Valentine’s Day Impromptu Date Ideas

Happy Valentine’s Day

Some folks go out with their girls to dinner and movie (like a date with their girls), while others sit in the house and sulk. Honestly, my friends all live in different states and sitting in the house and sulking doesn’t sound appealing either. So what am I to do? I decided to come up with some impromptu “date ideas”! These are great ideas for you go out with your significant other, your girls, or even go out solo!

  1. Have an intense workout session.
  2. Go to a museum or an art gallery
  3. Buy Yourself some flowers or pick some!
  4. Get up early, make breakfast, and enjoy the quiet morning.
  5. Write yourself a love letter
  6. Send your girls a heartfelt text message (or call) about how much you love them.
  7. Go out to dinner (I love good food!!)
  8. Take a long walk in your favorite park
  9. Go to the library or Barnes & nobles to read for a while (I guarantee it won’t be crowded!)
  10. Get a mani/pedi – or even give yourself one at home!
  11. Go see that movie you’ve been waiting to see!
  12. Have a “Night In” – eat junk food and watch a movie marathon!

Don’t be forced to stay home on this day full of love – Enjoy the love you have received over the years and give some love away (maybe a random act of kindness?)

XOXO,

– Tanesha

 

Newly Single? I got you. 

So like you, at the beginning of the year I became single. After being in a very serious relationship for about two or so years, I felt like I had lost a huge chuck of who I was. Not because I was any less of a person without the relationship, but because I had become used to having him around and a big part of my life. But now that it’s been a few months, I’ve got a few tips that can help you through this period.

  • I needed time to grieve, and you probably do too. As a person, who loves hard, it takes a bit of time to get over someone, especially someone you cared deeply about. As Part of my grieving, I wanted to be left completely alone – I cut off communication with my ex-boyfriend. I gave myself a week to be mopey and sad, (and honestly it was probably too much time). But I was able to release all the sadness and hurt I was feeling by way of tears, eating junk food, sleeping and being lazy.
  • Change, change, change. I literally changed everything around me. I got rid of most things that reminded me of my ex-boyfriend (and by get rid of I mean I put it all in a box, I kept some stuff out tho). I rearranged my furniture, changed my hair, changed how I dressed and how I do my make up. After changing everything, I felt so refreshed and brand new.
  • Get busy. Grind time doesn’t stop. You are too amazing to stop being great. Do you have a secret hobby you wanted to get into? Now you have the extra Time to devote to that. You have the opportunity to be even more amazing than you were before! You can also fill that time with the great company of your friends and family. They are always going to be there for you and support you, and I’m sure they would not be opposed to spending some extra time with you!
  • Go out on dates, but DO NOT REBOUND. I know this sound contradictory but I think that it’s okay to go out with other people, but only when you’re ready and in a healthy way. Just don’t be on the rebound. What I mean is don’t go out immediately looking for a replacement significant other. I know you’re lonely and in your feelings, but no. Rebounding literally makes you feel worse than when you started. But if there are young men interested in you, give them a chance.

 

Those are the main things I would suggest, but most of all – give yourself time. Time heals all wounds.

 
What are some tips do you have for the newly single? Or if you are newly single, how are you coping?

 
XOXO
– Tanesha.

Dear Ready for Love?

Dear ladies and company, so I am in my senior year of my senior year of college and I have never been on a date. I really want to you know start mingling with men in my age group or even a little older because I think I am ready for a relationship. I’m not exactly sure where to begin with the dating game. I want to be wowed and treated like a queen, however, what I’m seeing now in the dating game is like boys running games on girls running games on guys it is just not OK! So, how do I start dating without compromising my standards? – Ready for Love?

Dear Ready For Love,

First, it is really good that you have realized that you’re at the point of being ready to date. So many young ladies these days are just jumping into the dating world without being ready. First I would set your boundaries out. What are you willing, and unwilling to accept while dating? Maybe you want him to pay for the first date, but are willing to compromise and go dutch on dates 2-3. Also, I would figure out what you really need, what you would like, and what you can compromise on and what you won’t. I think through this process, you will be able to be a little bit more open with guys. As well as you will be able to stand firm in what you want and what you deserve. Then you can start going on dates – maybe some online dating sites such as POF, or Tinder, or the Bae App, or have your friends set up you up with some of their friends (at least you know the guys will be decent humans, unless you have shitty friends). And then, just let whatever happens, happen.

Keep It Classy,

– T. Renae

 

Dear Single and Old,

Hey Ladies and Co, I have been single much of my life. I am now 20 years old, like two decades old, and still have not been in one relationship? Like what is wrong with me? All of my friends are in serious relationships and getting engaged and im just here in college alone. Are there any tips on getting a boyfriend? –Single and Old

 

Dear Single and old,

You are absolutely not old at all. You are in the prime of your life and you have an advantage in the dating arena…you have no baggage…at all! You’re fresh and innocent while still being mature and savvy. I am a true believe in fate, chance and destiny. If your prince charming hasn’t come along yet theres no need to lose hope because he is riding his chariot to you as we speak (type?) Take your focus off of wanting a guy and a relationship because you’ll end up more unhappy in an unfulfilled relationship. Good things come when you’re least expecting. Plus guys love a chase. Be so wrapped up in a hobby, art or passion of yours that the right guy will work hard to grab your attention. When he finally does…well whether he’s the right one or not at least you have a start.

-Aliah W

 

Hey Single and Old!

I’ve learned everyone is ready for relationships during different times in their lives and  God will send you your companion or other half when he feels the time is right so don’t sweat it too much! On the other hand you also have to appear available, not desperate , two totally different things. You can’t say you want a relationship and you’re not putting any time into trying to get one I don’t think you’re too old yet but maybe you really need to look within yourself and really have a conversation with yourself or a close honest friend regarding how you may come off to guys and what type of guy are looking for. Do you believe you could be wanting someone out of your league or are you standards too high. Have you always been  so focus on your work and you are just now thinking about dating? These are a real questions you need ask yourself and do you really believe your ready to date or are you afraid of being alone since all your friends have someone. When you answers these questions truly and pray about it you will find the answers you need and I’m sure it all will work out.

-A. Rochelle

Dating You!

What a concept?

Have you ever thought that maybe you can’t find anyone for you because you don’t know yourself??? *think about it* We all say, myself included. I am guilty; “we can’t find good men anymore” or one better “ I am single because I just don’t want to be”…. LIES WE TELL! LOL

Think about it… Would you date you if you were someone else? For those who say yes right off the back really think about it. On those bad days when you aren’t so pleasant and those days you just don’t want to be a bothered, would you date you?  We must take time to look at the person staring at you in the mirror!

As women most of us are looking for the right one because we know we have a lot to offer right? This is where we get a little confused because the bible says “HE that finds a good woman finds a good thing”….. Proverbs 18:22.  Trust me I know how hard that seems in our generation BUT it’s NOT our job to find a man it’s his job to find us.

If that means we’re single for months or even a year its God’s will and He is just getting us ready. In that time we need to figure out who we are, which I call dating yourself! I’m not saying you have to go to movies, dinner or concerts alone but I do feel you need to enjoy your own company because you shouldn’t need a man to feel complete. I’m learning God places a man in your life when you are complete within yourself, that man is an added bonus to put you on another level. 1 x 1=1 Get it? When God send you the MAN who becomes your husband them together you are one!!!

-A.Rochell

What to do when all your friends are “falling in love,” and you’re not,

Last year around this time I was becoming EXTREMELY depressed. It seemed like every one of my friends were going out on dates, and becoming infatuated with some guy and being oh so happy, etc., etc. I was a little on the jealous side… OK fine, I was a lot of the jealous side! But here’s what I did to overcome these feelings.

  1. GET BUSY. It doesn’t matter what you get busy doing, just do something. There is no worse feeling than on a Friday night, and you’re sitting there looking at a wall. Invest in Netflix and binge watch at least 6 shows, take up a new hobby (I took up making waist beads, and anklets), explore your local city, rediscover your library, just do something!
  2. Speaking of library, READ SOME BOOKS. More specifically read some women empowerment books! Here’s some: Power of the Pussy (part 1 and 2) by Kara King, Lady in Waiting by Jackie Kendall and Debby Jones, Mrs. Right by Tony A Gaskins Jr, Gentlewoman by Enitan O Bereola II (if you need more empowerment books email me at taneshajohnson@icloud.com)
  3. REVIST YOUR “CHECKLIST.” What I did personally was made a list of priorities vs. preferences. Priorities – are things that your man should not without. For example, one of my priorities on my life, is he has to know Christ, and have a relationship with God, while a preference is that he has huge muscles. See the difference? This will help you determine what really matters in a relationship, and recognize what really matters.
  4. FOCUS ON OTHER FRIENDSHIPS. Don’t cut off your friends who in the relationships. I mean sure, they now have an extra person in their circle, that does not mean you have been kicked out of their circle. It has just been a little expanded. You could also try to go out on group outings, inviting singles and couples. You could also just find other people in your “outer circle” to hang out with as well if you don’t want to be third-wheeling it.

Keep It Classy,

T. Renae

It doesn’t matter what happens to you. What matters is, what are you going to do about it? Are you going to complain and shrink or are you going to step into your greatness?

– Robert Tew

14 Reasons to Celebrate Your Singleness This Valentine’s Day!

If Valentine’s Day is the “Holiday of Love,” isn’t this the perfect time to love yourself a little more fiercely? To remind yourself of how strong, and spirited, and independent you are? To celebrate yourself and your life a little? So if you’re sad and mopey and struggling with the fact that another Valentine’s is dawning and you’re not yet a party of two…here are fourteen reasons why no one deserves your love more than YOU!

  1. Because you’re so brave, you’d rather walk alone than someone who is unworthy of you.

  2. Because you realize that you are the cake and a relationship is the icing, and with or without the icing, a cake is still a cake.

  3. Because you’ve created a life you love and feel no need to be rescued from.

  4. Because you pay your own bills, plan your own day, chart your own path, and make your own way.

  5. Because you love when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely.

  6. Because you live life on your terms and you don’t apologize.

  7. Because you know that you have to learn to love YOU before you can ask some else to.

  8. Because “good enough” isn’t good enough for you.

  9. Because you’ve decided that whether or not love ever arrives…you’re gonna THRIVE.

  10. Because your happiness, worth, and self-confidence is not dependent on your relationship status.

  11. Because you trust in God’s perfect timing, you know that every moment of the wait is preparing you for the one you’re waiting for.

  12. Because for you, settling is not an option.

  13. Because you know it’s no one’s job to complete you, fix you, or validate you. It takes a healthy “me” to create a healthy “we.”

  14. Because before you’re ready to wear a diamond, you want to become one.

 

Adapted from Mandy Hale’s Instagram page.