on almost completing this month’s challenge! This is the last week so to end the month, spend time reflecting on the spirit of gratitude. Even if you only were grateful for the little things. Think about the things in your gratitude journal that you were consistently thankful for. Also, try to continue this challenges once the month is over. A little gratitude goes a long way.

What are you thankful for?

– Ladies & Co. 

Dear Give It Up

So my ex-boyfriend and I have been broken up for about a year now… We travel in the same circles, for the most part, so we’re always running into each other. But now it is to the point where he doesn’t even speak to me at all. I still somewhat care for him, but I refuse to keep trying to be friends when he doesn’t try at all… What should I do say forget him, or reach out to him one more time? – Give it up?

Dear Give It Up,

I can definitely understand your situation as I was in a similar one in high school. If I was you would I would cut him off completely. I would still be polite and cordial towards him and don’t be rude, however, I wouldn’t go out of my way anymore to attempt to be friends with him. It’s obvious that he’s trying to get over you, because you’re such a wonderful young lady, and you should also take that time to heal as well. Maybe sometime in the future you both will be able to develop a friendship again. I would be kind, and avoid being rude, however, I would say forget him, and move on!

Keep It Classy,

– T.Renae

Dear In Love or Nah,

Hola #AskTheLadies, i think I am still in love with this guy, but y’know I’m unsure because we don’t talk like we used to, partly because he’s also dealing with another girl. He hasn’t put titles on either of our relationships. We had issues and I could no longer cope with his lies. I’ve told him if he wants to talk to her, he should leave me alone. The problem is he doesn’t want to . Well I didn’t give him a choice, and I left, though I was extremely upset that it couldn’t just be the 2 of us. We didn’t talk for over a month BUT he kept persisting. Calling me, texting me, facetiming me and so on. I’ve discovered that this other girl is still in the picture. I don’t understand why he wants to have me around  when he has her. I just need help figuring out whether my strong feelings for him are love? or am i attached because of the chemistry we had? -In Love or Nahh
Dear In Love or Nah,
You will always have some form of love, bond, or connection with someone that you have spent a lot of time with. However, you can’t force someone to be with you or want to talk to you. He is his own person and makes his own decisions. You were right for leaving him and not speaking to him because he was entertaining someone else. Even though it may hurt to see him with this other girl, just try to focus on yourself and moving forward in your life. I’m sure you probably gave him a lot of yourself but being stuck on him can possibly leave you to miss out on another guy, who respects, love, and adores you. Most importantly a guy that, cares about you enough not to entertain other women. You may still have love because as a woman we tend to love hard and become really emotionally attached, but you are probably not in love anymore with him.
Stay Strong,
Mion Edwards

Dear Tryna Come Clean,

Hi Ladies & Company, I met this wonderful man named William last year. He’s highly educated, God fearing, with a strong moral character. His first relationship was a long term one, and I can see why. I, on the other hand, have lied to him about my past. I was a bit of a wild girl growing up. I had a few one-night stands, a couple of sugar daddies, and a few trains run on me, but this was all done in the dark. When he asked me about my past, I was honestly very vague and told him that I was in a couple of long-term relationships. Should I come clean? or leave things as they are because our relationship is going really well. I am honestly terrified of his reaction. I am a female in my late twenties. – Tryna Come Clean.

Dear Tryna Come Clean,

First of all, I commend you for having the confidence to submit this question to us. Secondly, I think you need to really weigh the pros and cons of this relationship to make sure you both are 100% committed to each other now. If you both are, then it shouldn’t matter how colorful your past was. If it was me, I would probably not go into extreme detail about this wild past, however, I wouldn’t belittle the past either, or make it out to be something that it is not. You have a past and he should respect that. I think that if William is as good of a guy as he says and has been showing to you, he will forgive you. You don’t want to run into the problem what if he finds out or you run into someone from your past, then he could potentially be more upset about you being dishonest than the actual acts. If you are far enough removed from that part of your past life, it should be okay. I believe that you should’ve gone ahead tested for STDs, and other potential health issues. Also another thing to consider is that William probably has a past too, it might not be as “bad”, but he probably has some things in it that he wishes he could erase as well. If the relationship is strong, it shouldn’t matter. You both are together now in the present, and hopefully you will be in the future!

Keep It Classy,

T.Renae

Dear Wanting to Know,

Hola friends, I have a general question, just to get your opinions, and feedback on. How many sex partners it too many for a female? Or even a male? – Wanting to Know

Dear Wanting to Know,

At one time probably two because then it gets a little messy and then spreading diseases may occur and it’s just not a good idea in my opinion. How many is too many over a lifetime? I would say you have to use your discretion. For males and females think about what kind of person you want to be perceived as, when you feel as though you are becoming a person you don’t want to be then it’s probably a good idea to stop and reevaluate your actions.
Peace Love and Harmony,
Averi Simone