Sunday Soapbox: Where You Need to Be. 

I saw a quote by Tracee Ellis Ross that said “May the space between where I am and where I want to be inspire me and not terrify me.” And I realized I’m terrified of that space! I’m literally living right in the middle of the end of my undergrad years, and where I want to be seems so far ahead in the distance. And I keep trying to do a little bit here, and a little bit there – trying to bridge the gap but I realized that I’m probably right where I need to be.
You can’t build to your character, patience, endurance, perseverance by living a life that works out perfectly every single time. Those things don’t come from getting what you want, those things come from trials & error, suffering, getting knocked down (and standing back up). Even if you’re not where you want to be right now, you’ll end up exactly where you need to be. Day by day. Step by step. Inch by inch. little by little. You’ll get there. I promise. And I completely believe that, at the end of the day – one day I will be exactly where I want to be.

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Words [of] Encouragement Wednesday: 7/22

“Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway.” – Earl Nightingale

Mr. Nightingale said it best ‘the time will pass anyways.’ Think about it, no matter if you run furiously towards your dreams and goals, or if you just sit by idly waiting for your dreams and goals to just magically be accomplished, the time will move. I think the best and most productive use of your time would be to keep striving towards your goals. No matter how grand or impossible-seeming your goal maybe, you can do it! Just focus, and work towards it! Stay Encouraged.

-Ladies & Co. 

Words [of] Encouragement Wednesday: 6/17

“Stop Trying to prove it to other people. Prove it to yourself.”

You will save so much time, and energy by not trying to prove yourself to other people. I mean think about it, once you prove it to them once, you’ll just feel like you have to keep proving yourself to gain their acceptance, and approval. Once you start proving to yourself, that you can do everything that you put your mind to, you will be much much much more satisfied with life, and feel more rewarded. Stay Encouraged.
Ladies and Company

Tanesha’s Truth on Relationships

Prior to dating my current boyfriend, deep deep deep down inside, I hated relationships, with burning passion. I always felt like I was putting in more effort than I was receiving and that they weren’t really worthy of my precious God given time. So for a while I just kinda stopped dating, I mean I still talked to guys here and there, but nothing serious. And if I am being completely honest with myself, I knew I was wasting my time with these guys. Sure they were nice, but no one I wanted to be with long term, or even be serious with. So once I was out of that phase I decided that I needed to make some boundaries or better standards for myself when it came to dating. The rules I made, if I do say so myself, worked out pretty well because I am now dating the most amazing guy on Earth.
So here we go.
  1. You must really intimately know him for at least 2-3 months before beginning to date him. – I knew that being in a serious long term relationship meant that we would first have to be extremely good friends. People always say that the best relationships come from friendships. So I figured why not test this theory.
  2. He must meet all of your serious dating MUST HAVE checklist – No, I’m not talking about that superficial checklist where the guy has to be 6’6, basketball player, with a sensitive soul. I’m talking about the things he must have to even be considered in these dating games like honesty, respect, humbleness, etc.
  3. Effort must be shown consistently. – Both parties are involved in this. Relationships in my opinion are 100/100, and I refuse to be giving 100, and he’s only giving 50. It makes no sense and leaves one person hurt, usually the person who is putting forth the effort.
  4. Never settle for less than butterflies. – I feel like I deserve to be wow-ed. Dating today has become boring and effortless and not in a good way. I knew I wanted a long term relationship with someone who floored me all the time. Not necessarily with materialistic things, with like good-morning phone calls, random flowers, cute little notes, compliments, surprises, etc.
  5. Your gut must say yes too. – Sometimes a guy can have everything you want and need and STILL BE WRONG FOR YOU! Trust me I know! Listen to your womanly intuition, and trust it, because 8/10 it’s right. If your gut is say stay clear, STAY CLEAR!
What I’ve learned keeping these boundaries and standards, is that the right guy for you will meet all these and more. These standards are not asking for too much, Serious, long term relationships are nothing like in the movies, where you meet him, the next day fall in love, and then have earth shattering sex, and then everything is great, and ya’ll live happily ever after. I mean, it is a possibility that it could end up that way, but it is also a possibility that it won’t. Relationships take five important components: Communication, Time, Commitment, Effort, Consistency, and Fun. Communication is valuable and needed for any relationship to flourish. Its not about how much you talk, rather the QUALITY of the conversation. Without communication your relationship will not work. It’s literally that simple, so if you’re struggling in this domain like do not pass go do not collect $200 do not go on to the next level because you’re not ready for for a serious relationship. You both have to put in the time and effort into the relationship, its really that simple. You are going to have to be there for that person, and it shouldn’t feel like a burden, you should want to be there for your significant other. Relationships shouldn’t feel like work, they should feel more like an extension of your happiness. Your happiness, and your significant others happiness should expand over each other kinda like a Venn Diagram. Similarly a true, real, genuine relationship should swirl into each other. Relationships should make you a better person, well rounded, want to achieve more, not the opposite. And with that one of the main things I am doing in my not new relationship is that I’m making sure I don’t lose who I am, and what I want to become, and he doesn’t lose who he is, or what he wants. Making sure we achieve our individual’s dreams and goals, so we don’t lose ourselves is apart of our healthy relationship. So in essence my truth on relationships, maybe different, but it has truly worked for me, and I hope it can work for you too!
-T.Renae

Your time is limited, don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma, which is living the result of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinion drowned your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition, they somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

–Steve Jobs